A Game of Cat and Cat
by Zantetsuken Reverse
Summary: When supernatural crime strikes, as a wielder of magic powers, it's your responsibility to fight. If you're an endgame protagonist, a few criminals should be easy, right? Except your powers aren't exactly legal, and the cops are after you. And you're not the only endgame protagonist out there... A tale of cops, crooks, and everyone in between.
1. Chapter 1: Demon Summoning for Dummies

For those of you who have stuck with me, this is the third iteration of the 'SMT and Castlevania protagonists live together' type story. The previous versions have no bearing to this one, other than minor callbacks.

The other night, I had a weird dream where I was the Demi-Fiend before the Conception. Apparently, he was in the cult with Ms. Takao, because she was open with him about how they were going to change the world, but she also said not to do anything out of the ordinary in case the world didn't actually end like they wanted it to. For some reason we were picking up other people's money, and we were going to hand it all off to the first beggar we found, which would be pointless if the world really did end.

In another weird dream, I dreamt that Rick Riordan came out with another book where Jason was turned into a wolf.

I've been playing Digital Devil Saga, and I think the saddest scene is the one where Fred is waving the Embryon goodbye. I think it's because it's relatable. I've never had someone very close to me die, but I can relate to watching someone leave and having that void in your life. Similarly, I felt pretty guilty about the Massacre route in Apocalypse, but I found that it was harder to be a jerk to Nanashi's friends than it was to kill them. But still, Apocalypse was the only game in the series to make me feel bad for murdering party members.

I've started Curse of Darkness, and thanks to a long discussion with another author on this site (kudos to you, LuciferXIII Trollkaiger Green), one of the first things I learned about the game was that Hector's voice actor is named Crispin Freeman. I also dug around on DDS's TV Tropes and found that he also voiced Heat. Now I only hear Heat whenever Hector speaks. It's only because I knew they're the same, though; I didn't hear Heat at all when I heard Matthias speak at the end of Lament of Innocence.

It just clicked that Heat and the heroine of SMT1 have some design similarities. In the concept art on Megaten Wiki, they both pose the same way (hands on hips, feet pointing away from each other), have the same one-shoulder cape over the left shoulder, and their hair parts and drapes in the same direction.

Cool real life thing: in Santz Cruz, California, there is a Belmont Street.

Also, in one of my stories, there was a minor character named Martin Seward, who is a descendant of Dr. Seward. I watched the movie Dracula, and it turns out that there's an orderly named Martin who works in Dr. Seward's asylum.

In another story, I gave Julius Belmont a relative named Seliph who is simultaneously his half-brother, step-brother, and cousin, as a reference to Prince Julius and Seliph of _Fire Emblem 4_ (same mother, but Julius's father is Seliph's uncle). Now the Netflix Castlevania shows a pair of peasants who argue over whether they're brothers or cousins because they have the same father, but the mother of one is the aunt of the other.

For reference, Kazuya is the hero of SMT1.

A Game of Cat and Cat

" _Demon Summoning is one of the blackest arts imaginable. Not only must the summoner submit his God-given soul to vile monsters, he must sacrifice others to call forth his evil masters. I pray that this dark art shall be lost in the mists of time…_ "

-Diary of Leon Belmont, translated by Julius Belmont

Kazuya Kawamoto was good at many things. Swords, for instance. His movements were blindingly fast, even with the heaviest blade. Another thing he was good at was first aid. He knew exactly how to set a bone or stop bleeding in an emergency, and exactly what not to do when a bullet is lodged in someone's chest. Other things he was good at included stair climbing, falling long distances safely, navigating traps, keeping track of maps, boosting morale, and reloading guns.

But if there was one thing Kazuya Kawamoto prided himself upon, it was his skill with computers. He had been fascinated by them ever since he was old enough to be trusted not to drool over the keyboards. When he was thirteen, he had designed and built his own portable computer. By the time he was fifteen, he had broken and repaired it so many times that he could fix it in his sleep. It was also reinforced as best as his allowance could stretch.

His crowning achievement, in his opinion, was a virtual reality viewer. He had poured years of downtime into pushing pixels before it bore fruit. Unfortunately, he couldn't complete his masterpiece, a program that simulated a gigantic tree. It was supposed to have seasons, show realistic sunlight and shadows, and a nonrepeating bark pattern. He already made an outline for the forest he was going to make, and it was all a matter of making the trees. [1]

It was no exaggeration to say that Kazuya was the best computer scientist in the freshman class.

"A phishing scam?" repeated Soma Cruz, Kazuya's roommate. " _You_ fell for a phishing scam?"

"It said that it could halve my student debt," said Kazuya tersely.

"Oh… wow," said Naoki Kashima, his other roommate, looking over his shoulder. "I'm very sorry, Kazuya," he said sincerely.

"I mean, I'm sorry, too, but… that's basic internet safety," said Soma. "I thought you knew about com-"

Naoki silenced Soma with a cutting glare.

"…Dinner's on me, whenever you want," said Soma quickly.

Kazuya sighed. Looking at his bank balance wasn't going to magically change it. "Thank you for the sympathy, but I want to be alone right now," he said, grabbing his bag.

Soma stepped back. "All right then. You have my number, so give me a call when you're hungry."

"Thank you, Soma."

Kazuya strode out of the room, his bearing as regal and arrogant as a lion, and eyes icier than the January sky outside. His footsteps scarcely made a sound on the tiled floors. With arms toned and muscled from years of swinging heavy practice swords, he yanked the door to the basement.

He probably would have looked very intimidating had he not been trying to eat three energy bars at once.

Despite his exceptional skill with computers, the fact remained that Kazuya was a refugee displaced from time, and more than a bit out of touch with the modern internet. The act of phishing, for example, was not terribly well known until well after the year 2000.

In Kazuya's timeline, the internet stopped working after the autumn of 1999, burned by nuclear fire, and no one had bothered to make a new one. Even with all the demons running around, it was still easier to pay a kid 500 Macca to carry a floppy disc across town than it was to make ethernet cables.

Most skilled programmers, on the rare occasion where they would be caught in this situation, would have hacked the money back. But that would have left a trail, and Kazuya had no intention of being arrested again. He wasn't sure if he could prove that they had scammed him first, and he already had a dim view of the justice system after his second stint in jail. Besides, just because he knew how to program didn't mean that he knew how to hack.

But most skilled programmers didn't know how to call up demons from the lowest pits of the Netherworld and make them sign away their freedom with digital work contracts. Especially not Lieutenant-Generals of Hell with the power to do practically anything in one night.

COMP strapped securely to his arm like an archer's bracer, Kazuya descended the steps that led to the dorm's basement. No one ever went down there unless they wanted to use the washing machines, and those broke so often that the students had long since jumped ship to the dorm across the street. Kazuya liked it down there, for the peaceful atmosphere and the comforting hum of machinery. It reminded him when he slept in tunnels.

Traditionally, summoning a demon required a ritual involving chanting, debauchery, alcohol, sugar, blood, and sacrifices, not necessarily in that order. Kazuya could skip most of that with the Demon Summoning Program, which translated the chanting and soforth into a smooth transition of binary. The sacrifices couldn't be eliminated, but it could at least make it a little less messy.

The only problem exclusive to the program was the fact that without drawing a summoning circle, users could accidentally summon their demons into walls. Stephen couldn't do much about that with just software, especially when it wasn't guaranteed that every computer had active sonar detectors, so he had to do some fudging. He used the CPU's orientation to calibrate the dimensions (somehow), gave the user the dimensions of free space required to summon the demon, and added an input for coordinates. It had taken Kazuya much trial and error to get this right, especially when he had to do this in the middle of a fight. [2]

Two wisps of pale fire flickered into being. They swirled around one another, and coalesced into a winged green imp. The demon hissed as it scanned the room for enemies, but relaxed when it saw none. Payment could be delayed when a demon was summoned in the middle of a battle, but Fallen demons preferred pointless formalities whenever possible.

"It has been a long time since thou last called me," said the imp in Japanese. "I trust you are well?"

Kazuya had made all of his speech-capable demons learn Japanese, partially because it was faster to communicate without the COMP's translator, but mostly so that they could communicate with bystanders. Kazuya used to send them on errands without him, and too often were they attacked by demon slayers who couldn't tell them apart from wild demons. The obvious solution of giving them distinguishing clothes or accessories stopped working after some rabble-rouser dressed up some captive demons in stolen clothes and turned them loose in the middle of the city. Not everyone believed a demon's word, but it at least cut down the number of incidents.

"Good evening, Fleurety," said Kazuya. "Unless you have any requests, I shall pay you in yen tonight."

Outside of combat, demons were only required to obey orders after payment. They could request or accept literally anything, and Kazuya used to amuse children with an anecdote involving a Titan, some sock puppets, and the entire plot of _Final Fantasy VII_. However, to prevent summoners from paying in garbage, there was a clause in the contract stating that a demon could refuse any offer that did not use legitimate currency. Kazuya had learned that the hard way after his time travelling adventure in the Diamond Realm rendered his yen valueless.

"Dost thou have any Macca?" asked Fleurety.

"I do, but that's for emergencies."

Since the point of the program was to bind demons to a summoner to make them fight, a demon could not refuse a summoner's orders if the summoner provided them with some form of legitimate currency.

Fleurety did not voice its displeasure. Instead, it said, "I accept thy offer of yen."

"Good," said Kazuya, digging into his wallet and dispensing the exact amount into Fleurety's waiting hand. "Instead of Magnetite, I offer you my life force for sustenance. After I finish issuing orders, of course."

Monetary compensation was at most an employer's obligation, but energy was a biological necessity that summoners had to provide. This energy had to be some form of life energy; demons couldn't use anything else any more than humans could eat lightning. The traditional way was to use human sacrifices, and Kazuya usually used a substance called Magnetite, but today he was using his own life force. This wasn't as dangerous as it sounded. If taken in small amounts, life energy grew back. It exhausted the summoner and made them unfit for combat, so Kazuya never used it when he trekked through Tokyo, but it was perfect for physically undemanding college days.

"I accept," said Fleurety. It kneeled, head bowed low in supplication. "What is thy bidding, my master?"

Kazuya held up a slip of paper containing what little information he could glean from the email. "Are you capable of identifying humans with this information?"

Fleurety picked up the paper and began reading. "I am," it said after a minute.

"Good," said Kazuya. "I have good reason to believe that the person, or people, to whom this information belongs to has stolen from me. I command you to investigate their records and determine if this is true. If they stole from me, make them return everything they stole using this scam. Under no circumstances are you do harm them, let them know who I am, or allow anyone other than myself or any others on the list to see you. Make sure that they return more than just my money, or else they'll know I'm the one behind this. I advise that you leave some ice or slash marks on the walls, so they know that it isn't a dream."

"Detailed as ever, master," said Fleurety. "Very well. One night, I promise thee."

Kazuya raised a hand. "I'm not finished," he said. "In addition, I order you to get me a 300 ml cappuccino, made with whole milk, 5ml of cocoa dusted on top, and 5 ml of cinnamon mixed in with the milk. And a chocolate croissant from the pastry shop next to the train station. And a bowl of jambalaya, too. Place the cappuccino, croissant, and jambalaya on my desk within an hour of acquiring them."

"Very well, then."

"And I've been neglecting the dishes as of late…"

 _Oh, Lucifer, not again_. Fleurety thought.

"…Make sure to separate the whites, the colors, and the delicates…"

 _I used to assassinate my masters' enemies, fill their castles with gold and treasure, and grant them the most erotic desires of the flesh._

"You might as well give any homeless people you encounter a decent meal…"

 _I thought I'd be granting another son of man his deepest desires, but_ no _, he wants to build houses and soup kitchens._

"Don't mix bleach and ammonia; that's poisonous…"

 _Forcing us to memorize his battle codewords was bad enough. I don't think I'll ever stop thinking of flanking from the left whenever someone mentions chocolate muffins._

"Oh, and get me some Pocky…"

Fleurety did not need to breathe, but it made the best semblance it could of clearing its throat. "May I speak, Master?"

Kazuya nodded. "Proceed."

"I beg of thee, write me a list of thy commands. Thou ask much of me, and I do not wish to neglect any of thy requests."

"Hm… you have a point," said Kazuya. He took a notebook out of his bag and started jotting down orders. "Just do everything on this list. Can you do all of these?"

"I cannot perform all of those tasks," said Fleurety with forced blandness. It had to get his revenge somehow.

Kazuya paused. "Let me ask something else. Which items are you incapable of performing?"

Fleurety couldn't help but smirk as it said, "The third item from the top with a prime number of letters, all items that have a perfect number of vowels, the-" [3]

Kazuya raised a hand. "Indicate which actions you cannot perform by tapping them with your finger."

Fleurety tapped the twelfth item on the page.

"All right, so you can't scrub the floors without waking up my-"

Fleurety kept on tapping that item.

"…Answer me. Are you tapping in Morse code?"

"Yes."

"Can you translate it?"

"Yes."

"What is the translation?"

"Henceforth, let it be stated that the truth value of the first statement is equal in value to the statement Left-Parenthesis Left-Parenthesis True AND False Right-Parenthesis XOR Left-Parenthesis False AND False Right-Parenthesis Right-Parenthesis OR Left-Parenthesis Left-Parenthesis True OR False Right-Parenthesis AND Left-Parenthesis True XOR False Right Parenthesis Right Parenthesis STOP The truth va-"

Kazuya raised his hands up in defeat. "All right, you win. I'm brute-forcing this. Can you perform the first item on the list?"

"Yes."

"Can you perform the second item on the list?"

"Yes."

"How many items can you not perform?"

"The number of items that I cannot perform is equal to the second happy number."

"…Can you perform the third item on the list?"

This went on until Kazuya learned that he could not perform the fifth, seventh, eighth, twelfth, fifteenth, twenty-third, and twenty-seventh item on the list. "I assume you want your Magnetite now?" he said icily.

"Aye, verily."

Kazuya took off his jacket and rolled up his left sleeve. "Take only what you require."

Fleurety knelt and bit Kazuya on the shoulder with his long, sharp fangs. Kazuya winced, but did not cry out. The more painful the wound, the more Magnetite was generated.

After what felt like an eternity, Fleurety let go. "Thy will be done," it said as it vanished into the darkness.

His only witness gone, Kazuya finally allowed himself to collapse spread-eagled on the ground. He heard a high-pitched ringing in his ears, and the noise of the machines began to sound farther and farther away. "You had better be worth it," he muttered as the edges of vision began to darken. [4]

When his tongue and teeth stopped feeling numb, Kazuya figured that he could sit up. With hands made clumsy with weakness, he poured an exact amount of rubbing alcohol on his wound. He then forced a square of chocolate into his mouth, savoring the taste. Feeling slightly better with some sugar in his bloodstream, he struggled to his feet and used the wall to get back to his room (cursing the stairs every step). He wolfed down leftover rice, fish, and fudge cake (he'd asked Fleurety to clean up after him) before collapsing into his bed without bathing or brushing his teeth.

By the morning of the next day, Kazuya's bank account balance had righted itself, and his room was a little cleaner than before. Soma had left him a large beef bowl with extra vegetables in the fridge for him, along with a note saying that it was for him. Kazuya celebrated with the cappuccino, changed his bank account number and password, and returned Fleurety to whence he came. He told his roommates that he hacked his money back, and they believed him. Soma still insisted that he could have the bowl.

A good night's rest and two meals couldn't completely cure Magnetite deficiency, but he could at least walk to the lecture halls, given a few breaks in between. He should have been fine by the next day, when he would be meeting with that poor kid he met over the internet who needed some cash to pay back her little brother's hospital bills before her father would have to give their college funds to the yakuza.

The only problem was the slowly melting bowl constructed of frozen jambalaya that Fleurety placed on top of his 8432 yen discrete mathematics textbook. "Note to self," he said as he wiped down his book. "A bowl of jambalaya is not the same as a bowl containing jambalaya."

X

A few days passed. Not much happened to Kazuya. He recovered quickly with rest and plentiful food, luxuries that he still had trouble believing in. He handed in homework, watched cat videos, and submitted his Neopets password to the inspector.

As usual, he paid little attention to his roommates.

X

It was a beautiful January day in Haruhata City. The bright sunlight and cloudless sky gave the illusion of a pleasantly warm spring day to those who chose to spend their Sundays indoors, but this lovely image fooled no one. It was bitterly cold.

Everywhere in the city, shops that sold tea, coffee, or hot chocolate saw small but meaningful bumps in profit. Even the coffee shop next to Haruhata University saw more sales during this seasonal winter depression than during finals week.

That café, called _Back in Black_ , was unsurprisingly packed. Hardly anyone took particular notice of the three people sitting at a table in the corner. Who would? After all, they looked completely ordinary, with their orange, yellow, and white hair in Japan, and their perfectly normal fluffy white longcoats, and their… never mind.

"You're probably wondering why I called you here today," said Yoko Belnades, professional monster hunter and scion of a clan of magicians. In front of her was a chocolate croissant and a black coffee.

"If I had to guess, I'd say it's because you couldn't discuss it over the phone," said Mina Hakuba, part-time miko and daughter of a clan of shine priests. She was holding a currant scone in one hand and a paper cup of ginger tea in the other.

"And it has to do with… my problems," said Soma Cruz, reincarnation of Count Dracula, King of All Vampires, Lord of Terror, and never, ever called the Prince of Darkness. A cup of hot chocolate and a cherry Danish sat on a plate, untouched.

Yoko nodded. "Exactly," she said.

"Then why are we discussing this in a café instead of somewhere secure?" asked Mina.

"This is secure," said Yoko. "At least, it's the most secure place I can find."

"How?" said Soma incredulously. "If you're a professional va—a professional, why isn't there-"

"I can't take you anywhere else," interrupted Yoko. "HQ's off limits to civilians, and even if it wasn't, I don't want my coworkers to hear your secrets. Same goes for my apartment; we're all in the same building and the walls are thin. You probably have roommates. A crowded place like a coffee shop near a college is loud enough so that no one can hear us."

"Does that really work, or did you just get that from _Harry Potter_?" asked Mina.

"If you don't believe me, just try listening to what those kids next to us are talking about," said Yoko.

"…How wonderful grass smells when you're rolling around in it?" said Mina after a few seconds.

"Clean water just falls from the sky and no one bothers to pick it up?" added Soma.

"All right, bad example," admitted Yoko. "But even if they can hear us, it doesn't mean that they will. Most people are too caught up in their own lives to pay attention."

"Even if we start talking about vampires?" said Mina.

"Even then. Most normal people would rather think that we're either crazy or talking about a story. One of my coworkers swears that they overheard some bank robbers talk about their job a week before they actually did it. Happy now?"

"Okay then," said Mina. "Sorry about the delay, I just wanted to be sure."

"It's fine; you were just being safe."

Soma tore off a piece of his Danish, but did not eat. "So what's so important that you'd come all the way here just to tell us?" he said. "The suspense is killing me."

"The thing that I called Mina in the dead of night to call a meeting for?" said Yoko.

"Yes, that," said Soma.

"The thing that's so secret that I'm constantly looking over your shoulders to look for eavesdroppers?" said Yoko.

"Yes," said Mina.

"The thing that's so important that I'm willing to go against orders and risk getting fired?"

"Now you're just messing with us," said Soma.

"Come on, what is it?" said Mina eagerly.

Yoko said it.

"…That's it?" said Mina.

"But we already knew that," said Soma.

Yoko stretched. "I'm not after your life," she repeated, more out of teasing amusement than annoyance.

"…You're messing with us," said Mina. He tone was that of annoyance, but a smile slipped out.

Yoko took a sip of coffee. "Fine, that's only technically true."

Yoko's eyes flitted around the café, and Soma realized that she had chosen their table for a reason. Her back was up against the corner, so she could see almost everyone in the room. She had placed Soma and Mina so that she couldn't be seen by people on the street. "I really could get fired over this, but a misunderstanding could be a disaster, and it would be incredibly stupid if we could have just sat down and talked it over. Besides, it's not like I'm the first person to spill."

"Spill what?" said Mina.

Yoko lowered her head to the level of the table. "I'm on a mission right now, right here in Haruhata City," she hissed in a low whisper. "I can't tell you the details, but I can assure you that it has nothing to do with Dracula. We think."

"You think?" said Mina.

"There's no proof that he or his cults are involved," said Yoko. "And by 'no proof', I mean 'not enough information for any meaningful conclusion,' not 'curse you, Lex Luthor, we know you did it but you're too good at covering up evidence.'" Yoko caught Mina's grin. "Fine, I can only assure you that I was not sent here because of Dracula."

Soma coughed. "Not that I'm not grateful for the info, but… why did you need to tell us this?"

Yoko shrugged. "I'm a professional vampire hunter. You're Dracula's reincarnation. If I started hanging around your city for no reason, and made flimsy excuses when you pressed for answers, you'd think that I was up to something, wouldn't you? And if I didn't explain anything, the easiest answer would be that I'm spying on you and betraying your trust."

Soma and Mina looked at each other. "You watch a lot of movies, don't you?" said Soma.

"Enough to know how stupid miscommunication plots are," said Yoko.

"But… if you're warning us that there will be spies around here, and you're telling us not to worry, wouldn't that be the perfect cover for you to actually spy on us?" said Mina.

"Wouldn't it be more efficient to not tell you?" said Yoko.

"Only if your spies are absolutely sure that someone with Soma's abilities won't notice them."

"Do you really have that much faith in Soma's powers of perception?" said Yoko.

Mina shrugged. "I haven't witnessed them firsthand, but if I knew that my target is the only known wielder of a supernatural power that has a seemingly infinite number of unconventional uses, I'd be as careful as I could."

"True," said Yoko.

"So how do we know that you're not actually spying on us?" said Mina in a forced casual tone.

Yoko paused. "If I said that you'd see us more if we really were spying on you, that's not proof because spies aren't supposed to be seen. Maybe I could prove it by…"

"Telling us what you're going after will suffice," said Mina with a smile.

"But even if I did tell you, I might be lying," countered Yoko.

"True, true… But it's possible to tell when someone's lying, right?"

"But even if you know if I'm lying, that doesn't get you any closer to the truth, because you don't know if I'm hiding the fact that I'm spying on Soma or if I'm covering up something else."

"But then if I took a squirrel and-"

Yoko never heard what Mina would do with a squirrel, because Soma chose that time to interrupt.

"Who do you work for, anyways?" said Soma suddenly.

The smile fled from Yoko's face faster than a Tsuchinoko. "Are you accusing me of being a spy?" she said in a carefully measured tone.

"What? No!" said Soma, startled by her sudden seriousness. "It's just… I'm confused because you've always been unclear about that. You said the church sent you for Castlevania, but you were also working with Arikado, who was working for some Japanese intelligence thing. And you were working with him and Julius in Celia's castle. Which organization do you work for?"

Yoko blinked owlishly, than leaned back in her chair. "Sorry. Work habit. I get accused almost every time I'm hired. And no, I don't keep losing my job," she added when she saw the question Mina was afraid to ask. "I'm a freelance magician."

"You're a mercenary?" said Soma.

"I'm a _freelance magician_ ," insisted Yoko.

"What's the difference?"

"I only get hired by people who believe in magic." Yoko took another sip of coffee. "To answer your question, the church hired me for Castlevania, but I worked with Arikado because I knew him from before. Normally, the Agency of Supernatural Investigation—that's Arikado's 'Japanese intelligence thing'—doesn't allow its members to work with outsiders unless strictly necessary, but he wasn't acting in their name for Castlevania. I don't think the Agency even knew that Castlevania was in Japan at all." [5]

"Really?" said Mina.

"I figured that if they knew, they'd send at least someone," said Yoko. "But I'm not really a member, and Arikado never talks about what he did there, so I can't be certain."

"What about Celia's castle?" asked Soma. "Did that Agency hire you?"

Yoko nodded.

"Julius too?"

"Technically, Julius isn't a mercenary, but he came on their behalf," said Yoko. "He's supposed to be training his successor, but he had to come because a Dark Lord might have been involved. He can't stop for anything less." She took a bite of croissant. "And there's your proof, Mina. If Dracula was involved, Julius would be here with the Vampire Killer."

"But how can you prove that he's not here?" said Mina.

"I can prove that he's somewhere else," said Yoko.

"Fair enough," said Mina. "You win this round."

"Any more questions?" said Yoko. Soma and Mina shook their heads. "None? In that case, I need to finish unpacking."

"Do you need any help?" offered Mina.

"No, I'm all right on my own," said Yoko, stuffing the remains of her chocolate croissant in her mouth. "See you later!"

The three of them said their goodbyes, and left to do more work.

It wasn't until dinnertime that Mina realized that Yoko never told her what she was after.

"What could possibly be so important that the government would hire a mercenary?" she said to herself.

X

The Vortex World was a harsh, unforgiving desert. The glare of Kagutsuchi did little for the plants, but instead gave rise to seas of poison, rivers of Magatsuhi, and oceans of sand. There was little enough for a human to eat in a world of ruin, so the Demi-Fiend was forced to subsist on a diet of other demons. One might think that after returning to a society where food cost less than an hour's hunt, one would want all sorts of treats like ice cream, steaks, parfaits, or even sushi.

But after surviving for months in a barren desert of demons, destruction, and doom, the dreaded Demi-Fiend just had a craving for sandwiches.

Even though it was only a few months shy of two years since the world was restored, Naoki Kashima still enjoyed sandwiches. He ate at least three every day, stuffed full of fish, beef, lettuce, cucumber, pork, or whatever was on sale. It was cheaper than buying a hot lunch every day, too.

One frosty morning, Naoki used the last slice of bread in the package, and was about to move on to the next bag when he realized that the baker had somehow forgot to slice the bread.

Naoki's first idea was to just get a knife, but then he remembered that his cheap knife was too short to cut through the bread evenly.

Naoki's second idea was to use his nails, the same tools that had opened cans and cans of cold soup, grass jelly, and beans, but then he realized that even if his nails were sharper than a vain man's razor, they were shorter than his knife.

Naoki's third idea was to use the energy sword that he produced whenever he used Deadly Fury. This sword was definitely long enough for a clean cut, and if the _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ movie was correct, it might even toast his bread.

"Soma's off with his girlfriend, and Kazuya's off in the lab," Naoki said to himself as he shut the curtains. "No one's going to see."

Naoki placed the bread on his desk and held out his right hand. A shimmering sword of light flickered into existence. The bread toasted beautifully as the blade sliced through it, every slice with a golden-brown shell no thicker than an eggshell, leaving a soft, buttery center. It offered no more resistance to the sword that slaughtered thousands than a knife through water.

Unfortunately, neither did the desk.

"…Crap," said Naoki. He grabbed one of the unused trash cans (all three of them had brought one, but only the biggest one got used), stacked last semester's textbooks on top, and propped up both halves of the desk. Thanks to the fact that the desk rested on panels instead of legs, the new pillar wouldn't be seen from most angles.

Crisis averted, Naoki sat down and considered his options.

"I could swap it with someone else's, and leave it to them… no, wait, then they'd just tell their roommates that they have no idea what happened to their desk. Maybe I can say it was like this when I got here. Yes, as long as they don't think _I_ did it—and I'm too weak and skinny to cut a table in half, even with a sword—mysterious phenomena happening around me won't be too suspicious."

Naoki let out a sigh of relief. "I wish I could afford a spare desk…wait."

Naoki's gaze fell on a dusty desk. "Thank goodness for my missing roommate."

By the time Soma and Kazuya came back, Naoki had successfully swapped his desk with that of their fourth roommate, whom they hadn't seen in days. When Daisuke Higawa came back and knocked over the support pillar, he'd be the one to deal with the broken desk and the barrage of questions.

"Serves you right, putting rotten fish in my underwear," Naoki muttered.

X

That night, Yoko Belnades collapsed on her couch, exhausted from the day's work.

Idly, she went to her laptop and played back the security footage that Arikado had sent her and the team.

A green monster emerging from a shadowy corner of a café, putting on a hat and apron, and brewing the tastiest looking cup of coffee that Yoko had ever seen.

The same green demon snatching dishwashing liquid and laundry detergent from the shelves of a supermarket, vanishing, and reappearing to replace the partially used bottles onto the shelves.

The green demon mucking around with a pot of stew and a freezer in a restaurant.

The green demon placing a steaming Styrofoam cup of something next to a sleeping homeless person, caught by a bank's exterior cameras.

The green demon drinking a bottle of whiskey in a library and pouring through a math textbook.

Yoko had thought it was drunk at first, but there was a distinct lack of stumbling and clumsiness. It acted too keenly, too precisely, to be drunk.

Arikado had agreed. Yoko recalled his grave words as he handed her the memo a week before. "Another demon summoner," she said to herself. "Is this really coincidence?"

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] The trees and forest: I think that in-universe, Arcadia is incredibly fake-looking for anyone who knows what forests look like. But by the time SMT2 rolls around, there hasn't been a forest near Tokyo for a hundred years. Kazuya and Stephen, and maybe Aoi (for reasons I will explain later) are the only ones who remember forests.

[2] How Stephen prevented telefragging with summoning: Stephen went on to fix this problem in later incarnations of the program.

The version that Aleph got made a transparent, incorporeal box that showed where the demon was going to be summoned. Unlike Kazuya's version, the coordinates could be changed by pressing the up/down/left/right/1/2 buttons in addition to typing, but it still followed the movements of the computer.

The people of Tokyo in SMT4 used this same principle, but instead used a pair of floating rings that rotated around perpendicular axes. Unlike previous versions, once those rings appeared, they stayed in place even if the phone moved.

The Samurai of Mikado had their Gauntlets designed by Stephen, so this time he installed active sonar. He gave the user two options: the first was to let the computer pick the ideal location. The second was to make those same rings as the Tokyo version, but they'd change color if they touched something other than air.

[3] Fleurety and letters: Fleurety messes with Kazuya by making it hard to tell which items he can't do. Specifically, he refers to the number of letters and consonants. I think of the characters speaking in Japanese and my writing is the English translation. In Japanese, he would refer to the number of strokes and the number of strokes in the kanji.

[4] Kazuya passing out: This is from my own experience with almost fainting.

[5] The Agency doesn't know about Castlevania: According to Castlevania Wiki, the unnamed Agency that Arikado works for is a super-secret, powerful organization that operates in the shadows and might have been involved with the Battle of 1999.

Unfortunately, I didn't know that when I planned this story.

The Agency isn't the powerful force it is in canon for several reasons. First, there's no solid evidence that they're competent in canon because the only confirmed agent you see is Arikado, and I attribute everything he does to him instead of some organization that's barely referenced. I also once misread Arikado's profile and thought he infiltrated the Agency instead of joining it, which colored my impression.

Second, Yoko isn't a member in this story. Since the Agency had to hire two outsiders in DoS, I figured that they didn't have that many competent members.

Third, if the Agency did its job properly and secured every threat, there wouldn't be a plot. And if the wild card Soma had to do its job for them twice, I have my doubts in canon.

For reference, here is a list of secrets and who knows about them. Only characters who have appeared or mentioned will be listed.

 **Dracula's reincarnation is alive** :

People who know it's Soma: Soma, Mina, Yoko, Julius, and Arikado.

People who know he exists: No one.

 **A Demon Summoner lives in Haruhata** :

People who know it's Kazuya: Kazuya and his demons.

People who know he exists: members of the Agency, Yoko, Arikado.

 **Yoko is on a mission** :

People who knows what she's after: Yoko, Arikado

People who know it exists: Soma, Mina

OMAKE: Disgusting

"Look at this!" said a filler character, pointing to something that he or she does not like. "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen! Don't you agree?"

"Um," said Soma.

FLASHBACK

Soma wanted to throw up, but he was too afraid that _it_ might come after him the second he looked away. Those featureless, white bodies were creepy enough. They were like springy fungi in the shape of humans. Even after slaying so many zombies, demons, and beasts, Soma had the feeling that it wasn't safe to attack those things.

Soma didn't think that those faceless…things could get any worse, until he found the room they were gathering in. They… stuck to each other, then fused into the shape of a gigantic, bloodless brain. There was an insistent, low-pitched hum in the room that sounded like a swarm of baritone mosquitoes, but when Soma stopped to listen closely, he could make out individual voices…

"I am Legion, for we are many…"

END FLASHBACK

"Um," said Naoki.

FLASHBACK

Naoki threw up his lunch. Nothing could have prepared him for something like this.

It wasn't because they were dismembered so brutally. Naoki had gouged, ripped, bitten, and impaled his share of demons.

It wasn't because they looked human. Their facial expressions seemed to be baked into their skin, and that twitching drove him mad sometimes. Succubi and Lilim looked more human than they did.

It wasn't because they were nice to him. They treated him with the same general disdain as any other demon, even after he saved their leader.

No, Naoki was horrified because they couldn't fight back.

He wanted to cry, cremate them, give them a proper burial, leave some offerings, say some prayers to gods that he wasn't sure he believed in, anything. But he knew that if he stopped for any reason, he might not reach the survivors in time…

When the first angel turned up, face ungodly serene amongst all the corpses of the Manikins, Naoki couldn't control himself.

END FLASHBACK

"Um," said the character whose real name and very existence is a spoiler, but goes by Doctor Pain to protect his identity.

FLASHBACK

[DOCTOR PAIN] could barely see through the haze of pain and blood loss, but he couldn't help but notice silhouette of his coworker warped and spasmed into an unnatural shape. He—no, it—lunged at the nearest nurse, slicing off her arm with a…where did it get that sword from?

 _It's eating her_ , thought [DOCTOR PAIN] dully, looking for anything to take his mind off of the bullet embedded in his side that was currently cracking open his spine. _And then it's going to eat me_.

[DOCTOR PAIN] sputtered blood and acid out of his mouth, straight from his stomach. _Oh my God._

END FLASHBACK

"Um," said Flynn and Isabeau.

FLASHBACK

Walter almost dropped the bottle in disgust. "B-brains?" he said.

Suddenly, the room felt a lot colder. _Brains? Harvested? From… children?_

 _For their own safety… they sacrificed their own children_ … It took every ounce of Isabeau's willpower to not draw her sword right then and there.

 _This is what would sicken someone vile enough to transform people into demons_ … Flynn gritted his teeth and reminded himself of his fellow samurai, who would surely be executed if he made any trouble…

END FLASHBACK

"Um," said Kazuya.

FLASHBACK

Kazuya couldn't decide if he should cheer, cry, or vomit. He settled on all three.

Aoi was near to comfort him, but he barely noticed her presence.

For now, the only thing in the world was the head of his best friend, the one that he decapitated himself just moments before…

END FLASHBACK

"Um," said Mina.

FLASHBACK

For the first time in her life, Mina cursed her curiosity.

The zombies were disgusting, and she wanted to leave it at that. But she couldn't help but notice the way they limped because of the exposed bone on their legs, the way their flesh seemed to melt around the chest level, the blend of blood and stomach acid leaking on the ground and leaving grooves on the dirt floor…

Mouth filling with bile, she took aim at the head, trying not to look too hard at the brain leaking out of the cracked eye socket, and fired.

END FLASHBACK

"Um," said Aoi.

FLASHBACK

The sea glistened in the fading sunlight. It should have been beautiful; it was clearer than the purest glass, and it reflected the vast sky above. There was almost nothing to mar the view, just a few buildings in a perfect ocean.

But Aoi knew better. Not thirty minutes ago, the ocean was merely empty air. Before, below the Basilica, there was a city. Now, below the Basilica, there _was_ a city.

Kazuya found them a demon to ride on, and they headed for Tokyo Tower. Aoi wanted to look away from the bottom, away from all the destruction, but someone had to witness this. Someone had to see what was left of all the lives that had been swept away by the waves.

The water was deep, but unnaturally clear. There should have been debris murking the bottom, but it was as clear as the reservoir in Shibuya. The evening light was enough to see the shapes of men, women, and children drifting lifelessly beneath the waves.

Kazuya grabbed Aoi's hand. Aoi squeezed back. They had no words.

END FLASHBACK

"Um," said Roland.

FLASHBACK

Roland knew it existed. That wasn't enough to prepare him for the reality.

He had expected meat hooks hanging from the walls, ribcages suspended from the ceilings, tables full of bloody entrails. But the facility was clean and modern. The machines were shiny and new. He could have eaten his lunch off of the conveyor belts, which was probably the point. They were probably cleaner than the plates back at the base. If he hadn't known what it was they were packaging, he could have mistaken it for a cake or chocolate factory. Somehow, that made it worse.

It was almost a relief to find himself locked in the cells, dozens of inmates clamoring and despairing for their freedom. Almost.

When Roland saw the cans, he had to stop himself from throwing up in front of the Embryon. Canning a rotten Blob, even one that was once human, was bad enough. But nothing was worse than pure, clean, 100% natural, canned human meat…

There was no way he was ever going to eat spam again.

END FLASHBACK

"Um," said Hammer.

FLASHBACK

You didn't live through a war without seeing things you rather not see.

END FLASHBACK

"Um," said Nanashi.

FLASHBACK

Nanashi had died before. He had been stabbed, shot, strangled, drowned, burned alive, buried alive, electrocuted, impaled, gouged, and eviscerated. He thought he had gotten used to death. Neither death no pain held any horror for him.

But only his own deaths.

There was his sister, moments before a whole, healthy girl, now a… a… a pile of warm flesh, lumps of meat, bits of brain and intestine flecked on the walls…

When her killer left, he couldn't bring himself to lift himself up from the ground.

END FLASHBACK

"Um," said Julius.

FLASHBACK

"J-Ju—Julius?"

Julius stifled a whining noise from his throat. "You're… not Johnny…" he said to himself, raising the Vampire Killer.

"It… it is…mm…urrryy…" said the zombie with the features of his friend, Private Johnny Josephson.

"God…" said Julius. Normally, zombies were just zombies, a bunch of lumps of flesh fused together. Alucard had captured and set loose plenty for training exercises. But something recently raised wasn't… they weren't rotten. The thing in front of him looked completely human, just like an injured human…

"Help… Ju…Juli…"

It shouldn't have felt effortless. Julius sliced the zombie's head off with one flick the Vampire Killer, and fell to his knees when he saw Johnny's completely human-looking body dissolve into red slime.

"W—why?"

END FLASHBACK

"Um," said Hijiri.

From many unraised voices came a resounding, echoing "NO."


	2. Chapter 2: The Hunt Begins

I hear about how much flak Apocalypse gets for how happy the Bonds ending is compared to every other ending in the franchise. Then I realized that it _had_ to be a happy ending. If Nanashi didn't make that contract with Dagda, then Flynn would have gone with the Neutral ending, which is already a good ending by SMT standards. But because of Nanashi's meddling, Krishna was unsealed and the three-way war got tons of people killed. Nanashi had to get a better ending than Flynn, or else everything he did was pointless.

On the subject of Apocalypse, I read SMT4's Demonic Gene manga. I didn't like it, but the ending was similar to the Massacre ending. Flynn, who is some extradimensional entity in this version, is dissatisfied with the outcome. So he goes to a void where seven balls of light are floating, and he sends one up, and it turns into a new world almost identical to the last, just like what Nanashi does.

I'm playing Dx2, and it's okay. It's addictive, but not satisfying. The overall plot doesn't go anywhere, and the subplots are recycled without the same depth as the originals. The Liberators are more like a bunch of quirks slapped together than characters; SMT1's Law and Chaos heroes had more development. The Acolytes are generically evil; they don't even seem to have a core philosophy, unlike Nihilo and the Messians. The big reveal about Einherjar and Astaroth is underwhelming; it's out of nowhere, impacts nothing, and doesn't really capture the idea of 'small fraction of the war between Law and Chaos.' Astaroth being lawful and not being Ishtar is weird. I think I'd be a lot more interested if they had canon characters as cameos; I like Fire Emblem Heroes because they have everyone. I guess the appeal is having new demons, but the turnover rate is so high that I can't enjoy that. Still, the new 3D designs are good; Illuyanka looks incredible.

I'll get Grimoire of Souls when it comes out, but only if it's free.

Woo hoo, Simon and Richter are in Smash now! I found out when The Onion ran an article about Smash characters intimidating their opponents by intentionally wounding themselves, and Simon's was handing over the Vampire Killer and asking for a whipping.

Just as a heads up, some characters who appear to be OCs will actually be canon characters. And any SMT or Castlevania is fair game. Yes, that includes Persona.

If any character uses religious curses when they have every reason to avoid Christianity, remember that unless noted, everyone's speaking Japanese. I choose to use religious curses because there aren't many other mild English curses; 'crap' and 'ass' can only go so far. Avoiding religious curses would force everyone to choose between, essentially, 'sugar' and 'shit.'

As a disclaimer, the views of the characters are based off of what I think they would hold based on their life experiences, and are not necessarily my own. I don't like making characters mouthpieces or strawmen, and I think it's especially annoying when it's not even relevant. Little things like favorite foods or least favorite subjects don't count.

 **Who knows what** :

The demon summoner in Haruhata: Kazuya is the only one who knows it's him. Yoko and Arikado knows of him.

Dracula's reincarnation is alive: Soma, Mina, Yoko, Julius, Arikado, and Hammer all know it's Soma (or just the Castlevania cast).

The Demi-Fiend in Haruhata: Only Naoki knows.

The Agency is doing something in Haruhata: Yoko, Arikado, and the agents know what they're doing. Soma and Mina just know that they're there.

The Hunt Begins

"Justice is an integral pillar of society; one does not comprehend how important it is for wrongs to be righted until they have no one to depend upon save themselves. When someone else inevitably attempts to fill that void, endeavor to aid them in their mission. However, know that they are just as human and fallible as you, and that power will corrupt them. It is your responsibility to both aid and check them."

- _How to Survive the End of the World_ , by Kazuya Kawamoto. Chapter 10: Living with Other People. The rest of the passage was inarticulate ranting about how he never deserved to be arrested, not even for taking bribes.

The funny thing about rumors is that every time you hear one, you get the feeling that you've already heard it. This doesn't just apply to bits of adultery gossip or ghost stores that are little more than fill-in-the-blank games of Mad Libs, such as, "Did you hear that _(name of person) ran off with their _(occupation)? _(exclamation)! How _(adverb) it was of them!" or "The ghost of _(celebrity) haunts the _(noun) in the _(noun), and _(verb ending in s) anyone who _(verb ending in s) it!" This also applies to rumors such as, "Our town is actually a spaceship built by the ancient Mayans," or, "Wearing the emblem of the local high school will protect you from being attacked by a man wearing a paper bag over his head." You've never heard a rumor for the first time.

In the city of Haruhata, the primary rumor was that at night, something lurked the winding streets, abducting the unwary. What exactly it was that was doing the abducting varied with the telling. Elementary school students assumed that it was yet another ploy by their parents to keep them from roaming about after curfew, and generally heard that it was monsters who ate bad children. Junior and senior high school students spread it like a ghost story in hushed voices, and spoke of ghosts, aliens, and demons from hell that wanted aimless revenge, dissection, or souls of the damned, and not always in that order. Adults chatted about serial killers and youkai, beings that generally didn't need a reason for whatever they did.

What gave that rumor such fertile ground was the fact that there was evidence. _Something_ was happening. People were vanishing. The newspapers had plenty of articles that their readers were free to skim over during breakfast, use for pet litterbox lining, or even pin to walls next to maps and bits of colored yarn. While the papers generally had less lurid content than the rumors, hardly anyone contested the skeleton of facts they presented. The cases started around November. Victims ranged from the ages of fifteen to fifty; three in five were male. An average of one person per week went missing, but sometimes it spiked to as many as seven or eight. Many families and roommates of the vanished gave statements about how their _(relative) was a good _(noun), even if _(pronoun) would often go out at night. They all agreed that on the night of their disappearance, their _(relative) had left the house and never came back.

Naoki Kashima, like many civilians, couldn't remember when he first heard about the missing people. Looking back, he felt ashamed that he did nothing, especially when strange murders in the park was the first warning sign of the end of the world.

However, Naoki could pinpoint the moment when he started caring.

It was another frigid January afternoon, according to the internet. Naoki didn't allow himself to feel the cold if he could help it. He'd had the Wadatsumi Magatama in him since October. The Misama Magatama had the drawback of making him languish in the warm dorms and steamy baths, and while the Masakados Magatama protected him from ice magic, it didn't do a thing about mundane cold. The only thing he had to worry about with Wadatsumi was sticking his fingers in a socket or being struck by lightning, and even then it just hurt like hell.

Naoki sat at his desk, clad in a threadbare sweater that he didn't need, eating a freshly made sandwich. It was chicken and lettuce on rye, with a thick layer of mustard spread on the toasted bread. It crunched deliciously between his teeth, the cool layer of chicken melding perfectly with the still-warm bread.

Even though he was enjoying a meal, Naoki's senses were on edge, honed to catch his roommates' footfalls. It wasn't hard for someone used to ambushes to listen for footsteps, especially when the architecture was so convenient. A flight of stone steps led to the main entrance of the dorm, flanked on either side by two wings. Naoki's room was on the second floor of the east wing, its only window facing the steps, giving perfect acoustics for an eavesdropper. Those same qualities made it annoyingly loud when students went out partying on weekends, however.

Scarcely ten minutes before, Naoki had finished swapping his desk for his roommate's. He'd picked the one belonging to Daisuke Higawa partially because he was a jerk, but mostly because Kazuya and Soma would notice. Kazuya hated it when anyone as much nudged a single one of his books out of place, and Soma kept his desk so messy that it would have taken forever to reassemble the mess. Naoki had an excellent memory, good enough to memorize the layouts of entire dungeons, but there were too many pieces to bother with. Daisuke wasn't a very neat person, but his desk had fewer moving parts than Soma's.

Naoki was halfway through his sandwich when the sound of old, expensive boots on stone steps filled his ears. You could tell a lot about a person by their shoes. This pair, for instance, was a pair of walking boots designed to last the wearer a lifetime—or two, if necessary. They were probably ridiculously expensive when they were bought, but the price was negligible compared to the cost of a lifetime of worn-out shoes. It spoke of an owner who never had to worry about buying anything, but worried all the same to stay that way.

The building's electronic lock clicked open. There was about five minutes of silence, allowing for the wearer to change their outdoor shoes into indoor slippers, and then the door in the hallway creaked open. There was a flop, and then a slap, and then another flop, the telltale sign of someone walking on the balls of their feet in slippers too big for them.

The electronic lock to the room opened. "Hi Soma," said Naoki without looking up.

"Hello, Naoki," said Soma Cruz, putting his shoes down on the rack. Soma was very tall and wiry. He was in the parkour club, and he always had a habit of walking and running on the balls of his feet after practice. "How was your day?"

"Good. How was yours?"

"Good." Soma sat down at his desk and opened one of his handheld games, probably tower defense. This was normal for them. From what little they saw of each other, Naoki liked Soma; he kept his mess on his own section of the room, didn't make a lot of noise, and he could intimidate Daisuke into backing down whenever he tried throwing his weight around.

Not ten minutes later, the building's lock clicked open without warning. This time, even with Naoki's strained ears, he could barely make out soft taps on the tiled floors. The dorm lock opened, and in walked Naoki's second roommate, shoes in hand.

His boots were expensive and built to last, like Soma's, but for completely different kinds of terrain. They were thick, heavy wedges of rubber, leather, and metal, designed to crush snow, rocks, and small children underfoot. There were three kinds of people who bought these kinds of shoes. The first were people who used them. The second were people who wanted people to think that they were the kind of people who used them. The third were people who wanted a pair of snow boots and thought that expensive stuff was better.

"Hi, Kazuya," said Naoki.

"Good afternoon, Naoki," said Kazuya Kawamoto. Kazuya looked generally unremarkable. He was about average height, average build, and no visible muscles or paunch, but the way he moved set Naoki's nerves on edge. No one who could walk so quietly in those rubber monstrosities could be normal.

Kazuya immediately sat down at his desk and opened up a sleek laptop that he claimed to have built himself. This too was normal.

Naoki finished his sandwich. He looked around for something to pretend to do while he waited for Daisuke's arrival, and settled upon a textbook. Japanese composition was boring, but he didn't have to pay attention. All he had to do was wait for the sound of… of…

What did Daisuke's shoes sound like, again?

Naoki gave a quick glance at the outdoor shoe rack. Half of the shoes belonged to Daisuke, and those were bought that year. Only one pair was Naoki's, and he'd had that pair since middle school. Daisuke had leather sneakers that made high-pitched bangs, snow boots that made comforting thudding noises, sandals that snapped as he walked… which pair was missing, again? Ah, yes, the fancy pair of black boots that made dramatically loud taps on almost any surface.

Naoki could describe Daisuke's shoes, but what did they _sound_ like?

 _When was the last time I heard them?_

 _When was the last time I saw Daisuke?_

A jolt of adrenaline filled Naoki's veins, as if he had drank one of Kazuya's espresso shots without permission and heard the door open behind him. He hid his face as best as he could from his roommates and checked his laptop for news articles.

 _Come on, come on_ , Naoki thought to himself, as his outdated laptop slowly opened the web page.

Finally, Naoki found the missing persons list he was looking for.

Natsumi Kuroba, age 25, last seen December 24.

Kenji Yamamoto, age 42, last seen January 3.

Daisuke Higawa, age 19, last seen January 13.

Naoki looked at the calendar. January 22. _Daisuke's been gone for over a week, and no one noticed?_ A hot trickle of shame ran down his face. _Soma's always off with his girlfriend, and Kazuya can't be bothered to take his nose out of his computer. If anyone should have noticed, it would be me._

As if moving on autopilot, Naoki shut his laptop, and prepared to leave. He took his wallet out of his pocket, removed every card with his name on it, and pretended to put them in his drawer while he shoved them in the pocket dimension where he kept his dozens of Magatama, hundreds of sundries, and millions of Macca. He then stuffed his mostly empty wallet in his pocket and grabbed his shoes off the rack.

He only had one pair of outdoor shoes, but thanks to Lucifer, he only needed the one; for reasons never quite made clear, Lucifer made everything Naoki wore at the start of the Conception indestructible. His shoes weren't even scuffed by Beelzebub's curse zones, his shorts held together even when slashed with Flauros's sword, and he could clean his underwear by holding it in fire. That wasn't to say his clothes made good armor; other than his shoes, all they protected was his modesty. His clothes didn't rip or tear because they were very elastic; the cloth simply deformed around blades, to the point where you could wrap one of his socks around a cleaver and still chop bone. Naoki guessed that Lucifer fixed his clothes because he was always watching him, and it would be boring to see him run around scavenging for clothes. But he still couldn't figure out why Lucifer pinched his shirt and jacket.

"Going somewhere?" asked Kazuya.

"Getting dinner," lied Naoki. It was already getting dark out.

"Don't forget your jacket."

"Thanks," said Naoki, grabbing a nondescript hoodie. "Bye."

Soma turned to Kazuya. "You do know that was your jacket, right?" he said.

"Eh," shrugged Kazuya. "It's cold out. He needs it more than I do."

X

It was only natural that this serial disappearance case would baffle the police; had they not been baffled, it wouldn't have been a serial case. The police of Haruhata city weren't exactly incompetent; their arrest record was exactly the national average every year (which did get them audited more than a few times). The problem was that the only cases that ever make headlines are the ones that aren't solved, which is why police always look less competent than they really are. In this case, however, even the police knew that they were outmatched, so they called in some experts.

The Agency of Supernatural Investigation, one of Japan's top-secret government organizations, saw a perfectly mundane series of serial murders. However, since their organization's funding was mostly siphoned off of the National Public Safety Commission (with permission), they couldn't refuse to help without a proper excuse. However, the crack team of experts they were expecting were busy with the actual occult cases.

So they sent in the rookies.

"It's standard procedure," said Agent Fireball, the senior agent in charge of Hermes Squad. He was a tall man in his fifties, with graying red hair and calloused hands. He was driving Yoko from the station to the squad's headquarters in his car. "For cases like these, when we're fairly certain that the police can solve it on their own, all we need to do is send some people to pretend to work. Obviously, that's a waste of any half-decent agent's time, so we send the new meat."

"And obviously, something went wrong, or else you wouldn't have hired me," said Yoko. "So, if all of you were just there to take up space, how did you manage to tape a demon?"

Agent Fireball scratched his nose. "I said that's all we _need_ to do, not all we do. We've been running our own investigation. Cases like these are perfect training missions. Since the police will catch the culprits no matter what, and we're rank amateurs, everyone knows that nothing we do will have any impact. The rookies are free to screw up and make mistakes without having to deal with the guilt of failure when a new victim shows up."

"Sounds like those rookies are going to be in for a shock on their first real mission," said Yoko grimly. "Stick them in the middle of nowhere with no safety net. That's how you find a real field agent."

Agent Fireball gave a faint chuckle as he stared at the traffic light. "Oh, I think they'll be fine. You'll see when we get there."

The squad's headquarters, as it turned out, was a single apartment in the same cheap apartment building that housed the agents. "We get almost no funding," explained Agent Fireball as he unlocked the door. "They say it's because we have no real responsibilities, but I say working with nothing is good training." Yoko silently approved.

None of the rookie agents even looked up when the door opened. Most of them were watching the newest _Phoenix Ranger Featherman Cyclone_ episode and griping about the new direction the show was taking. Some were playing games on their phones, others were giggling and gossiping, and one was even picking the pretzels out of a bowl of chips.

Agent Fireball cleared his throat. "Attention!"

The agents turned around, but none of them got up.

"Something happen?" said a short agent.

Agent Fireball sighed. "Weren't you paying attention, Agent Ninja?"

"Uh…"

"Agent Reaper, tell Agent Ninja what's going on."

A blue-haired young man choked on the pretzel. "Uh…"

"Ei-chan, you idiot!" said a blonde young woman. "He told us this yesterday! He's-"

"Agent Dragon, please refrain from using real names," said Agent Fireball curtly. He looked around. "Who here was listening when I gave you the memo?"

The dozen or so agents looked at each other. Only a handful raised their hands.

Agent Fireball sighed. "I'm drinking tonight," he muttered in a low voice, and announced in a carrying voice, "HQ hired this witch to… crap, I mean, HQ hired this _woman_ who uses _magic_. Remember?"

There was a chorus of quiet yeses.

"I'm Yoko Belnades," said Yoko. "Pleased to meet you."

There was a chorus of hellos. A petit young man stood up and shook her hand. "I'm Agent Lily," he said. "It's okay if you forget my name. You'll get it eventually."

Mostly everyone reluctantly got up, shook her hand, and introduced themselves in a blur of names and faces. None of them looked completely well; some walked with limps, others had surgical scars.

"Now that that's in order, it's time to tell our new…comrade what we've been up to," said Agent Fireball. "Any volunteers?"

The agents all looked at each other, but said nothing. Agent Fireball sighed and pointed at Agent Dragon. "Your turn, Agent Dragon."

Agent Dragon turned red. "Uh… Okay, so it's like this. We're-"

One agent with an arm in a cast stood up and pointed at Yoko. "Two months," he growled. "Two months, we've been busting our asses out there, looking for evidence, and when we finally hand some nice, ironclad proof, they send us a _mercenary_?"

Yoko crossed her arms. "Better than nothing, don't you think?" she said calmly.

"Do you have any idea what we've been through?!" yelled the agent.

"Of course not," said Yoko. She was used to this sort of behavior from clients. "That's why I'm asking."

Agent Fireball raised his hands. "All right, calm down, Agent Cowboy-"

"We need backup, damnit, not just one gun for hire! _You_ weren't the one mauled by a werewolf, Fireball!"

"Yes, Cowboy, and you're not the one who had to fight a giant mecha with nothing but a ballpoint pen and a vase of hydrangeas," Agent Lily retorted.

"Why you-"

"Agent Cowboy, Agent Lily, stand down," said Agent Fireball firmly. The two rookies glared daggers at one another, but sat back down. "Ms. Belnades, allow me to explain."

Yoko crossed her arms. "Please do," she said.

Agent Fireball took a chip from the bowl. "We might not have gotten anywhere with our assigned case, but these months have certainly not been wasted," he said. "All of us have gained valuable experience."

Yoko raised an eyebrow. "What kind of experience?"

Agent Wolf gave a mirthless chuckle. "What the boss means is that we're unlucky," she said. "We've been sniffing down every trail _but_ that kidnapper. Last week, we busted a drug smuggling operation. The week before, some rich businessman turned out to be a werewolf. And don't get me started on the King of the Netherworld."

"Normally, we'd earn some credit for irrelevant cases, even if they aren't supernatural," said Agent Fireball. "Except every time, for some stupid reason, we couldn't report any of them."

"The head of CyCo was too rich to touch," said Agent Reaper.

"The English Professor who was a vampire didn't leave a body," added Agent Dragon.

"And the King of the Netherworld threatened to sic his legions of succubi and incubi on us in our sleep," added Agent Lily. When he saw Yoko's look of disgust and horror, he added quickly, "It was a misunderstanding. He didn't hurt anyone; he just wanted to go drinking in a human bar every now and then."

"That demon was the only piece of hard evidence that we were able to scavenge since we got here," said Agent Fireball. Before Yoko could ask, he added, "And no, my word is not enough. This _is_ a government agency, after all; we need to fill out about a dozen forms to declare a closed case. The only thing they can take my word for is their test scores."

Yoko crossed her arms. She took in the wounds and bandages on the squad, but the results were inconclusive. "How do I know that you're not trying to make yourselves look better to-"

DING-DONG!

"Pizza delivery!" said someone at the door.

At this, every listless face in the room lit up like Roman candles. Agent Lily practically jumped out of his seat to answer the door.

"Hi guys!" said the pimply teenager carrying a large stack of boxes. The squad had clearly gone all out; there wasn't just pizza boxes, but fried chicken, sodas, and some of those molten chocolate cakes. The teenager stretched and cracked his back after depositing his load onto Agent Lily. "You guys get quarter price for everything," he said. "Least we could do for saving us from the rampaging space rhino; we would make it on the house, but you know we have to make a living, too…"

"Thank you, Kimura," said Agent Fireball, who paid with cash.

Agent Cowboy gave Yoko a smug grin. "Believe us now?"

"How do I know that you didn't bribe him?" retorted Yoko.

Agent Cowboy's grin melted. "Listen, you condescending witch, we were doing just fine before you came waltzing along. We've taken down dozens of monsters since we started. We don't need an outsider's help taking down this demon; we must have—what's so funny?"

Yoko hadn't realized that she was smirking. "You don't get it, do you?" she said. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for a top-secret government agency to hire a mercenary?" When there was no response, she explained, "You're entrusting me with some delicate information, so you start with a background check, which can take months depending on the efficiency of your bureaucracy. It's also almost impossible to find reliable information in the occult business, so you're going to have to sift through a lot of slag. Then you need to take steps to ensure my silence, which I am not at liberty to explain. Then, and only then, can you pay me, and explain how and why there's a hole in the budget the size of my fee, which I will not divulge. You want to know why they bothered with me?"

Agent Lily raised his hand. "Is it because the time, money, and effort put into your hiring is still less than that of a real agent, and so you're disposable?"

Yoko shrugged. "Close enough. It's because no one ever wants to deal with what I was sent to deal with." Yoko took in a deep breath.

"I'm not here to fight a demon. I'm here to fight a demon _summoner_."

X

Haruhata City wasn't a metropolis on Tokyo's scale, but it was large enough to have its own population of punks, hookers, Yakuza, delinquents, pimps, gangsters, foreign mafia members, and people who stayed out too late at night. Students at the University were given maps that ranked the districts by danger level, ostensibly to keep them out of trouble, but mostly as an overt way of showing them where the night life was.

Naoki, as a rule, tried to avoid such places. Back when he was a poor high school student on scholarship, he was careful to stay out of Tokyo's shadier spots for fear of being mugged and losing his dinner money. Now, as a poor college student on scholarship, he was careful not to stray into the seedy regions of the city for fear of being mugged and revealing his monstrous strength.

Daisuke, however, embraced the back alleys and abandoned warehouses that dotted Haruhata's landscape. Every night, he was out on the town, getting into fights and running from the cops. He'd disappear for days at a time, crashing at a friend's house or recovering at the hospital, then turn up like nothing had happened. And he would always brag about his many victories over the other punks in the city, to the point where Naoki was tempted to challenge him to a fistfight to shut him up.

But this was the first time he'd been gone for so long without telling anyone. Naoki might not have liked Daisuke, but ignoring his disappearance would haunt him with guilt for the rest of his life, just like-

 _Nostopdon'tthinkaboutthem,notyourfault, theywerewrong, shekilledinnocents, hekilledyourfriend, they'realive, they'realive_ -

But I killed them.

 _They'realivethey'realivethey'realivethey're_ -

There was a noise like two graham crackers being rubbed together, and Naoki realized that he had been grinding his fist against a brick wall. He gingerly removed it, allowing red dust to spill out of the inch-deep indent.

"Stop it," he muttered to himself. "It's in the past."

Naoki's first stop was a supermarket, for a baseball cap, a compact mirror, and the smallest bottle of black paint he could find. Once he was out of sight, he put on the cap and marked his face with the paint. Naoki wasn't an expert in disguise or subterfuge (his primary method of infiltration was, after all, regularly saying, "All hail Nihilo/Mantra," "Those Mantra/Nihilo are very stupid/cowardly/dishonorable/weak, wouldn't you agree?" and "Yay for loneliness!"), but he read books, and one plausible-sounding book about a conman-turned-mailman stated that when you have one very distinguishing feature, like gigantic ears or a large rubber nose, the mark you're conning will only remember that detail. Naoki had considered inking a dragon or tiger, but realized that he didn't have the artistic ability, and instead settled for tracing his currently-invisible demonic tattoos.

Confident that no one would recognize him, he stalked off into the streets.

It didn't take long for him to find a gang of punks hanging around. They were around his age, and all of them wore matching yellow scarves over their mouths. One swung her baseball bat menacingly as he approached.

"Good evening," said the leader in an intimidating growl. She looked several years older than Naoki. "What's it going to be then, eh?"

"I'm looking for a guy," said Naoki in his negotiation voice. "Daisuke Higawa. You know him?"

"Never heard of him in my life," said the leader smoothly.

"Then I'll just have to kick your ass until you tell me."

The words were out before Naoki could stop himself. Inwardly, he cursed. He was so used to negotiating with demons that he almost forgot how to talk to normal people. Threats worked like a charm with demons, who respected aggression and power. And since they made good on their threats more often than not, they could read the difference between bluff, bluster, and danger. Humans just saw a skinny, uppity punk who'd watched too many movies. Same with bribery; demons happily sold their lives and rights for chicken feed, but humans would just look at you funny. At least, Soma had when Naoki tried to get out of trash duty in exchange for a chocolate bar, two ginger teabags, and a pretty rock he found on the side of the road (the fact that he accepted was beside the point).

The delinquents bristled. "Lookin' for a fight, are ya?" said one, swinging her bat in what she thought was a menacing manner. "Well, if it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll—GET!"

She charged at Naoki, telegraphing a horizontal swing. Naoki bit back his reflexive focus-dodge-punch routine, and embraced the challenge of fighting nonlethally. The style was slow, clumsy, unpracticed, and impractical for anyone who couldn't shrug off iron bars, but no one could be seriously injured.

He deflected the bat at an angle, knocking its owner off balance. A soft push to her knee was all it took to knock her on her butt. The second attacker charged at him, telegraphing his downward swing; Naoki slid forward and stopped an arm's length away. The punk couldn't stop in time and his momentum carried him stumbling into Naoki's open chest. Naoki grabbed him with both arms and spun around lightly, then pushed him gently into the third punk, who was smart enough to attack while his back was turned, but not enough to hide her footsteps.

"You can't defeat me," said Naoki. "Now will you tell me?"

"You haven't fought all of us," said the leader, standing up, and signaling her flunkies to stand down. "You're no ordinary kid; that's clear enough," she said to Naoki. "Let's see how you handle this!"

The leader charged at Naoki with her bat, but that was a feint; Naoki tried blocking her with his body again, but she moved back and struck his shoulder. He grabbed the bat with his other hand with lightning speed and yanked away, but met no resistance.

There was a bang and a clatter as the bat hit the wall. It took a moment for Naoki to process the fact that the leader was stupid enough to let go of her weapon in the middle of a fight. His eyes flitted away from his opponent for a fraction of a second, which was a mistake. The leader took his moment of confusion and used it to bury her heeled boot in his solar plexus.

Before he could stop himself, Naoki countered with a punch. He tried to pull back and soften the blow into a push, but all that did was send the leader flying into the opposite wall instead of ripping a hole in her ribcage.

"Oh, crap," Naoki said under his breath. He froze like a deer in headlights. "I…I'm so sorr-"

There was a soft, leathery sound below him, and Naoki's ankle felt tighter than usual.

CRACK!

WHAM!

Naoki's left foot shot into the air like a startled sparrow, and the back of his head slammed against the pavement. It didn't hurt; knocking him over was mostly a matter of leverage and weight instead of strength. Before his legs hit the ground, something coiled around his neck. The leader limped over to him, and planted her foot ominously over his balls. In her right hand was a wooden dowel connected to a leather rope; it took Naoki a moment to realize that she was garroting him with a jump rope. "Give up?" she growled. [1]

It would have been easy for Naoki to break free. You could crush boulders against his neck and balls (a fact that he had learned after a particularly traumatizing day when he tripped while jumping into the tunnel between the Third and Fourth Kalpa and fell spinning the whole way), and this girl was a lot lighter than the Oni who tried to dogpile him.

But he really had nothing to gain from winning this fight. "Fine," he pretended to groan. "You win. Take whatever you want. All I need is my underwear, my shoes, and my socks." Then he paused. "Oh, and this jacket isn't mine. I need to return it."

The leader removed her foot. "Sit up; I can't take this thing off when your head's on the ground." Naoki obeyed, and the leader gently uncoiled the jump rope. He rubbed his neck.

"Now, take off your clothes, or we take them off for you." Without breaking eye contact, the leader wrote something down on a piece of paper, and handed it to the worst fighter, along with a wad of bills. "Coffee run. The closest shop is that way."

Naoki unzipped his jacket and shrugged it off, pretending to shiver at random intervals. He removed one item of clothing at a time and handed it to the eager flunkies. "I'll take off my shoes and underwear, but you can't keep them," he said.

"What makes you think you can make us?" growled a flunky, as if Naoki hadn't left her bruised on the ground.

"You can keep your clothes once we're done with them," said the leader. "And please don't take off your underwear. No one is as sexy as they think they are when they're naked."

One punk grinned when she found Naoki's wallet inside his jacket's inside pocket—until she saw what was in it. "Just 1864 yen?!"

"I'm a starving student; that's like three or four cheap meals for me," said Naoki, mentally patting himself on the back for stowing his money away beforehand.

"Cough up more," said the leader.

"I can't," said Naoki.

"Then how about I hit you more until you give us something you don't have?" said the leader in a dry voice.

There was a moment of silence. "…I can take a hint," grumbled Naoki. "You don't know the guy I'm looking for, and threatening you was a waste of time."

The leader nodded and crossed her arms. "What made you think that we had any idea who this… Daisuke Higawa was?"

Naoki shrugged. "He spent all his free time picking fights in the shady side of town. I figured that he'd be infamous by now."

"And naturally, the best course of action was to walk up to a group of complete strangers and pick a fight?" said the leader icily.

"…In my defense, it worked out pretty well the last time I tried it," Naoki said to himself. In retrospect, it probably only worked for Ms. Takao since she was one of five humans (five with an error margin of one; Naoki and Hijiri both identified as human but had nonhuman bodies, so there were four humans if you didn't believe that it was your mentality that made you human, six if you did, and five if you didn't believe but didn't know Hijiri was actually a Manikin) in the entire Vortex World, infamous enough to have her own nickname, and was associated with the leader of a major faction.

The leader put her palm to her forehead and sighed. "What do you think this is, a movie? Did you really think that just because you know how to fight, you could just pick one punk-looking chelloveck off the street, and they'd take you straight to the nearest mob boss?! Get your bleedin' rassoodock out of the sinny, you nadmenny malchick!"

Naoki was fluent in about a dozen demonic languages, including the weird ones like Middle Avio-Raptor and Archaic Western Haunt, but he'd never heard anything like that. "…What?"

"Get your head out of the theater, you arrogant boy," repeated the leader scornfully.

"In what language?"

"Don't you know that's how all the punks in Tokyo talk?" said one of the lackeys.

"But I'm from Tokyo," said Naoki.

The lackey rolled his eyes. "Obviously, you're not a punk."

Naoki decided that it would be wisest not to mention that he had been arrested once, gained the respect of a gigantic gang of muscle-brained killers by beating a few of them to death with his bare hands, gave the metaphorical middle finger to everyone who tried to impose their ideals upon him by crushing their dreams underfoot, and had more tattoos than the average Yakuza member.

The leader waved off the question. "Never mind that," she said in a teacher's voice of forced patience. "The 'underground,'" (the leader used finger quotes), "isn't some small, close-knit community. We're just a small-time shaika, not runners for one of the big syndicates. I don't know a single member of the Yakuza, we don't associate with rapists or murderers, and most of us don't use our full names. Put it this way; do you know every single person in your school by name?"

"…You have a point."

The worst fighter came back from the coffee run and handed everyone their drinks. To Naoki's surprise, he gave him a small black coffee. "Cheapest hot thing on the menu," he said without looking at him.

"Thank you," said Naoki, glad that he chose the lightning weakness instead of fire. The coffee tasted terrible and did nothing for him, but it was a sweet gesture, more than what his physics professor did last week when she demonstrated how electrical conductivity varied with temperature by dragging the entire class outside in the snow.

"Don't thank me, thank her."

"Thank you," Naoki said to the leader.

"Don't thank me; you're the one paying for it," said the leader, sipping something that smelled like chocolate. She handed him his shirt. "You can have your clothes back now. Get out of here."

Naoki dressed himself quickly and walked away in hopes of finding some more receptive punks. He could hear the lackeys engaging in the age-old ritual of laughing away intense fear or trauma.

"What a poogly bum, am I right?" said one.

"The boss set him right and proper, didn't she?" said another.

"I thought you were done for, and then—BAM! Like stepping on a banana. Hope his rot bleeds out."

"He fought kind of weird, don't you think?" said the second. "Like he was in a kung fu movie or something."

"He's strong," said the leader grimly. She rubbed her back. "Strong enough to punch me into a wall, and he _pays_ us to go away? I've only known one person who would do that."

There was a long pause.

"That's where you give us a name," said the second one.

"Yeah, and a long monologue about how that person shaped your life and killed your parents, and now you're hunting for them," said the third one.

"You know very well that P and M are alive," said the leader curtly. "And I don't plan on sharing my soliloquies."

Everyone sipped their drinks.

"…Boss?" said the first one.

"Yes, Sei?"

"Why don't you tell anyone your name?"

"Remember why I told you to never reveal your last names?" said the leader.

"Because… if anyone wants revenge, they can just use the phone book and attack us or our families?" said Sei slowly.

The leader nodded. "I knew to only use my first name back when I led a gang in Tokyo. The cops were so scared of me that they arrested every single person who shared my name, even little girls and old women."

"…Really?"

"Of course not. You'd see something about that in the news."

For the rest of the night, Naoki searched. He received no answers, and only slightly more friendly words, one from a tall foreign man in glasses looking for the station, another from another foreigner with a nice goatee and a long duster looking for the university, and the last from a very lost middle school girl who was crying in a back alley.

By the time he slumped into bed, he was no closer to discovering Daisuke's whereabouts. In fact, he had even more questions than before.

"I've battled demons and gods. I faced nine incarnations of death, and conquered every one of them. I've crushed the Lord of the Flies and the Voice of God beneath my feet, and bound them to my service. I'm the Demi-Fiend, and my power is far beyond the limits of humans."

"So how the hell did that girl get the jump on me?"

X

"I'm here to fight a demon _summoner_."

Had Yoko made that announcement to a more experienced group, there would have been silence. Jaws would have hung open, pencils would have been dropped, and everyone would have stared at her in horror.

Instead, Agent Cowboy just said, "So what?" and there was a murmur of agreement.

"She's right," said Agent Fireball gravely. Every agent stopped to listen. "Demon summoners are one of the worst enemies we can face. They're not as strong as ghouls or witches, and they don't spread like vampirism or lycanthropy, but they're…" Agent Fireball trailed off, and said in a more normal voice, "You know how in almost every video game, there's an extremely frustrating boss that's frustrating not because it's strong or has a ton of HP, but because it has an annoying gimmick? Like… do kids these days still play _Metal Gear Solid_?"

There were a few murmurs of yes. "Fighting a demon summoner is like fighting The End."

Gasps and shocked mutters filled the room. Less than half of the rookies understood, but those who did more than made up for the slack. Yoko recalled her grandfather telling her about a legendary monster controlled by one of Dracula's human servants, but that didn't seem relevant.

"Wait, so you're saying that fighting demon summoners is like fighting death?" said Agent Reaper.

Agent Fireball shook his head. "I could have phrased that better," he admitted. "The End is the name of an infamously difficult boss from _Metal Gear Solid 3_. His gimmick is that he's a sniper who behaves like a real sniper. He runs, hides, and shoots when you least expect it, and you have to beat him at his own game by sneaking up on him. The fight with him can take days."

"Or you can just skip the clock two weeks," Agent Ninja muttered to Agent Dragon.

"They made _three_ of those games?" said a shocked Agent Reaper.

"So if a demon summoner is an annoying gimmick boss, then what's their gimmick?" asked Agent Lily, raising his hand. "What makes them so terrible?"

"Good question," said Agent Fireball. "Summoners can operate remotely. They don't need to by physically present to command their demons, so chasing their demons gets us nowhere. In fact, they don't even need to be in the same town. Much like a sniper, really. We call them Queen Bees."

Agent Reaper sputtered. "Demon summoners are _cheerleaders_?!"

"Of course not," said Yoko. "I mean, the last one I dealt with turned out to be captain of the cheer squad when she was in high school, but that's not important right now." Yoko tried imagining Celia Fortner with pom-poms doing backflips, but gave up.

The rookies looked at one another. "So, uh…"

"Why Queen Bee?" said Agent Fireball. "Bees have a hive system. The queen of the hive poops out eggs all day, and her worker children do all the work. Similarly, summoners don't need to work as long as they can conjure up more minions."

Agent Cowboy scoffed. "So, they're a bunch of shut-ins? That doesn't seem too-"

"You think it's just robbing supermarkets and making bowls out of frozen soup?" snapped Yoko. "You need sacrifices to summon demons. Every time you make a demon scrub your toilet or make you a sandwich, someone dies. That's why demon summoning is one of the five explicitly illegal schools of magic."

 _Thank God for that loophole_ , Yoko added to herself. Technically, Soma's Power of Dominance was a form of summoning, as it bound demons to his service. If Soma's ability was ever leaked to the Agency, Arikado was planning to plead that he didn't break any laws if murder anyone (they already agreed to credit/blame Julius for the deaths of Graham and Dmitrii). If that didn't stick, they were hoping that he'd be punished leniently since he didn't gain the power willingly.

"That's not even getting into what someone could do with that kind of power," Yoko added. "Want to know why no one wants to fight one? Once a summoner finds out that they're being hunted, they can hunt us back. It's no longer a game of cat and mouse; it's a game of cat and cat. And they have the advantage. Summoners have an almost inexhaustible army of tireless soldiers, spies, thieves, and assassins. If we kill one of them, there's a dozen out there to replace it, all fueled by human lives. Fighting their demons gets us nothing but blood on our hands."

There was a dead silence. Even Agent Cowboy looked scared.

"All right, you've convinced us," said a frightened looking Agent Ninja. "But… how do you know they can do that?"

That was her family's fault. Yoko had spent many an evening as a child on her grandmother's knee, hearing stories about the hidden history of the world. When she lost interest around junior high, her family assigned her extra homework and holiday essays. Her family never neglected to educate her about Dracula's hordes and the trail of destruction he laid across Europe (and how their ancestors fought heroically against them). But thanks to them, she knew the tale of Hector Laforeze.

Technically, Hector wasn't a summoner; he was a Devil Forgemaster, which was basically the same thing, except with levels in blacksmithing in addition to black magic. Rather than summoning monsters, he created them. But the principle was the same.

Of the five people who killed Dracula in the fifteenth century, only Hector and Alucard didn't pass their skills on to their descendants; Alucard because he had no children, and Hector because he deemed his powers too dangerous. According to Grant's diary, Hector had said that his abilities had the most potential for abuse. If one of his students wanted to ransack a village, they could just send a single demon to terrorize it without putting themselves in harm's way; someone with Trevor's techniques, Grant's skills, or even Sypha or Alucard's magic would have to risk their lives and reputations. Hector told Grant that if any student of his teachings used Devil Forging for evil, he'd never forgive himself.

On the other hand, he did pass down his skill in forging magical weapons. Apparently, he didn't mind if his students robbed someone with one of those. The only thing he objected to was riskless evil.

"Experience," said Yoko succinctly.

"Fortunately, they're vanishingly rare," continued Agent Fireball. "Most summoners are murdered by the very demons they conjure. That's enough to put off any sane person, and the rest don't often survive past their first summoning. Unfortunately, the high turnover rate just leaves the smartest and the most powerful." [2]

"And HQ thinks that a demon summoner's behind the kidnappings?" said Agent Hurricane.

"Not necessarily," said Yoko. "Although, it would make sense. Under most circumstances, you need human sacrifices to summon demons, and you can use demons to abduct people for sacrifices."

"Like a reverse Catch-22?" said Agent Dragon.

"… Sure," said Yoko.

Agent Fireball shuddered. "God knows what that summoner is doing. They could be anywhere, plotting…evil."

X

A few days after Yoko announced her presence, Soma and Mina met for dinner in the basement. They sat next to each other on an old couch, eating rice bowls with pork and vegetables.

"So… how's premed?" asked Soma.

"Good," said Mina. "How's prelaw?"

"Good," said Soma.

There was a pause as the author realized that they know nothing about either of those fields outside of movies.

"Okay, I know you're still worried about what Yoko's doing, so let's cut to the chase and talk about that," said Mina, taking out a notebook. "I've made a list of all the weird cases around here. I've been too busy for details, but… you know, premed."

"Mina, you're a godsend," said Soma.

"The obvious one is the disappearances, but that's probably not it, since it's been in the papers for over two months," said Mina.

"What disappearances?" said Soma.

From the sea of his souls, there was a long-suffering sigh from one of the Stolas, the wise owl demon. _The disappearances thou saw in the paper of news, Master?_ Stolas said in what Soma thought of as his 'Alfred' voice. Soma let his souls call him whatever they wanted as long as it was distinct, and most of them called him things like 'Soma,' 'Cruz,' 'Kid,' 'Boss,' 'Leader,' or even 'Sugarcakes' or 'Jerkface.' Stolas was one of the few who referred to him as Master, with a capital M. Soma didn't like being called Master, because it made him feel like a slaveowner (which he was), but it made them feel comfortable for some reason. Soma had asked them to change it, but then realized it was hypocritical of him. _Thou broke thine fast with porridge and gingerroot tea, whilst thou read books of the chemical sciences?_ Stolas added helpfully. _Twas one fortnight ago, two days hence?_

"Oh, right… those disappearances," said Soma.

Mina gave him a funny look. "I didn't say anything."

"Never mind; just talking to a soul."

Mina shrugged. "Anyway, the one I'm leaning towards is the blood bank robbery. According to _Ayakashi Monthly_ , it's vampires."

"I doubt it," said Soma. "I mean, I'm not saying it wasn't vampires; who else would rob a blood bank? But I can't see Yoko being hired for a case like that. Vampires prefer live prey. If they're forced to stoop to dead blood, they're either pacifists or too weak to hunt."

"But if they were weak and desperate back then, they might not be anymore," said Mina.

"True," said Soma. "So that's a maybe."

Mina made a star mark next to that bullet point. "Iron golem sightings in cities?"

"Too vague to confirm or deny," said Soma.

Mina made another mark. "Someone's been setting weird fires at banks, and robbing them before the fire brigade gets there."

"What's so weird about that?" said Soma.

"No fuel, no salvaged equipment, nothing on the security tapes. Just spontaneous combustion."

"Probably supernatural then," said Soma. "But no way of knowing if that's Yoko's case."

"I guess not," said Mina making another mark.

By then, they had finished their dinner. After checking the halls and making sure that no one was coming, Soma took out a pair of wooden skewers, a bag of marshmallows, a bar of chocolate, and a box of graham crackers.

"Now's a good time for dessert?" he suggested.

"When isn't?" said Mina.

 _Ukoback, get ready_ , Soma said to the little flame devils.

 _Aye-aye, boss!_

To a casual observer, Soma appeared more skilled in magic than Yoko, since Soma had dozens of different spells and Yoko had less than ten. But both Soma and Yoko agreed that Soma was cheating.

The Power of Dominance technically didn't allow Soma to use magic; he always had the potential. While it was technically true that, say, the Flame Demon soul gave him the power to shoot fireballs, it was still hypothetically possible for Soma to cast that magic without that soul. He'd just have to learn it like everyone else.

Casting a spell normally required the user to focus on everything they were going to do, in very specific terms. When Yoko cast her icicle spell, she didn't just think 'make five icicles and launch them;' she had to condense water from the air, gather it into the shape of spikes, freeze them by removing the heat, divert the heat to a safe distance, sharpen the icicles into points, etc.

Soma's souls streamlined the process by doing the grunt work for him. All Soma had to do was warn the souls in advance and focus his power on the general idea of what he wanted to do. His souls did the rest.

Soma held out his hand. A tiny flame formed at his palm, and hung in midair where he placed it.

"One of your better party tricks, I think," said Mina, spearing a marshmallow and holding it over the little flame.

"What about eating lit candles?" said Soma.

"Anyone can do that," said Mina.

"Pretending to be a piñata and making American pennies appear when you hit me?" said Soma.

"Too hard to watch," said Mina.

"… Entering mirrors and freaking out people by pretending to be a ghost?" said Soma.

"That's… not a party trick," said Mina, removing the marshmallow from the flame and rubbing it onto a graham cracker.

"Okay, how about making curry appear whenever I want?" said Soma.

Mina licked the stake with relish. "I still like this one better. Anyways…" she opened her list with one hand. "I also found a massive conspiracy linking… a former Foreign Minister, the current Defense Minister, the four Archangels, the American Ambassador to Japan, the SEBEC corporation, a secret task force run by the Kirijo Corporation, the Chief Technical Director of the Cybers Corporation, the Chief Technical Director of Karma Research Incorporated, a general in the JDSF, a school principal, two teachers, Mayan aliens, an escaped mental patient, at least three different cults, and… the Last Battalion?" [3]

"…They're really reaching on this one," said Soma, rekindling the flame.

"I didn't think so, either," said Mina, turning the page.

"Even if it was real, the government would never send a mercenary," said Soma. "If it implicates government officials and the military, it's best to keep that on the inside."

Mina left that unmarked. "How about a cult called the Brotherhood of Beelzebub?"

Soma groaned. "Not another cult…"

"Maybe this one won't try to kidnap you and try to resurrect Dracula," said Mina with shaky optimism. "I mean, how many people know that you're his reincarnation?"

Soma shrugged. "According to Arikado, it's a common rumor in the supernatural community, but there's so much misinformation that it's just as likely that it was you, Hammer, or Graham. The Belmonts and Belnades 'debunked' my involvement; the official stance is that I'm an innocent bystander and Julius killed Graham."

"Good," said Mina, looking relieved. "Apparently, it's more of a men's drinking club than a cult, but it's still possible that they could pull something off by accident." She made another mark. "Someone robbed a crematorium."

"Okay, that's just disgusting," growled Soma. In a burst of white-hot light, the hanging flame tripled in intensity. "It's one thing to… wait, did they steal money, ashes, or dead bodies?" he added in a normal voice. The flame returned to normal.

"Ashes," clarified Mina.

"It's one thing to rob a blood bank, but ashes?" continued Soma in that same growl. The flame once again exploded with white-hot light. "That's the last thing you leave your family after you die. It's not even worth any money; all you're doing is desecrating the dead and trampling over the grieving family. What kind of a sick person would do that?"

"Isn't it worse to steal someone's organs?" said Mina.

"Well, that's bad, too, but at you're saving someone's life with those," said Soma, deflated, the hanging fire reflecting his emotions. "And I guess it's more out of greed then sadism; robbing the dead for the money isn't as bad as doing it for no reason."

Mina made a mark. "Sightings of a ghost in a hotel?"

"…We really have no way of knowing for sure which case she's after," said Soma. "For all we know, there could be a press ban, and it might not even be in the papers at all."

Mina sighed. "I guess not. Yoko didn't give us any leads."

"This is a waste of time," said Soma, standing up and putting out the fire. "Let's go ask Hammer. He has actual underground contacts."

Mina glared at him. "You know, I spent two hours putting this list together," she said in a hard voice. "The least you could do is sit down and listen."

"Okay," said a cowed Soma, sitting down and rekindling the flame with a wave of his hand.

Mina turned the page. "A wealthy and respected member of the community harassed by a flying green demon that shot icicles at it?"

Soma barely heard Mina. A noise like crackling fire filled his ears, and a flash of orange light tinted his surroundings. His souls panicked.

 _Master-_

 _Sugarcakes, you'd better-_

 _There's something-_

 _Boss, look out-_

 _Sir, I implore you-_

 _BEHIND YOU._

Soma stood up and looked behind the couch, and his heart rate exploded. Kazuya Kawamoto was kneeling on the ground, lovingly scratching the mane of a large blue lion with a snake's tail. The lion's snake tail wagged like a dog's. "Who's a good doggie, yes you are, yes you are…"

Mina would have made a break for it. As much as she didn't want Soma to be hurt, he could handle himself a lot better than she could. Then she realized that for all she knew, there could be another demon lurking in the hallway, and she didn't have any means of defending herself. The safest place was with her superpowered not-boyfriend. Not for the last time, she cursed her uselessness.

Soma would have taken the demon by surprise. All the conditioning he'd experienced in Castlevania and Celia's castle pointed to killing monsters; they had a habit of trying to murder him if he ran. Normally, taking the first strike wasn't always the best idea; dodging and memorizing patterns was a much better plan. But Mina, a normal person without his experience or athleticism, was right next to him, and he would never forgive himself if he dodged and she was hit.

Alas, Soma's shadow had fallen over Kazuya's eyes, revealing their presence.

Kazuya looked up. His eyes roamed from the hanging flame, to Mina, to Soma. "Oh, no, don't mind me," said Kazuya sardonically, the bliss of love and pride flashing into surprise, and then hardening into a mask of stone. "Please, carry o-"

Unfortunately, Kazuya never got to finish that sentence, because Soma threw a plate of curry at his face.

TO BE CONTINUED!

How will our heroes react to this shocking revelation? Will Yoko and the agency find Kazuya? And who is this mysterious but attractive girl who can somehow beat up one of the strongest characters in the entire multiverse? Find out at least one of these things on the next chapter of A Game of Cat and Cat!

[1] The leader vs. the Demi-Fiend. There is a legitimate reason for why a nobody can stand up against the Demi-Fiend, and I'm not just trying to give my Mary Sue a 'powerful' introduction by Worfing one of the strongest people in SMT.

[2] Rare summoners: Yoko and Agent Fireball don't know about the Kuzunoha family of demon summoners.

[3] The conspiracy: All of these are references to SMT games. I considered adding the Conspiracy of Persona 5, but I decided that they'd have been exposed by a reputable paper, and it would be redundant to report them.

Originally, the story took place in Sumaru City. I wanted to use that because I was familiar with it, and I could easily find locations for the characters to run around.

The problem with Sumaru City was that too many competent people lived there. The police only brought in the Agency of Supernatural Investigation because they know supernatural stuff is out of their league; Katsuya Suou the police sergeant has taken supernatural cases before, and he has magic powers himself. Even if the police went ahead and called in the Agency without his input, there's also the Kuzunoha detective agency, Baofu and Ulala the people-finder team, etc.

Persona 2 will have an impact on this story. I can't say how or when yet. When the culprits are revealed, I will write an omake for what would happen if the story took place in Sumaru City.

OMAKE: One Question

The top floor of the Obelisk was like a clay oven. It was, after all, the closest place in the Vortex World to the false sun of Kagutsuchi, but still Naoki shivered. This was not surprising. Demonic possession is never a pretty sight, especially when the face of your homeroom teacher turns into something like the unholy spawn of a brain scan chart and an inkblot test.

The tip of Naoki's horn tickled, warning him that someone else was in the room. He turned around and saw _them_.

The two people responsible for his transformation, the little blonde boy and the old woman, stood right there, as if dressed for the funeral of everyone in the world. "Oh my," said the old woman in a tone that sounded more like she was reluctantly scolding an errant grandchild for eating out of the cookie jar before supper. "It appears that my little master has agreed to answer a single one of your questions."

Naoki's eyes widened. _Let's see, I don't really know what's going on—what the hell was Hikawa doing? Why am I a demon? Why does Isamu hate me now? Is there a bathroom in this plac—no, no, not that one!_

"Lakshmi, quick, which question should I ask?!" said Naoki suddenly.

Lakshmi shrugged. "If you want wisdom, that's more of Sarasvati's schtick. I say you should ask where your teacher went, but that's just me."

"Odin, you're wise and only have one eye, say something!" said Naoki.

"Secret of power," rumbled Odin.

"…Hell Biker?"

"How to stop my baby from stalling all the time," said the skeleton motorcyclist, caressing his precious, precious bike.

"Loa?"

"Where to find some rum. Or chocolate," said the spirit in a skull.

Before Naoki could ask the opinion of Onkot or Parvati, the old woman cleared her throat.

"The question has already been determined," she announced.

Naoki shivered, barely allowing his hopes to rise…

"You have wondered why you woke up without your shirt or jacket," said the old woman. "My little master likes your abs and wishes to continue staring at them."

Before Naoki could decide whether or not that was a compliment, the duo vanished.


	3. Chapter 3: Halloween Special

I guess it's weird to have a Halloween chapter with only two regular chapters, but it's serendipitous. It's one of those filler chapters that introduce things that are important later.

Here's to the next season of Castlevania! Yay, Leon cameos! I like how they explained things like where their names are from (Belmont is French, Trevor is a form of the Celtic Trefor), and how Dracula expected to survive in a world without humans. The bit where Sypha makes a giant pillar of ice to get out of the vaults and then throws it away because it would melt and destroy all the books was a great addition; I was thinking that the whole time, and it's a nice touch of realism.

I always found it interesting how after the original Megaten Duology, there's almost no justification for the human party members learning magic. Yumiko in the first game is Izanami's reincarnation. The Witch and the Friend of the second game were taught by Pazuzu. Both times, magic is special. Then you have the first two Shin Megami Tensei games, where it seems like every human except for Kazuya and Aleph can sling spells around without any explanation.

This chapter is based off of Jack Bros., the first Megaten game to be released in English.

As timeline context, Aria of Sorrow takes place in September 2nd, 2035, in canon. _Dawn of Sorrow_ in my story takes place in December of 2036, and this fanfiction begins in January 2037.

Jack's Halloween

Unless something extraordinary disrupts the balance between the worlds, it is difficult for a human or demon to cross between worlds. Under rare circumstances, however, some of the barriers between worlds may be lifted, allowing easy passage.

Halloween is one of those exceptions. For one night a year, demons may walk alongside humans, to play pranks or to just play. Fairies in particular love this holiday, as fairies love humans.

For, Jack Frost, Pyro Jack, and Ripper Jack, Halloween was the best night of the year.

Sunday, October 31, 2032

"Trick or Tr-hee-t!" said the little trio in unison.

"Jack Frost?" said Yoko Belnades, holding a large bowl of candy. "Pyro Jack? Ripper Jack? It's been so long! It's good to see you again!"

"Yo-ho-ko, you're so big!" said Jack Frost. "I thought we just played together a few decades ago, ho!"

"Humans don't live as long as demons, Jack Frost," said Yoko patiently, giving them each a large chocolate bar. "One decade is about an eighth of our lifespan."

"He-oh…" said Pyro Jack sadly. "Why?"

"That's one of those big philosophical questions that people have been asking themselves since humans could think," said Yoko. The Jack brothers were a bit like children; difficult concepts confused them. You had to break things down into small pieces.

"So what's the answer?" said Ripper Jack curiously.

"We still don't know," said Yoko.

"After all this time?" said Ripper Jack.

"We're just not very good at agreeing on the answer," said Yoko.

Pyro Jack looked sad, and then brightened up. Literally; his lantern flared up three times its normal brightness. "He-how about you come trick-or-treating with us, ho?" he said.

Yoko shook her head. "Sorry, I can't. I'm the one handing out candy now, you see. My family's depending on me."

"Leave them!" said Ripper Jack. "Have fun with us! Kids eat too much candy these days, anyways."

"No, really, I can't," said Yoko. "Demons worse than you three go out and hurt humans every Halloween. Most of my family's out fighting them, and I have to stay home to protect my little cousins."

"He-oh," said Pyro Jack.

"But," said Yoko, brightening up. "If you come by in an hour or so, I'll have some special treats for you."

"Hee-ho-ho-ho!" yelled Jack Frost. "Thank you, Yo-ho-ko!"

The trio of little demons scurried off into the night.

"…You're the only people in the world who can get away with calling me a ho, you know that?" Yoko said when they were far out of earshot.

"What's that, cuz?" said her younger cousin, emerging from the bathroom.

"Good timing, Kaitou," said Yoko, putting down the bowl. "Mind holding down the fort for a bit? I'm making dessert."

X

"Hee-ho!" said Jack Frost, drenching his shaved ice in strawberry syrup. "This is great! Thank you, Yo-ho-ko!"

Kaitou stared at Yoko. "Since when were you friends with demons?"

"Since I was seven," said Yoko. "Spiriting away. Grandma was furious. That's where we got that flayed orc skin hung up in the living room, remember?"

"I thought that was a gift from Auntie Yuka, after she went on vacation in England."

"No, that's the goblin skin in the parlor. Completely different."

"How's this so wet on the inside, ho?" said Pyro Jack, poking his lava cake.

"It's batter," explained Yoko. "The outside shell is cooked, but the inside is slower than-"

"These entrails are delicious!" said Ripper Jack.

Yoko and Kaitou stared at one another. They couldn't find any entrails, so they thawed out a bag of ground pork and dropped it in a bowl.

"Yo-ho-ko, what're those numbers on that box?" asked Jack Frost.

"That's a clock," said Kaitou. "It tells time."

Jack Frost stared. "So it's ten… fifty-seven!?" Jack Frost stood up. "We have to leave, ho!"

"Don't let Wyvern eat me this time, ho!" shouted Pyro Jack.

The trio scurried off into the night.

"…What was that all about?" asked Kaitou.

"Demons who cross over on Halloween lose their powers and die if they stay here past midnight," explained Yoko.

Kaitou stared. "…Is that true?"

"No, but it keeps them out of our hair," said Yoko. "We'd have armies march here every year if we hadn't spread that rumor."

"Oh…" said Kaitou. "Is that why Mom and Dad don't come back until morning? They're slaying the stragglers, so none of them find out we're lying?"

"Pretty much," said Yoko, wondering if it was a good idea to tell the ten-year-old about the adult's after-battle drinking parties. "Well, time to clean u-"

The monster alarm went off. Without as much as a backwards glance, Yoko sprinted out the house, wand in hand, ready to do battle the flock of harpies.

Kaitou stared at the uneaten food. "So… I guess I'm cleaning this up?"

Monday, October 31, 2033

Yoko sighed as she took another piece of chocolate out of the bowl. "House duty again," she muttered. "They tell me I have to go through the legendary castle of evil alone in two years, but they can't trust me on the night guard?"

"Sorry, Yoko," said Kaitou, head hanging low. "I didn't make Rank Five."

"No, it's fine, it's not your fault," said Yoko. "They just chose me instead of someone else, that's all."

"But-"

"No buts," said Yoko firmly. "Most children take that test when they're at least fifteen. All that means is that you're not a prodigy."

"But my cousin knows advanced lightning magic, and she's not even a Belnades!" said Kaitou. When he realized what he had said, he coughed and added, "I mean, shouldn't she be spending all her time on weapons training instead of magic like us?"

"She's also an adult," said Yoko. "You're a good magician, Kaitou. Just give it a few years; you can't rush experience."

"Okay," said Kaitou, not quite convinced.

There was a knock at the door.

"TRICK OR TR-HEE-T!" yelled a trio of demons.

Yoko's eyes widened in surprise. "Jack Frost, Pyro Jack, and Ripper Jack?" she said.

"Of course, ho!" said Jack Frost cheerily. "We-hee talked it over, and we're going to visit you every year!"

"Human lives are too short," said Ripper Jack. "Make the best of it when we can, right?"

"So we made you a cake!" said Pyro Jack. He held out a crushed cake with leaves and branches sticking out.

"Thank you," said Yoko. "That's so sweet of you."

"I know, right?" said Ripper Jack. "Want to come play some pranks with us? Pyro just found something called TP."

"It burns really good, hee-hee!" said Pyro Jack.

"…I still need to keep my family safe, you know," said Yoko. "Speaking of my family, if you burn anything down, they'll come after you. And you know what they do to demons…"

The trio shuddered. Jack Frost's head melted a little. Pyro Jack's flame dimmed to a pale yellow. Ripper Jack's skull lights dimmed.

"But, I'll make you a treat if you don't destroy anything," added Yoko brightly. "Just swing by in an hour or so, okay?"

"We can do this every year!" said Kaitou.

"Yeah, hee-ho!" said Jack Frost. "Come on, let's go get some more candy!"

When the demon trio were out of earshot, Yoko said, "You just want lava cakes, don't you?"

"What, you don't?" said Kaitou.

X

"…They're still not here," said Kaitou. "Yoko, can we-"

"No, Kaitou," said Yoko.

"But it's almost eleven," said Kaitou. "They can't make it-"

There was a knock at the door. "Sorry, ho!" shouted Jack Frost. "We were putting out fires all night!"

"T-hee-y weren't my fault, ho!" said Pyro Jack quickly. "We were scared! If something burned down, you might not give us dessert, ho!"

"You put out fires?" said Yoko. "That's-"

"No time!" said Ripper Jack. "We're just here to say goodbye. Goodbye!"

"We're sorry, Beelzebub!"

Once again, the trio scurried off in a blind panic.

"…I'm getting you all watches next year," said Yoko.

"So can I…?"

"Yes, you may."

Kaitou bit into the Jacks' cake. "Hey, this is actually pretty good!" he said.

But Yoko didn't hear him, because she had to chase off a gang of elves.

Tuesday, October 31, 2034

"TRICK OR TR-HEE-T!"

"Good evening, Jack Frost, Pyro Jack, Ripper Jack," said Yoko, not holding the bowl of candy. This year, Kaitou was handing out the candy, and they had real entrails for Ripper Jack.

"Ho-w'd you know it was us, ho?" asked Jack Frost.

"No one else talks like you three," said Yoko. "Come in, I made dessert early this year."

"Don't worry, Yo-ho-ko!" said Jack Frost. "We solved the time problem."

"… _Solved_ it?" said Yoko, raising one eyebrow.

"We can stay out as long as we want now!" said Ripper Jack. "…All right, not really, but we can stay out after midnight now!"

"We're not supposed to tell humans how, ho," Pyro Jack said in a low whisper. "The b—I mean, we'd get into big trouble if any humans knew! E-hee-ven you!"

Yoko's face turned grave. "Can anyone else do what you did?"

"Er…"

"Tell me. Or no dessert."

The Jacks looked at one another. "…Yes," confessed Pyro Jack.

Yoko sat down. "I have a duty, you know. The Belnades family must protect the world from demons. I am obligated to tell my family about this."

The Jacks looked at one another.

"And they might have to destroy you," clarified Yoko.

Kaitou's eyes went wide. "But Yoko-"

"However," added Yoko. "I can make an exception, if you three agree to a deal."

The Jacks were silent.

"I'll let this slide if you prevent any other demons from doing what you did," said Yoko. "You can't hide it; they'll see you return late. Give them a fake spell or ritual, one that requires at least fifty complicated steps, so that when it inevitably fails, they'll blame it on themselves. [1] I can write one up in half an hour."

"But…" Jack Frost said, looking from side to side. "W-hee were supposed to-"

Fire flared in Yoko's hands. "Do I make myself clear?"

Jack Frost yelped and hugged Ripper Jack. "Y-yes ma'am!" they said in unison.

"Ha, fire can't hurt me!" said Pyro Jack. "I'm Pyro Jack!"

Lightning arced between Yoko's hands. "Is this clear?"

"…Yes, ma'am," said the Jacks in unison.

"Now, then," said Yoko. "How about some dessert?"

"Yeah!" said Kaitou. "Now we can party all ni-"

"You have school tomorrow," said Yoko.

"Aw…"

X

Kazuya Kawamoto sat at his desk, debugging his compiler. It was several hours past midnight on a school night, but he neither noticed nor cared. He could sleep in class. His first class was English, which he had mastered in the future, and his second was Japanese Composition, which he did not care about. He could skip Gym if he had to, but naginata practice was a lot of fun.

"Hi-ho!" shouted a voice behind him, tapping his shoulder.

"Cal!" he shouted, falling off his swivel chair. He turned around, and saw the three Jack brothers. "When did you get here?!"

"Just now, ho," said Pyro Jack. "We opened the window."

"How did you not notice?!" said Ripper Jack incredulously, holding up a slightly damaged razor blade. "I had to break your lock to get in!"

"I have terrible tunnel vision," said Kazuya simply. "So, had fun running around? Nochy air do you good?"

"It did," said the trio in unison.

Kazuya stretched. "Time to hold up my end of the bargain," he said, typing something into his COMP.

Nothing happened.

"It's probably a technical glitch; let me check the manual," said Kazuya, looking at his emails. "Just sit down, don't break anything, and be quiet."

This went against the nature of the Jack brothers, but they couldn't disobey a direct order from their contracted summoner.

After a few minutes, Kazuya moaned. "Found the problem," he said. "The return function's destination isn't locked yet."

"Hee?" said Jack Frost, tilting his head.

"The computer doesn't know where your home is," explained Kazuya, still staring at the monitor. "It can't send you back until it knows."

"Why, ho?" asked Jack Frost.

Kazuya paused to rearrange the thoughts in his head to a higher (that is, more comprehensible) level. "This program is supposed to summon and dismiss demons. It's good at summoning, but the designer was in a hurry when he was programming the dismiss function, so it's poorly optimized. Most of the time, it returns you to your world by… reversing the ritual. Obviously, that doesn't work when I didn't summon you, like right after the contract is made, so there's another function for that. That one works by sending you back through the way you came… which, apparently, is closed." [2]

"Ho does it know which way we got here, ho?" asked Jack Frost.

"Apparently, it's supposed to lock onto your home world using your quantum dimensional wavelength and cross-referencing it with the quantum signal that comes from parallel dimensions, which we know about due to quantum, and using multiple imaginary numbers to simulate the quantum tunnel…" Kazuya paused to stare. "…Nothing that uses the word quantum ten times in one paragraph can possibly be real physics."

"What's quantum?" asked Ripper Jack.

"It's a big field of science with lots of quarks in it, but that's not important right now," said Kazuya. "The point is that it can't send you back the way you came because the portal's closed. This wouldn't have happened in my time, since Stephen's teleporter broke all the barriers, but that's right horrorshow where it is."

The Jacks looked at one another. "So… we-hee're stuck hee-re, ho?" said Jack Frost.

"Yes," said Kazuya gritting his teeth and calculating how much Magnetite he'd be set back by. "Once the portal opens, I can send you back, but until then, you're stuck for the whole year."

The Jack brothers looked at one another. "Well, that's not so bad, ho!" said Jack Frost. "We can see summer! And winter! And spring!"

"Yay!" said Pyro Jack.

Kazuya glared at them. "If you're going to be taking up a year's supply of Magnetite each, you're going to have to make yourselves worth it. Now go make me a chasha of coffee. No moloko, two sakar. The Em's our, so you don't have to worry about her as long as you clean up."

"Even me, ho?" said Jack Frost.

"Fine, you can dust my shelves," said Kazuya.

Ripper Jack raised his hand. "Wait, so you can only send us back on Halloween nights?"

Kazuya shook his head. "The destination will be saved when I send you back the first time. Once that's set, I can summon or dismiss you at any time of the year. Your contract would be a waste of memory if it was that inefficient. Not that memory is a problem anymore," Kazuya added, smirking. "Thank you, Moore's Law."

"Sir?" asked Ripper Jack.

"Yes?"

"How did you know that we were demons instead of kids in costumes?"

"Easy. Pyro Jack hasn't got any legs. Most human children can't float."

Pyro Jack looked down. "…How did no one notice this until today?"

The three demons scurried off to their assigned tasks. Kazuya settled down at his computer, but before he could type in a single word, he said, "You did _what_ to my lock!?"

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] A spell with a lot of complicated steps: People did this in real magic spells, for plausible deniability. If you cast it and you get what you want, you'll think it's a real spell. If it doesn't, you'll assume that you cast the spell wrong.

[2] Dismissal by sending back the way they came: Stephen found a better way to dismiss demons by SMT2, which is why you can summon from their homeland, Makai. I also forgot about the Diamond Realm when I was writing this… maybe it's just because it's a metaphysical space?

I had to change the years a few times for this to make sense. Kazuya sent back the Jacks in 2035, before he went off to college, or else I'd have to explain how none of them were caught by Soma or Naoki. Soma might be more oblivious without his powers, but Naoki is kind of jumpy at the moment.

OMAKE

For the government workers in Makai (for lack of a better term), Halloween was a holiday. As it was the only time where demons could consistently travel to the human world, it would be unfair to deprive them of this freedom.

Not many government workers travelled to the human world. Most of them were content to put their feet up and go drinking, take walks on the seaside, or organize field sports. But there were a few who took regular trips. Surprisingly, their leader was one of them.

Every Halloween, Lucifer disappeared to the human world. He told no one where he went, not even his trusted second Beelzebub. Speculating on where he went was a casual pastime for his lieutenants when they were off the clock.

"Sabbaths, probably," muttered Crowley in the break room.

"For the last time, Lucifer does not hold Sabbaths!" snapped Hecate. "Why do you think he forbade them?"

"Oh yeah? Then what do you think he's doing?" said Crowley.

"There is more to life than sex," said Virochana serenely.

"Feasting," said Beelzebub.

"There's more to life than just feasting, too," said Virochana.

"I could go for some sex right now," muttered Ishtar.

"I'm always up for a round," suggested Mara. "Hey, how about we-"

"No, Mara," said everyone in unison.

"Party poopers."

There was silence. "In all seriousness, where is His Excellency?" said Lucifuge Rofocale.

"I know where he is," said Ashtar.

All eyes were on him. "He told _you_?!" said Ishtar incredulously.

"I am his faithful servant!" said Lucifuge. "I run the government for him! Why would he tell a mere lackey like you? You didn't even sign up for this; you're just a package deal with Ishtar!"

Ashtar shrunk. "He didn't tell me; I just saw him across the street when I was out buying shrubberies in Halifax! I couldn't follow him because there was only one cashier on duty, but it was definitely His Excellency!" Ashtar shuddered. "You don't forget eyes like his, even when he's in human form."

Lucifer's generals sat in silence. "So… what do you think he's doing in the human world?" said Hecate after a while. "And don't you dare say Sabbaths, Crowley!"

Beelzebub stood up. "Well, I'm off to punish the stragglers. Save me some grub."

X

"So… then… it turns out that it was a cockroach all along!" said Vincent Brooks, shaking his banana rum daquiri.

"Fascinating," said Louis Cyphre.

"That's not all," continued Vincent. "She thinks I'm an alien now, because of the whole sheep thing!"

"That reminds me of the time I lost my friend's scooter keys!" said Teddie, taking another swig of coconut liqueur. "Boy, he was so mad, he locked himself in the basement and drank all the hot chocolate! It was un-bear-able!"

"That reminds me of the time I lost my first job," said Louis Cyphre, taking another sip of his third bottle of brandy. "I was quite literally thrown out of the building."

His drinking companions stared. "Was it a tall building?" Teddie squealed nervously.

"No, it was not a tall building at all," said Louis Cyphre. Technically, the building's proportions were around the usual for Heaven. But he had been thrown out from the sky, which made it rather painful when he hit the ground.

The trio took another sip in unison.

"So," said Vincent. "Want to go see a movie or something? I hear there's a midnight showing of _Silence of the Lambs_ at the theater down the street."

"I would very much enjoy that," said Louis Cyphre, dropping a large pile of money on the table and picking up his groceries. "Allow me this round. Alas, it is almost midnight, and I must be going. Good night, Vincent, Teddie."

Walking in a straight line, as if he was completely sober, Louis Cypher strolled towards the exit at a brisk pace.

Vincent fell out of his chair and stumbled towards the exit. "B—but—hey, Lou! Wait for-"

GONG! GONG! GONG! GONG!

Vincent clutched his head. Whether it was the loud noise or the holy origin, church bells hurt his ears.

Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong!

Vincent squeezed his eyes shut, and stumbled back into the bar.

Gong. Gong… gong…

When the noise of twelfth bell faded, Vincent deemed it safe to walk unsteadily outside.

Louis Cyphre was nowhere in sight. Not a single footstep marred the freshly fallen snow.

"He's gone," said Vincent, face turning pale and teeth chattering. "Just like a… a…"

"Cinderella?" suggested Teddie.

"GHOST!" wailed Vincent.

Teddie, the abomination spawned form the darkest depths of the human mind stared at Vincent. His breath unmisted, he said, "Aren't you the Lord of the Netherworld?"

"…Oh, yeah," said Vincent Brooks, Lord of the Netherworld, King of the Incubi, Protector of Lost Sheep, Conqueror of Nightmares, and loser of the drinking contest. "I probably have a hundred ghosts just like him down in the basement. Want to get some ice cream before the movie?"

"Do I?!"


	4. Chapter 4: Make Friends, not Corpses

Kaneko once imagined the Red Hot Chili Peppers running around naked in the desert, which is why the Demi-Fiend is shirtless in the desert. The way I write Naoki, I'm thinking of Hey Oh as his theme song; he feels lonely and isolated as a demon who used to be human. It makes me think of walking alone on a snowy day.

I also think of Hello by Adelle as Nanashi's theme. The Other Side made me think of the afterlife, and in Nanashi's case, it made me think of how he's undead. Even though they're not physically separated, there's still this glass wall between him and his friends. He walks among the living, but his blood is cold.

Come to think of it, there is another character in this story who fits Hello better than Nanashi. He was isolated for years, and wants to apologize to someone he loves. He has not appeared yet, though.

In the Air Tonight is the theme of Tatsuya Suou. He remembered something important when all the world told him to forget, and he's atoning.

I've been playing Persona 5. I haven't gotten very far, but I think it's very effective at showing the cost of being a main character. The heroes are trapped, metaphorically and physically, and they can see no light at the end of the tunnel. They are shunned and hated in real life, and if they get into any trouble, no one will help them. Being a Phantom Thief looks like a lot of fun, but it's not worth it to have your life in ruins first.

My Joker's name is Robin Yu, because he's robbing you.

Maxie's redesign in Pokémon looks like Katsuya Suou. And Ken from Digimon looks a lot like Jun Kurosu. They even started out as mysterious, masked villains who were brainwashed.

I think that _Persona 5_ _Royal_ will somehow relate to SMT proper. It doesn't seem like a coincidence that weird things are happening in Kichijoji, Kazuya's hometown.

This chapter is very SMT-heavy. I'll put in more Castlevania next chapter.

 **Clarification** : during the Halloween Special, Kazuya recruited the Jack bros. in October 2034, and sent them back to Makai offscreen on October 2035. Kazuya, Soma, Naoki, and Daisuke have been roommates since April 2036, so Kazuya hasn't been hiding the Jacks from his roommates. He could only hide them from his mother because they have separate rooms.

 **Who knows what:**

Yoko and the Agency know there's a demon summoner in Haruhata. Kazuya, Soma, and Mina know Kazuya is a demon summoner, but none of them know that the Agency is looking for him.

Only people who know in canon know that Soma is Dracula. It is common knowledge among the international supernatural 'community' that Dracula was the deceased Graham Jones, but no one has been shown to believe this.

Only Yoko and the Agency know what they're doing in Haruhata. Soma and Mina know they're doing something. The Agency also rescued a bunch of people who now know of their existence at the very least.

Make Friends, not Corpses

" _A wandering vampire hunter might travel alone, but he is not a lone wolf. No matter how powerful the hunter may be, he can accomplish nothing without the help of strangers. The locals will always know the surrounding area, the latest gossip, and the strange old drunk who's been around longer than the elders can remember. Be polite, be sympathetic, and keep your pursestrings loose_."

-Diary of Leon Belmont

Kazuya suffered from terrible tunnel vision [1]. It wasn't that his eyesight or hearing was bad; he never had any problems sitting in the back seat of a lecture hall, taking a driver's test, or aiming a hunting rifle. He just had trouble noticing things like people or furniture from more than a few meters away. As long as he wasn't consciously observing his surroundings, he could have a brisk stroll inside crowded café and not see a single person until he was almost right on top of them.

Surprisingly, this didn't hamper his survival ability. He had walked straight into enemy ambushes so many times that he learned to walk silently; he wouldn't see them coming, but neither would they. Demons caught even the wariest by surprise all the time; all the practice just made him better at reacting. It didn't matter that he didn't notice distant sounds when his protective headphones rendered him practically deaf; he couldn't hear a thing with them on, but if he kept firing a minigun less than a meter away from his head, then he wouldn't be able to hear a thing with them off. Besides, Aoi and his demons were always around to point important stuff out.

Still, if you knew this weakness, it was possible to catch Kazuya by surprise. That was, after all, how he was assassinated.

It was also how Kazuya completely failed to notice two people speaking in indoor voices less than three meters away from him.

Soma Cruz, Kazuya's roommate, and a girl Kazuya didn't recognize were standing on the couch, staring at him and Cerberus. A fireball floated in midair behind them.

"Oh, no, don't mind me," said Kazuya, sliding his hand to the ground and preparing to run. "Please, carry o-"

Soma's left shoulder wound back, warning Kazuya of an imminent projectile. He leapt to the side before Soma could complete the throw, to avoid the fiery projectile smelling of-

"Curry?" said Kazuya, resisting the urge to break eye contact and turn around. "You threw _curry_ at me?"

"Sorry, I was aiming at the lion," said Soma, barely paying attention to Kazuya. His eyes were on Cerberus. "Kazuya, why is there a monster in our-"

"You spoilt little bratchny!" yelled Kazuya. "Did no one tell you to never waste food!? There are people starving in—there are starving people everywhere; you're just going to throw two days' worth of food away just to-"

"Forget about the curry; what's this thing doing-"

"Forget the curry?! _Forget about the curry!?_ Do you have any idea what it's like to starve?!" roared Kazuya. "Have you ever gone even one day without a meal, Soma? Gone to bed with an empty stomach? Gnawed on raw boots with barely enough strength in your-"

Soma reached behind his back and pulled out another plate of curry. "It's magic curry, all right?" he said, unintimidated. "I can just make more with magic. Do you really think that a student would just throw food away?"

Kazuya stopped yelling, but he continued to glare at Soma. "There are still lots of people out there who could use some-"

Soma raised both his hands. The plate slipped out of his hands, but vanished before it hit the ground. "Let's discuss this later, all right? I'll donate these to charity if it'll make you shut up. Let's focus on the important issues, like _what are you doing with a demon lion in our basement_?!"

At this, Cerberus's hackles rose. "You want to fight, Snowball?" he growled.

"Bring it on, Kimba."

Soma grabbed something on the inside of his coat, and Kazuya broke out into a cold sweat. The only things that people hid in their inside pockets were wallets and guns, and Kazuya was pretty sure that Soma wasn't going to bribe him.

Kazuya opened his mouth to threaten Soma with fiery death by Cerberus, but stopped himself. The proper response to a demon's threat was usually another threat; demons don't respect the weak, and some demons with overinflated egos thought that anyone brave enough to threaten them _had_ to be stronger than them. Humans, especially ones who lived in peaceful times, didn't take threats seriously. Or they saw threats as a reason to jump straight to fighting, not as a means of negotiation.

The second best response was to act like a sycophant; it was easy to trap flattered demons in a contract, but obsequiousness only worked because most demons couldn't read human expressions and social cues. According to Takeshi, Kazuya's bootlicking act looked like the Comic Relief Villain prostrating before the Evil Emperor in a children's anime, but demons ate it up.

Which left bribery (an admittance of guilt to a human), sneak attacks (which would get someone killed), running (to where?), blackmail (Kazuya didn't even know this girl's name), and… normal human negotiation.

How did Aoi do it, again?

"Cerberus, down," said Kazuya in an authoritative voice that betrayed no fear. When they were alone, his dog was Pascal, but in front of other people, he was the mighty Cerberus, guardian of the gate of Hades.

Cerberus straightened his stance, and looked away. "You got lucky, br-"

"No taunting. He's got a piece in there." Kazuya raised his hands slowly and put them behind his head. Now wasn't the time to wonder how his roommate got his hands on a firearm. Kazuya had survived bullet wounds without protection before, but a) even an amateur could hit something vital from point blank range, b) there was no one around with healing magic, and c) it could be one of those rhino-hunting guns for all he knew. "Just sit down in that corner and let me take care of this."

Cerberus whined as he sat. "You can start by making that girl put down that chair."

"What ch-" Kazuya turned around and saw that while he was yelling at Soma, the girl had armed herself with a chair. "Ah, yes. That chair."

Soma's friend was pointing a wooden chair at Cerberus, like a lion tamer from an old cartoon. Her hands were shaking. "You're a demon summoner, aren't you?" said the girl in a loud voice, as if to drown out her fear.

"I am," said Kazuya, trying to remember how Aoi spoke during Center meetings, and then trying not to cry.

Soma stepped towards the girl. "Mina, he's got the lion under con-"

"Soma," said the girl. "You know how in almost every anime or video game, there's this one person who _willingly_ turned to dark magic who's actually a decent person, and they fight their own kind? Like how Akira fused with Amon in _Devilman_ and why _Ghost Rider_ is a thing?"

"Of course I-"

" _They're the exceptions_."

"Wait, but wasn't Akira out to prove that there were humans who-"

"You know what I mean," snapped Mina.

Kazuya eyed the chair. "Do you plan to kill me?" he said.

"If I have to," said the girl. Her hands were shaking.

"Let's say that you do," said Kazuya. "And let's pretend that Cerberus here won't maul you two to death for it. What are you going to tell the police? Are you really going to tell them that you killed your friend's roommate because you think he's a demon summoner? Where's your proof?"

"There's a division that deals with people like you," said the girl.

This made Kazuya drop his arrogant tone. "What?!" said Kazuya. "Since when!?"

"Since… I don't know, at least the sixties," said the girl, who was only a little less surprised than he was.

"Then-" Kazuya stopped himself before he could spill the next words: ' _Where were they when the demons came_?' Instead, he managed to regain his composure long enough to say, "You still don't have any proof."

"I've been filming you since you started ranting about the curry," said the girl coolly.

"You're bluffing," said Kazuya.

"What?" said the girl.

"Why would you just happen to be carrying a video camera with you?" said Kazuya triumphantly. Soma and the girl gave him identical baffled looks.

"…We… have phones," said Soma delicately. "Y… are you sure you're a computer science major?"

It took Kazuya a few moments to recall that most people in the 21st century carried around cell phones, and that modern phones had camera and video capabilities. There went that plan. "All right, I give up. You win. Can we please just talk this out?"

The girl blinked. "You're begging _us_ for mercy?" said the girl, surprise briefly overtaking fear.

"Actually, my plan was to discourage you from attacking me so that I could call for parley, but since you have the high ground, all I can do is beg for it," said Kazuya.

Soma sat down. "I'd like a parley, too," he said. "I'd like to know what's going on without fighting to the death for once."

The girl looked at the two, and caved. "All right, fine. Let's have a parley. But you have to send away that demon of yours!"

Cerberus growled. "I will not leave my master's s-"

"I'll do it, but only if you put down that chair and he puts away that gun," said Kazuya.

Soma's brow creased. "What gun?"

"What?!" growled Cerberus.

Kazuya raised his hands. "One at a time. Soma, I'm talking about the gun in your coa…" took Kazuya a moment to recall that he wasn't living in a postapocalyptic landscape with no gun control laws. "Never mind what you have in your coat; if you think you can take Cerberus on with it, I don't want it anywhere near me."

Soma shrugged. "All right, but you need to go first."

"Kazuya…" said Cerberus, stepping closer.

"You don't need to worry about me," said Kazuya, kneeling and gently scratching Cerberus's mane.

"But Kazuya-"

"If I don't do it, it's back to the battlefield for both of us," said Kazuya firmly. "No one's trying to kill me yet, and I'd like to keep it that way."

" _She_ wants to kill you," growled Cerberus.

"Most humans have an aversion to killing their own kind," whispered Kazuya. "She talks big, but she won't do it if I don't threaten her."

"But-"

"Just go, Cerberus. I promise you I'll get through this."

Cerberus lowered his head. Kazuya flipped open the COMP's cover and hit a few keys. "Give it a moment; you know what these old computers are like."

Cerberus vanished in a flash of blue light.

"Your turn," said Kazuya, watching both students for any sudden movements. He was keenly aware of how naked and cornered he felt; the closest thing to a weapon on hand were couch cushions, and he'd been squatting in the corner farthest from the door. But he didn't have to worry; the girl walked the chair over to the other end of the room, keeping her eyes on him the whole time, and Soma tossed his jacket on the chair. Soma made a move to sit at his old seat, but the girl tugged him to a table next to the door.

"Now take that thing off your arm," said the girl, pointing at the COMP.

"No," said Kazuya.

"What was that?" said the girl, her harsh voice betraying her fear.

"Soma can throw magic curry at people, and one of you can make fireballs," said Kazuya. "If you're not completely disarmed, I'm not taking this off."

The girl quickly stood up and hefted the chair. "Then we're-"

"Still having that parley," interrupted Soma. "I don't care if we can get away with it; we're not killing my roommate."

"We're not killing him, we're-"

"Seriously, can you please just explain?" said Soma. "What's so ba-"

"Soma," said the girl. "You of all people should know that the Agency doesn't arrest people for magic. They arrest people for murder."

Kazuya flinched.

Soma blinked. "What?"

"Demon summoning requires human sacrifice," said the girl. Then she cursed, or at least muttered an unrecognizable word in a tone usually reserved for cursing. "…And now that he knows we know, we're next."

Kazuya's whole body tensed up. It was one thing to be accused of summoning demons; they already knew he could do it, and he could just say that he didn't do anything illegal with them. Murder was different. It was almost impossible to prove that he wasn't behind a specific murder; proving that he never killed anyone, besides being untrue, was much closer to impossible. "You think that just because I've killed people before, I'm going to kill you?"

The girl blinked. "When you put it that way, it's—I mean, yes! Isn't the killer's second target always the witness?"

Kazuya froze. If he said he wouldn't kill them, they'd go to the police. If he said he wouldn't kill them as long as they didn't report him, he'd sound exactly like a murderer, and they'd go to the police anyways. "I haven't killed anyone who didn't try to kill me first," he settled.

"Was that a threat?" said the girl warily.

"No!" said Kazuya. "It's…" He shot Soma a pleading look. "Soma, every criminal is at least allowed a trial by jury, right?"

Soma blinked. He looked as if he hadn't yet registered that the person who slept directly beneath him every night was a murderer. "Well, yes, but-"

"And murder is legal in self-defense?"

"…I guess?"

"And desecration of human corpses isn't illegal?"

"…I'm not sure about that, but I'm sure it's just in poor ta-"

"Please," begged Kazuya. "Don't call the police yet. If they're anything like the supernatural police I knew, they're not going to give someone like me a trial. Let me plead my case."

Kazuya bit the inside of his lip. This was it. Strictly speaking, he wasn't helpless; with just a few swift, practiced motions, he could summon his strongest demons, order them to kill these kids, and then walk away. Maybe life would go back to normal eventually, or maybe the police would find him, and he'd have to run away and go live as a globetrotting refugee for the rest of his life (which sounded kind of fun).

But he wouldn't. If he did, there would be nothing separating him from the Gaians he had slaughtered so long ago.

Kazuya removed his COMP and slid it towards Soma and the girl. "I'm completely unarmed," he said. "If you want to kill me, you probably can."

Both Soma and the girl looked taken aback. "…I can't say no to that," said Soma. "We'll do it."

Kazuya cleared his throat. "It all started in the October of 1999, when I was just fifteen years old…"

X

Yoko skimmed through another report. Normally, she would have done her homework before flying to a job, but she had taken the job on such short notice that her application for a record transfer hadn't had time to go through. Alucard's good word could help her get jobs, but there is little short of a national emergency that can hurry up bureaucracy. Agent Fireball was senior enough to approve a 'transfer' and gave her a censored pile of mission reports.

From what she could see, most of the rookie agents weren't bad at their job. Not that they were good detectives or fighters, mind you. Only professionals can be measured by kill counts or solved cases. The litmus test for an amateur is how they report their screwups. Sloppiness is normal when you're first starting, and no half-decent instructor will hold a training mistake against their charges. Deliberately downplaying or obfuscating their messes to look competent, however, is a warning flag for poor record-keeping. Too many times had a Level Nine threat been underreported as a Level Six when the survivors wanted to sound tougher than they were. Of course, as a mercenary, Yoko didn't know this firsthand; she heard it from her grandmother, a former officer in the USSR's Occult Police program.

Agent Cowboy looked up from the poker table, and folded. "I thought you're supposed to help us. What are you, the secret auditor?"

"I can't help you until I know what's going on," said Yoko. Cowboy, surprisingly enough, was one of the more meticulous rookies. He wrote down every detail, no matter how trivial, in the hopes that some of it might be useful.

"You already know everything from the briefings," insisted Agent Cowboy. "Quit wasting our time."

"No, I'm getting a lot from this," said Yoko. "Such as the fact that the blood bank robbery was never solved, and you just skipped straight to the flying robot shark incident."

"That's not a mistake," said Agent Lily, shuffling cards. "The blood bank was robbed by an underground doctor and his assistant, who needed it for emergency transfusions. We let them off in exchange for free treatment whenever we want."

Yoko shrugged. Lily was one of three agents she was certain was cheating. Those three wrote about their tailings and investigations going wrong all the time, but she'd never seen anything about poor combat performance. If they were to be believed, they'd never needed backup, could dodge bullets, and heroically dived in front of werewolves to save fallen teammates. Of course, she did know more than a few people who had done all that when they were around the same age, but all of them had trained all their lives as monster hunters. Except for Soma. But she was pretty sure that reincarnations of the most powerful vampire to ever exist were in short supply.

"So what are you going to do to help us, then?" asked Agent Reaper, another cheater. "Are you just going to hang around until we find this summoner?"

Yoko shook her head. "I charge by the day, and, surprise surprise, your bosses consider that a waste of money. Until we find the summoner, I'll be investigating alongside you. Don't look at me like that, Cowboy. You're not going to always be working with people you like."

"Which is why you two are going to be on the same team tonight," said Agent Fireball, walking in. Everyone looked up. "I've written this week's rota on the board. Everyone's getting at least one round with our new comrade. Any questions? Yes, Agent Dragon?"

"What are we allowed to tell her?" asked Agent Dragon, the third cheater.

Cowboy moaned. "Weren't you paying attention during the exams? Mercenaries are given by default level Daleth-Omicron-Charlie clearance." [2]

"I know that!" snapped Agent Dragon. "I mean, if she's working with us, she needs to know what we can do, but that's in our profiles, and those are level Gimmel! And what if we're fighting a—what if we're fighting something we've fought before on a Level Theta mission?"

"That is an excellent question, Agent Dragon," said Agent Fireball mildly. "Agent Cowboy, you are correct, but you forgot that Ms. Belnades has already read files that normally require level Xi security clearance." Agent Dragon shot a smug look at Agent Cowboy, who scowled. "Ms. Belnades, would you mind stepping outside for a moment? There's a vending machine on the ground floor." He tossed her a 500 yen coin.

"Thank you," said Yoko. Agent Fireball wasn't being nice; this was nothing more than a simple ploy to ensure her alibi. If she didn't bring something back, or she couldn't give basic details on the machine, she was probably spying. Yoko didn't blame him, though; if this wasn't government, she'd probably be sending something back to the Belnades Clan Archives in case of emergency backstabs (from either side).

Yoko's suspicions were confirmed when she found that there was no vending machine on the ground floor. This was a trap meant for people who knew about this sort of test, and brought along their own snacks and drinks hidden on their person. Yoko never did this, because there is no brand ubiquitous enough to be in every single vending machine, or even any guarantee what kind of vending machine it was. She returned empty-handed, and made sure to knock.

Agent Wolf opened the door. "We're done," she said.

"Basically, you can hear anything from Aleph-Omega-Alfa to Daleth-Omicron-Charlie, anything between that level and Zayin-Lambda-Echo level is strictly-need-to-know, and we absolutely cannot-"

Agent Fireball sighed. "Agent Cowboy, knowing our codes does not make you smarter than her. Agent Wolf, tell Ms. Belnades what we've discussed."

"We—the rookies—can tell you bits of preapproved classified material, as long as it's below a certain clearance," said Agent Wolf. "For instance, profiles are usually off-limits to mercenaries, but we can tell you about our abilities or medical histories. If you need to know something higher, like how we killed a certain type of monster on a classified mission, Agent Fireball will fill you in. In the event that there's something that even Agent Fireball can't talk about, we're probably going to be pulled out, so you don't need to worry."

"Couldn't we just make a file full of stuff we can tell her and have her read it?" said Agent Reaper.

"That would take too long," said Agent Lily. "That is what need-to-know basis means. You don't read every book in the library to study for a test."

Agent Fireball turned towards Yoko. "I can make you another file by Friday, but in the meantime, just listen to the others." He turned towards the rookie agents. "The next shift is coming up, so get ready! Mobilize in ten, reconvene at 0500!"

The agents reluctantly stood up and began to prepare. Agent Fireball was already ready, and simply handed out advice as the agents passed.

"Agent Cowboy, good job staying unseen on patrol duty, but I think the Portuguese Mafia's caught on to the sudden gas leaks."

"Agent Wolf, you did an excellent job of evading that tracker, but you were missing quite a bit of context in that spy report."

"Agent Lily, I applaud your initiative regarding your training, but using your Stand to cheat at cards is terrible form."

X

Soma had a very clear idea of what was Normal and what was not. College was Normal. Roommates were Normal. Castlevania was Not Normal. Fighting monsters was Not Normal. Talking to people was Normal. Seeing a witch or a dhampir was Not Normal, but seeing Yoko or Arikado was Normal. Even discussing Not Normal things was Normal. This, however simplistic, is a common mindset held by many people living a double life, most commonly held by Persona users.

When Normal and Not Normal meld together, the result is disorienting.

For almost a year, Soma placed Kazuya firmly in the Normal category. Kazuya was more or less another extra on the set for college, a Normal Place.

Seeing Kazuya playing with a demon, an extra from some Not Normal Place, in the basement of his dorm, was about as disorienting as watching the new dub of his favorite foreign movie, only to find that King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table spoke in Southern US accents due to localization.

"…and I was a completely ordinary boy," said Kazuya. "I didn't know demons were real, I didn't believe in magic, and I wasn't even that smart or rich. That all changed when a man named Stephen tested his teleporter network exactly one week from Halloween, when the walls between the worlds were at their weakest. He accidentally broke the barrier between the human and demon worlds, allowing demons to-"

"Wait, couldn't he have just shut down the teleporter?" said Mina.

Soma expected Kazuya to roll his eyes and complain about being interrupted, but instead he gave a tense smile and said, "I asked Stephen that same question. Using the teleporter once made it easier for demons to enter this world using any route, not just the teleporters. Don't ask me why; I didn't understand then, so I can't remember now. Besides, the government seized the teleporters before he could destroy them." He paused. "You'd think they'd at least have destroyed the one in the Diet building."

"Anyways, that's just why everything went to hell. I became a demon summoner ten minutes after I saw a Preta rip a man's throat out. I ran into a Pixie, gave her my allowance, and she agreed to be my-"

"How?" said Soma. When Kazuya gave him a strange look, Soma cleared his throat. "Okay, there were at least five things wrong with what you just said. There's no way anyone could learn how to cast a basic fire spell in ten minutes, let alone summon a demon-" _You're one to talk_ , muttered a Student Witch. _Not now_ , he bit back "-and even if you could learn how to summon a demon, you just said you ran into one, not summoned one. Third, paying demons doesn't guarantee they're going to listen to you. Four, I forgot number four, but five, what about that thing?" Soma pointed to the wrist-mounted computer Kazuya put on the ground, knowing better than to touch his computers without permission.

Kazuya blinked. "Right. I forgot about that. Stephen wrote a program called the Demon Summoning Program, which covers everything you just said. It allows anyone with a microphone and 64 MB of memory to communicate with demons, make contracts that heavily restrict their ability to backstab you, return them to their home dimensions, and retrieve them. I have no idea how it works."

Mina looked as if he had told her that it was too late to deactivate the Evil Emperor's Death Ray.

"Don't worry, I'm the only one who has it," Kazuya added quickly. "As far as I know, I'm the only one who has the program, and I have no intention of distributing it. Before you ask, I got it off an email."

Soma chuckled.

"…Yes, Soma, that is exactly how I was scammed the other day," said Kazuya coldly.

Soma shook his head. "Never mind that. So you summoned demons to protect yourself? That doesn't sound that ba-"

"He had to kill people, remember?" said Mina urgently.

"Actually, I didn't," said Kazuya. "I'm not saying that I never killed humans before, but I never did it for the Magneti—you don't know what Magnetite is."

"The most magnetic natural mineral on earth?" said Mina.

Soma blinked. "You knew that off the top of your head?"

"I read a lot of Nat Geo."

Kazuya shook his head. "They're both called magnetite. My Magnetite is short for Magic Net Field Effect Mineral; -ite is the mineral suffix [3]. They didn't call it Magitite because they didn't think anyone would take it seriously after _Final Fantasy_. The person who named Ma—my Magnetite, I mean—didn't know about the mineral called magnetite, and no one renamed it because… anyway, demons need my Magnetite to sustain their bodies in our world. Humans have a lot of it naturally, but there exist deposits in places with a lot of natural magic. I found it most efficient to scrounge it from other demons."

Soma blinked. _Is this true?_ he asked the monster souls within him.

In response, Soma heard an incomprehensible cacophony.

Soma groaned internally _. Please be quiet_. The souls fell silent. _Stolas, is this true?_

 _The word is unfamiliar, Master, but the concept rings true_ , Stolas responded. _We do not require sustenance from humans if we gather around places with strong ambient magic. The castle was a wellspring of magical energy._

 _Huh,_ thought Soma. _Does that have anything to do with how I'd get a refill on magic when I broke stuff or killed monsters?_

 _Did you not notice?_ Stolas added politely _._

 _Wait, is this the same energy I use for magic?_

Stolas nodded. _The very same. Do you not bestow it upon us when you create bodies for us?_

 _But most people can't use magic!_

 _They simply lack the knowledge, not the potential,_ said Stolas _. I believe the word is vestigial?_

 _Got it. Thank you, Stolas._

 _I am at your service._

Soma realized that Kazuya was glaring at him. "I'm throwing myself on your mercy," he said, gritting his teeth. "The least you could do is listen."

"Sorry, just fact-checking," said Soma. "What did I miss?"

"He wants to demonstrate a summoning, and I said that even if this 'Magnetite' does exist, he can't prove that he didn't get it from humans," said Mina.

"It's real, and you can get it from demons," said Soma. When Mina gave him a look, he added, "I'll explain later. Hang on."

 _Stolas, could you please do some calculations for me?_

A few moments later, Soma said, "It's difficult, but possible, to summon a demon entirely out of demon sacrifices."

Kazuya blinked. "How-"

"Gift. Horse," said Soma.

Mina considered this. "I have another que—two questions. How was this covered up, how old a—three questions. How was this covered up, how old are you, and why are you only going to colle—four questions. How do you look-"

"Time travel," said Kazuya bluntly.

Soma whistled. "That makes so much sense."

Mina looked up. " _How_?"

Soma shrugged. "He doesn't know the last Prime Minister's name, couldn't use the washing machine, things like that. Oh, and he hadn't even heard of _Harry Potter_ until he came here."

Mina pointed at Kazuya. "Explain."

Kazuya sighed. "Technically, I'm from an alternate timeline, but 'dimensional traveler' sounds like an astronaut. From what I've read, the timeline's mostly consistent with what I remember, up until the demons," said Kazuya. He took a deep breath.

"In the November of 1999, a general in the JSDF led a coup. He claimed that the American ambassador was planning to nuke Japan because it was God's will. The American ambassador thought that general was planning to summon Lucifer. I'm not sure if either of them were guilty of those particular accusations, because they—anyways, they fought each other more than they fought the demons, and Tokyo turned into a battleground." [4]

Kazuya paused for a second longer than Soma should have. "I joined the local Resistance movement. We fought the coup forces and the American army, but the ambassador had a… surprise." Kazuya looked as if he wanted to say something significantly less pleasant. "We—the Resistance leader and I—managed to kill him, but Got—the general—was right about the nuke. Tho—the ambassador launched it right before he died."

Kazuya's hands were shaking. "The Resistance leader saved me at the last minute. A—she sent me and… me and some friends thirty years into the future."

"The Tokyo of the future was a wasteland, but we rebuilt. The Resistance leader reincarnated, and we worked together to—no, you need more context."

Kazuya took in a deep breath. "Two factions sprung up in our absence. Powerful ones, filled with powerful demons and summoners. Both of them wanted to massacre the other, down to the last civilian. The Resistance leader and I didn't want either of them to take over Tokyo, so we went to war. After we took the heads of their leaders, the survivors were willing to negotiate. People are a lot more efficient when they're not trying to kill each other, so we built a new city. Things were all right—for maybe a decade."

"One of the two factions took over the whole city, and crushed the other one," said Kazuya, speaking rapidly. "It was all legal, and Aoi and I couldn't retaliate because they were the entire government by then. They still couldn't kill us—we were too popular and powerful—so they assigned us to the slums. The Resistance leader did a good job of it, and we became a force to reckon with, so they-"

Kazuya's voice broke. "I got elected," he continued in a forced monotone. "I did the managing fine, but I wasn't so good at talking to the Cent—central authority. Aoi had pull with them—she was born into their cult—but all I had was demons. They gave me more and more problems, didn't lift a finger to help, and when I took a break…"

Kazuya sighed. "We had lovely natural cave systems, and I took a holiday. There was a cave-in. Some bratchney stole me COMP right off the arm, so I know it was an assassin. I died."

Neither Soma nor Mina interrupted this proclamation.

"Three years ago, on the day before Halloween, I woke up in my old bed, in my old house, with my m—everything was the same," said Kazuya. "Everything but the year. I don't know how it happened, what happened to the me of this timeline, or why the COMP still has the program." Kazuya sighed. "And that's my story."

Soma and Mina stared at Kazuya, and then looked at one another.

"That sounds so ridiculous that I don't know what to say," said Mina. She turned to Soma. "What do you think?"

"I think… Oh." Soma realized what she meant. _All of you, one at a time. Did he sound like he was lying? If you think he said something that isn't true, but he wasn't lying about it, don't say anything._

 _He lies!_

 _He speaks true._

 _I shall wreak vengeance upon he who once bound me to slavery…_

 _Liar!_

 _I don't think he's lying._

 _THE FILTHY EARTH BOY LIES!_

 _Hey, I know that guy!_

 _Look, it's Stepdaddy!_

 _Yeah, me too!_

 _Can we say hi? Canwecanwecanwecanwe_

Soma clutched his head. _One at a time_.

"Soma?" said Mina.

"Is he all right?" asked Kazuya, tilting his head.

"I'm fine," said Soma. _You know him!? Why didn't you say anything?! Oh, and only one of you speak this time. Vote on it._

After a while, one of the senior Bats explained that Lilim was one of Kazuya's demons when he liberated Shinjuku from a tyrant, Arachne fought him while he was trying to save the Resistance Leader, Kali helped kill the faction leaders, Quetzalcoatl was friends with Cerberus, and more than a few of them fought him at some point.

 _Wait, but… timelines?_

 _We are not linear beings_ , explained Stolas. _I will elaborate when you have time._

"He's telling the truth," said Soma. "He's travelled through time, fought those factions, everything."

Kazuya eyed him curiously. "And how do you-"

"Gift horse. Mouth," said Soma. "So now that you know he's not lying, are you going to let him off, Mina?"

Mina was silent.

"Mina?" said Soma.

"I'm thinking."

Kazuya's face morphed into the stony mask he usually wore, but Soma knew better. Dracula knew better. The vague wisps of the man Dracula once was knew better. Kazuya was as high strung as a violin tuned for a dog, and coiled to run.

 _Zephyr, get ready._

 _Tch, brat. I, Zephyr, do not take orders from—_

 _NOW._

Zephyr had no choice but to obey. Soma's magic circuits rearranged themselves to accommodate the Time Stop spell.

Mina spoke.

X

Thunder boomed. Rain splattered on the muddy pavement, washing away the deeds of the night.

The murderer stalked the empty streets, clothes completely soaked. This was no mean feat in winter in northern Japan; the murderer was wearing three layers, not including underwear. The murderer seemed to expect the rain but did not care; not a single layer was waterproofed, but inside an inner pocket jangled a small plastic bag containing keys, a wallet, some paperclips, a small pocket knife, and some candy. The murderer did not carry a phone.

The murderer's destination was a dimly lit apartment building in the eastern corner of the city. Rain silenced booted footsteps as the murderer climbed the concrete steps. The door had a keycard scanner and a number pad, but the murderer required neither. A mere twelve seconds of pressing an ungloved hand against the scanner later, the door's bolt clicked open.

The murderer opened the door silently. The apartment's occupant was lying in front of the television, buried underneath a fort of cushions, pillows, cardboard boxes, and blankets. A mug of black tea sat in front of the quivering mass, next to a boiling electric kettle, a small saucepan of heated cream, and a half empty bowl of sugar.

"I'm home."

The accomplice barely looked up from the television. "Difficult job. Angry client. Don't talk."

"Don't be like that. I've got something for you." The murderer gently put a box on the ground, and opened it. "Say hello."

The box meowed. A tiny brown kitten popped out, looking at the world with bright amber eyes. "Mew?"

The accomplice looked up. "Was that a…?" The accomplice stood up, collapsing the fort. "A cat?"

"You said you used to have a cat," said the murderer, pouring a mug of tea and swishing it around to let the heat out. "You've been under a lot of stress lately. Thought you'd appreciate a pet."

"Yeah, and we all know how the last one turned out," muttered the accomplice, and added in a gentle voice, "It's okay, I won't hurt you." The accomplice extended a finger for the kitten to sniff. "What's her name?"

"She doesn't have one," said the murderer, wincing as chilled tongue met scalding hot water. "How about… Fluffy?"

"The Cerberus from _Harry Potter_?" said the accomplice. "Why not McGonagall?"

"This little kitty is too small to be Professor McGonagall."

The accomplice shrugged. "Guess that means Mrs. Norris is out of the question. Crookshanks?"

"Not orange enough. How about Bastet?"

"Too pretentious," said the accomplice. "Hubel or Wiesel?"

"Who?"

"Neuroscientists. They used a cat for their experiments on the brain. It was groundbreaking."

"…That's even more pretentious. We might as well name her Ailuros and be done with it."

"Morgana?" suggested the accomplice.

"Cute, but that sounds like a witch's cat."

"Felix?"

The accomplice considered this. "Classic cartoon character, and a pun on the Latin Felis. Works, except she's female."

"Fine. Felice?"

"Eh, it needs the x to be cool. How about Catherine?"

"I never liked that pun," said the murderer. "How about Luna?"

"Doesn't look like a Luna," said the accomplice. "What does that have to do with cats?"

"Luna is the name of Sailor Moon's guardian cat," said the murderer. "Didn't you ever watch Sailor Moon as a kid?"

"Didn't have cable, wasn't friends with anyone who had it," said the accomplice. "Why not Sagwa?" When the murderer didn't react, the accomplice sighed. "Of course _you_ wouldn't watch non-cable cartoons. Sagwa's Siamese, anyways."

"What's the name of the cat from the Simpsons?"

"Itchy is a terrible name," said the accomplice. "Unless that's the mouse. Scratchy is also terrible."

"Not the Itchy and Scratchy Show; the Simpsons family had a pet cat."

"Snowball, and not for a brown cat. Besides, there were six cats named Snowball on the show, and they all died."

"Dawon?" said the murderer.

"Who?"

"In Hindu lore, Durga rides a lion or tiger named Dawon into battle," said the murderer. "Or Gdon, depending on your source."

The accomplice stared. "How did you know that off the top of your head?"

"How did you know the names of two neuroscientists off the top of your head?"

"…Touché."

"Maybe Frejya?" suggested the murderer. "Her chariot is pulled by cats."

"Just what we want, sentencing an innocent soul to hard physical labor," muttered the accomplice.

"Selina, then?" suggested the murderer.

The accomplice mulled this over. "Catwoman's real name, Selina Kyle. I like it. You're Selina from now on!"

"Mew!" said the cat.

The accomplice tickled the newly christened Selina under the chin, and then went stock still. "Does this apartment allow pets?"

The murderer sighed. "Do I need to remind you about all those times we have literally gotten away with murder?" When the accomplice didn't respond, the murderer added, "Yes, they do."

X

"Summoning is illegal because murder is illegal. If you've only killed in self-defense, and you only broke the law because your life was in danger, I can't turn you in."

X

Naoki yawned, and rubbed his eyes as he emerged from the building housing his calculus class. He'd been out all night searching for Daisuke. Then he remembered that he forgot to do his physics homework, and stayed up all night on it. Naoki was thankful that caffeine still worked on a body with glowing lymph and an extra brain in a horn, and didn't care if it made sense or not. He sometimes wondered if he could get drunk.

Naoki started towards the building that held his programming class, when he was struck by an adrenaline rush (or whatever demons produced). He felt himself step into his combat stride, ready to advance or retreat at a moment's notice. Every possible escape route was marked and sorted by difficulty. He ticked off a mental checklist of everything that could go wrong with him; the backpack could pose a few problems, his left shoulder was a little stiff, and he should put less weight on his right leg. Every noise, every tiny drop in temperature, every tiny zap of static electricity was quickly scanned for potential threats and discarded.

Naoki was in perfect combat mode. All he needed to do was find out what set him off. His instincts worked faster than his brain.

"…All you need is coconut milk, milk, hot water, gelatin, sugar…"

For a moment, Naoki wondered if he wanted coconut pudding. Then he remembered whose voice that was.

Using the crowd of students walking to their next class as cover, Naoki walked closer to the voice.

Bingo. The gang leader from the other night was sitting on a bench, talking to another student.

"There will be a film of pure fat. It tastes good, but if you want to get rid of it…"

Naoki quickly ducked behind a convenient wall, attracting a few stares. He got out his phone and pretended to read something.

"I need to get to class. See you tomorrow."

Naoki's heart sank. He had to go to his computer science class. For a moment, he wondered if it was worth missing a lecture on recursion, something he still didn't understand even when he got Kazuya to patiently explain.

 _What's all the fuss about, anyway?_ his rational brain added. _She's not a demon. She can fight, but what's so special about that? You need to go to class._

 _Are you my rational size or the rationalizing side?_

 _I could be either._

 _But if you're my rational brain, who's thinking this?_

 _This metaphor doesn't work._ The voice vanished in a puff of logic.

Naoki rubbed his temples. _I have trusted my instincts in the part, but I have gotten false alarms before. Even if I had a low rate of false alarms in the past, the low probability of discovering someone who could put me in danger compared to the number of people I scan every-_

"You're not very good at sneaking up on people, are you?"

"No, not—Aah!"

The gang leader was right next to him. "Rule number seven, aka, the Peekaboo rule. Just because you can't see someone doesn't mean they can't see you."

Naoki's first instincts told him to beat the intruder to death, but conditioning held him back better than his rational mind. He never attacked someone who was talking to him.

"You did a good job disguising yourself this time; face paint and a hat isn't a real disguise," the gang leader continued. She was standing well out of punching range. "Why are you following me?"

Naoki blinked. "I thought you were following me!"

"Cut the crap," said the leader, sticking her right hand in her coat.

Naoki would have gotten into his combat stance if he hadn't already been in it. "I guess you're finally doing this in the open," he said.

"There aren't any witne…" The gang leader's eyes flitted from side to side. "Is there anyone behind me?" she asked.

Naoki blinked. "No," he said.

"And there's no one behind you."

Naoki did not sense any hostiles behind him. "…I'll take your word for it."

"Cal," muttered the gang leader. "Do you know what this means?"

Naoki froze as he the revelation hit him. "…Class already started."

The gang leader quickly took her hand out of her pocket and zipped it back up. "Let's settle this later," said the gang leader. "Meet me at the abandoned power plant at midnight tonight. Come alone."

"What abandoned power plant?"

"The abandoned power plant at the other side of… just look it up," said the leader, running off.

X

It took Naoki a while to find the abandoned power plant. He couldn't find a web site for it, or even a Google Maps location, so he had to trawl through Haruhata's sparse Wikipedia article to find a mention of a power plant that was abandoned in the eighties due to budget cuts. He then had to cross reference a bunch of aerial photographs to find any nearby landmarks, and then trawl through about a dozen chain supermarkets on Google Maps to find the one that was next to the 24-hour doughnut shop.

Then he had to do more physics homework.

By the time Naoki reached the abandoned power plant, he realized that the gang leader hadn't said anything about where they were supposed to meet inside the power plant. Luckily, the gang leader had realized this, and was sitting right in front of the main entrance next to a campfire.

"You look cold," she said.

Naoki had just realized that he forgot to bring his jacket. "You… don't." The leader was wearing a large trenchcoat straight out of a 1930s gangster flick.

"Ever since the day I met you, I've been wondering who you were," said the gang leader. "You're not human, that's obvious enough."

Naoki blinked. "How did-"

"You parried a metal bat with your bare arm, punched me into a wall, and got your head slammed against pavement with no apparent injury," said the gang leader, ticking off with her fingers. "I don't know how you expected to get away with that." She paused. "Although I suppose you could be a cyborg or some kind of enhanced human, but you just said you weren't."

"…I'm bad at this, aren't I?"

"You're definitely a student; you were worried about being late to class," continued the leader. "That's a point in your favor; I know you haven't been stalking me."

"How do I know you haven't been following me?" said Naoki. "How do I know you're really a student?"

"If I were following you, I wouldn't get caught," said the leader confidently.

"…That's not proof, that's just bragging," said Naoki.

"If I were following you, then I wouldn't have to test you like that," said the leader, less confidently that time.

"Yes, but what if you're diverting suspicion away from yourself by accusing me?" said Naoki.

The leader paused. "…Why would I want to foll-"

"You said it yourself; you've wanted to know who I was since you met me," said Naoki. "How do I know that you haven't set up this whole 'coincidental' meeting so that you could interrogate me?"

"I have several friends who can vouch for me, like the one who was with me earlier," said the gang leader. "If you think they're in on it, there's something called a student directory. And I said we were late to cl-"

Naoki raised his hands. "All right, fine. We both know we're students. Now can we-"

The leader reached into her trenchcoat and pulled out a gun. "I'm not done."

Naoki got into a combat stance. "Pull the trigger and I rip out your throat."

The edges of the leader's mouth flickered upwards. "I'll do it for 652 Macca."

"Done," said Naoki, tossing a shower of coins at the leader without hesitation.

The leader stowed away her gun. "You're no ordinary demon."

Naoki gave her no leverage.

"I'll admit, I haven't spoken with many demons before," said the gang leader. "But I have known several humans who share your mannerisms. You make threats the same way they do, but you talk your way out of trouble, and bribe or take bribes when necessary."

"And your point is?"

"You may be a demon, but you negotiate like a demon summoner," said the gang leader. "Who are you?"

Naoki sighed. "What makes you think I'm going to tell you anything? You're just throwing inferences at me until I squeal. What do you think this is, a _Detective Conan_ epis-"

The gang leader drew a sword hidden inside her trenchcoat. "Then I'll just have to beat it out of you, malchick!" She started to charge at Naoki.

 _All right, I'm pretty sure that never happened in_ Detective Conan.

Naoki held his ground, preparing to jump to the side. The leader definitely had some trick up her sleeve. The obvious answer was the gun. He wasn't bulletproof; he needed the Masakados Magatama for that. Except she already showed it off earlier, so she pro- [5]

Naoki jumped to the side a moment before he was in whip range, sliding a little on the concrete, and-

A zigzag of yellow light flashed in midair. Pain erupted throughout Naoki's body, and he fell to his knees, paralyzed.

Naoki ran a cursory check. Nothing seemed too badly damaged; the Wadatsumi Magatama made lightning more effective against him, but his natural toughness countered it. The worst part of Magtama weaknesses was pain; even if his rational mind knew that he could weather his weaknesses, the pain still distracted him long enough for enemies to get another free attack.

He couldn't defend himself while paralyzed, but that should wear off in…

Bambambambambam!

A flurry of bullets bounced off of his skull; it didn't hurt him as much as the lightning, but she shot him from out of Gaea Rage range.

Wait for it…

The gang leader reloaded her handgun, walking backwards.

This is taking way too long.

The gang leader hurled another bolt of yellow lightning at him.

Oh, come on.

The leader shot him again.

Zap.

Bambambambambam!

Zap.

Bambambambambam!

Zap.

Bambambambambam!

Zap.

Eventually, the leader ran out of bullets.

"…Cal, you're tough," said the gang leader at last, taking off a pair of headphones that Naoki didn't notice were there.

Naoki didn't say anything. He was still paralyzed.

"Now will you answer my questions?"

Naoki didn't say anything.

"…Right, that will wear off on its o-"

The world vanished in a blaze of white light. One of the weaknesses of Freikugel was that Naoki couldn't see while it was in use; using your eyes to shoot lasers rendered them temporarily unable to perform their usual function of absorbing light. Once his sight was restored and his eyes adjusted to the dark, he could see the tunnel of destruction in front of him, but he couldn't tell if he had landed a direct hit on the gang leader, or if it missed entirely.

"…Sodding hell," said the gang leader from behind him, echoing Naoki's thoughts exactly.

Naoki got to his feet. "You cheap, trigger-happy spammer!" he yelled as he charged at the leader. The leader stood her ground and threw knives at him with her left hand, but she wasn't very accurate, so Naoki ignored it. Her right hand was still in her coat.

Just before he was in what Naoki guessed was whip range, he stopped, and allowed the gang leader to overswing her sword in the space where he would have been. The moment it reached where his heart would have been, Naoki slid in, yanked her sword arm towards him, and punched her in the chest.

The leader's ribs shattered, not with a single crack, but with many little crunching noises accompanied by wet squishy sounds. The leader staggered back.

She was critically injured; just one strike to fi-

 _Jesus Christ, you're going to kill her!_

Naoki froze. His eyes met the leader's, and suddenly he saw the eyes of Jyoji Hijiri.

" _I've made many sacrifices in my lifetime. But, I've always followed the path I believe in. Just remember, you'll pay a high price for following that path."_

 _Seriously, why Hijiri?! If I'm going to be blinded by guilt, why not someone who I k-_

 _Their expressions are identical. She faces death with the same warning as-_

 _Holy hell, they actually look really alik-_

The air hummed with electricity. Naoki leapt back, but was too slow; several bolts of lightning burst in every direction, hitting the fence, a few trees, and Naoki.

Naoki's body seized up, and the leader snatched up her sword and buried it into Naoki's chest, leaning into it to support her half-dead body.

"…Do you want… continue?" said the leader, shuddering and breathing heavily. Naoki unclenched his hand, and his mouth filled with acid when he felt the thin, smooth stick that wasn't a stick slide out of his bloody hands.

The sword in his gut jiggled when he moved his arm, and his chest blossomed with pain. The lightning and the bullets hacked away quite a large chunk of his stamina to begin with.

All that, he could live with. He'd suffered far worse wounds before. But nothing healed the wounds in his heart.

"…Is it too late to talk?" said Naoki, intentionally feebly.

"…no," said the leader, putting her foot on Naoki's chest and grabbing the sword's handle "Hold still."

Before Naoki could vocalize an answer, the leader yanked the sword out in the exact manner that you are not supposed to do, splashing blood and glowing red lymph everywhere. Before Naoki could shout in pain or anger, the air filled with a pale blue-green glow.

Naoki's wounds vanished. Healing spells always felt strange; they didn't quite have a feel, but the sudden absence of pain was a sensation in and of itself.

The leader healed herself, rubbed her torso, and winced. "Have you seen my rib?"

Naoki pointed at it. She picked it up. "I'll get it fixed later."

"If you're going for Stockholm Syndrome, I haven't forgotten who shot first," said Naoki halfheartedly. "And now you know that you won't get answers out of me that way."

"And I know you don't want to kill me," said the leader. "That's all I wanted to know."

 _Did she plan this? Can I really trust anyone who—_

 _No, seriously, how could anyone plan something this random without_ —

 _Wait, did she just use magic?_

 _The only humans I know who could use magic used a Terminal or fused with a demon, but it looked like—_

 _Come to think of it, Manikins could use magic, so—_

 _How the hell did she get this good? I'm the Demi-Fiend! I've slaughtered gods and devils by the thousands, brought low the mighty creator, and killed death itself nine times! How could she—?_

 _Would she have healed herself anyways and killed me if I hadn't given up?_

 _Where is her gang? Why didn't she try to kill me in front of them? Why—_

 _Seriously, what was the point of goading me like that? Did she overestimate her skill, or was she actually manipulating me into—_

 _No, intentionally almost dying and gambling on my mercy is so stupid—_

 _Where did she get that gun? And that sword? And—_

The edges of the leader's mouth twitched upwards. "Judging by your silence, it looks like you have some questions for me," she said. "You ask your questions, I ask mine. We all go home happy."

Naoki growled. "Fine," he said. "First question. What is your name?"

The leader's eyes narrowed. "That's not on the table."

"I can live with not knowing anything. Can you?"

Naoki did not use contracts on his demons. He naturally had the power to summon and dismiss demons, but there was no magic binding them to his service. Naoki's demons only listened to him because they respected his strength. Not even the most dishonorable among them would betray him for another they thought stronger than he; the only way to prove it was to kill Naoki, and if they miscalculated, they would meet a swift and bloody end at his hands.

In most cases, he was stronger than they; after all, he couldn't talk them into joining if he wasn't, and the Minister refused to make demons stronger than his customers. The exceptions were the demons who evolved and the results of the Minister's fusion errors, but the evolved demons respected him after he led them through so many battles, and the fusion accident demons thought that anyone who fused them must be stronger and didn't even try to test him (although the Minister told Naoki not to push his luck).

Not surprisingly, Naoki had a strong aversion to lower bargaining positions. He'd paid the barest of lip service to Gozu-Tennou, and working for the Old Man in the Wheelchair was about as uncomfortable as it was enlightening (and Naoki was about 81% sure that he was the Devil).

The agreement was ostensibly between equals, but this was half blackmail. With violence off the table, all he could do was blackmail her back.

"…Spoken like a true demon summoner," said the leader with grudging approval.

 _Did I just say that out loud?_

The leader cleared her throat. "I am call-"

"No nicknames, no lies, no half-truths, no 'I'm known as The Crushernator' or 'You may call me Marth,'" snapped Naoki. "Your real name." He held out his hand. "My name is Naoki Kashima, of the Fiend race. What's yours?"

The leader took his hand and gave him a crushing handshake. "Aoi. Aoi Miyama."

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Kazuya's tunnel vision: This is a reference to how objects are shown in SMT1. When you're indoors, you can't see enemies or NPCs until you're on their tile.

[2] Daleth-Omicron-Charlie clearance: These three letters correspond to a different category. In the first category, Aleph is the lowest and Tav is the highest, for the second, Alpha is the highest and Omega is the lowest, and for the third, Alfa is the lowest and Zulu is the highest. In theory, you can have Zulu-level clearance but can't see Beth-level secrets.

[3] Magnetite: I made up the Magic Net Field Effect. In _Digital Devil Story_ , Magnetite was called Magnetite because demons used a special magnetic field to manifest, but no one ever referred to magnetic fields in any other game.

[4] Gotou and Thorman: When I first played the SMT1, I thought that the Gotou-Thorman conflict was out of sheer paranoia. We only have the word of the other that Gotou wants to summon Lucifer and Thorman wants to create the Thousand Year Kingdom, but we do see that Thorman (says he) wants to nuke Japan to keep the world from being overrun with demons, and Gotou stops at nothing to save his country. I think fear is a more interesting motivation than righteous smiting. I'm not saying that they were innocent of the other's accusations, but Kazuya doesn't know if they were or not.

On another note, I like how the Messians and Gaians are first introduced as flavored healing shops, but then they're THE major players of the franchise. It's like how the Big Bang Burger is introduced as another shop, but then turns out to be huge in Persona 5. I also like how the motto 'work all the time, because no day or night in space' turns out to be important.

[5] Naoki is bulletproof with Masakados: He's not, he just thinks he is. Masakados only blocks elements that were in Nocturne, so the Demi-Fiend is not immune to guns or earth magic. Naoki doesn't know that the gun element exists at all; he got Masakados long after fighting Dante/Raidou, so he's never been shot with it equipped.

Aoi is one of the names of the heroine of SMT1. There are no canon names, just a few suggestions, and I liked Aoi the best (and now it's too late to change). Maki was taken by the _Persona 1_ heroine, Yuka sounds nice but SMT is full of Yu- names with a k (Yumiko, Yuriko, Yuko, Yukari, Yukiko, and maybe Yu), and Futsuko sounded like they were trying too hard to pair her name with the Hero's.

Originally, Aoi wasn't supposed to be named until a big reveal a dozen chapters in, but then I figured that readers probably wouldn't put up with a mysterious heroine who can match the Demi-Fiend, no matter how cheap her tactics.

I always thought of Aoi of 1999 as being in her twenties and Aoi of the future as a teenager. I played the iOS version, which censored underage drinking (bars served alcohol, but if you tried to buy any, you'd be served juice instead), and I thought it would be amusing if Aoi was legal, but she couldn't use her ID without being arrested like every other Aoi in the city. I changed it to 19 in 1999 (22 in the present storyline) because that's the oldest I could make her while still being a college student. She had to be a student because if she wasn't, she'd have no reason to be in Haruhata.

It turns out that 18-19 is the only age she could be in 1999. Just one year older, and she'd have missed the freshmen entirely. Any younger, and she'd have trouble with college entrance exams and the Resistance. If she were a third year, maybe the Resistance would listen to her, but she'd find the exams impossible because she's cramming three years of school in two months (exams start in January, SMT starts in October). First year, she'd pass exams, but the Resistance would be less likely to listen to her. Second year, exams are difficult, but I doubt the Resistance would listen. I'm not worried about how she does in college because apparently Japanese colleges are generally easier, and there's a lot more free study time.

Aoi probably had a decent baseline education; the Messians are charitable enough to give all children the best possible education, albeit highly politically charged. Math and hard sciences had to survive if they could build Tokyo Millennium. She'd learn foreign languages in her adult life, since Tokyo Millennium had lots of immigrants. History, political and economic theory, and literature would suffer the most, because those depend more on books than the others. Her main problem would be reviewing; it's been so long that she might as well relearn it all.

The weird language that Kazuya, Aoi, and her gang speaks is Nadsat, the futuristic slang from _Clockwork Orange_. Like almost every quirk of language in this story, they're not literally speaking it; it's just an approximation of how future slang sounds from the perspective of modern Japanese speakers.

OMAKE: Language Barrier

(In my first drafts, Kazuya spoke much more clinically than he does now. I toned it down when he sounded like a robot and I sounded like I couldn't write dialogue.)

"Hey, Kazuya," said Mina.

"Yes?" said Kazuya.

"How come you speak so… weirdly?" said Mina.

"I do not know what you are talking about," said Kazuya. "Please tell me how my speech sounds strange."

"See? Like that!" said Mina. "No one talks like that! It's like you're standing on ceremony with the Prime Minister, but you've never heard of a synonym! Do people talk like that all the time in the future?"

Kazuya sighed. "I speak like this because I want to appear normal," he said.

"You call that robot-talk normal?"

"If I did not try to speak like this, then I will appear abnormal," said Kazuya. "It is not normal for someone my age to speak like someone from forty or fifty years ago. I will not be understood if I speak like someone from the future. I am trying to use basic words and grammar rules that do not easily change over time."

Mina whistled. "Makes sense. I guess when you're your age, you don't easily learn new languages, especially when it's technically your own. Guess you can't just read a slang dictionary, eh? Not that those are any good."

Kazuya shook his head. "It is hard to predict how a language will evolve. When a language changes, syntax changes, grammar changes, and pronunciation changes."

"Huh," said Mina. "Could you give me an example?"

"Grottier than a bodacious dook's neezhnies after a shive yet, that cool cat baboochka's starry threads, skinny though, cor, ain't spoogy to staja, ten four. Catch you on the flip side, bratty."

"…What?"

"I understand the following statement: while it is true that likable old woman's old clothes are uglier than an interesting ghost's underwear after it has been cut, she is not afraid of prison. Salutations on my departure, and I wish to see you again, brother."

"Language is strange," said Mina.

"Fish have no word for water," said Kazuya. "By the way, what does 'lit' mean, and how might I acquire some?"

Meanwhile…

"Group up, me droogs. Tonight is a raid on the Kirijo Building. If the millicents come round, shack up in the biblio until it's safe."

The gang looked at one another. Saitou's brow furrowed in confusion. At last, Sei spoke up. "Does that mean… we're going to stay at the library if the police see us?"

Aoi beamed. "Knew I kept ya' around for a reason, mate."

Note: Kazuya uses 70s and 80s slang in addition to Nadsat. I didn't use real 90s slang because it won't sound as dated as 70s and 80s slang; it's less important that Kazuya sounds like he's from the 90s than that he's forty years out of date.

OMAKE #2 The stupid twist

"So… where are you from?" Naoki asked.

"Kichijoji," said Aoi.

"Huh," said Naoki. "That's where my roommate's from."

"Maybe I know him," said Aoi. "What's his name?"

"Kazuya Kawamoto."

Aoi blinked. "Kazyua Kawamoto? He lives next door!"

"Wow, really?" said Naoki. "What are the odds?"

"Where are you from?"

"Ueno."

"My boyfriend's from Ueno!"

"Really? What's his name?"

"Yoshio Asuka."

"I don't know him."

There was another awkward pause.

"So… I hear _Dawn of the Dead_ is showing. You guys want to come?"

Aoi glared. "I hate zombies."

"Oh. Okay then."

(In _Shin Megami Tensei 1_ , every woman and girl in Tokyo who shares the heroine's name is arrested to find the heroine. The hero's neighbor, who is also a party member's girlfriend, also shares the heroine's name. She is turned into a zombie and asks to be exorcised).


	5. Chapter 5: (In)Effective Communication

The Law and Chaos heroes of SMT1, like the Hero and Heroine, only have suggested names. In this story, the Law Hero is Yoshio Asuka and the Chaos Hero is Takeshi Fudou, after Ryou Asuka and Akira Fudou of _Devilman_. Kazuya's surname, Kawamoto, comes from minor character Mikiko Kawamoto.

I admit Aoi and Naoki's conflict in the last chapter was a bit rushed. After every other peaceful and rational resolution, I wanted one where things went sour. And I wanted to invoke the foreshadowing that Naoki was weak to electric attacks.

In this story, there is no pecking order of power. I don't want to tout one character as the strongest in the franchises; I know how annoying it is to see your favorites being beaten to make the author's favorites look good (especially pitting entire franchises against each other). Instead, everyone has advantages or disadvantages against other people, with no one on top. After all, it's never in doubt that Julius can kill Soma, even if he lost against Dario, whom Soma defeated. Just because the Mysterious Villain suddenly shows up and defeats the Demi-Fiend doesn't mean he's the Biggest Threat to the Universe Ever; a dedicated sniper could chip him down.

That said, I will cheat and make the weaker one win if the plot requires it. I might add a handicap, give or take away weapons or advantages, or even make someone lucky. Even in fair fights, being better doesn't mean winning every time, just winning most of the time. To soften the blow, I'll try to explain my reasoning.

Given how customizable these characters are, these are just my interpretations of their fighting styles and stats; I do not claim to be the ultimate authority. I'm not using Diamond Realm DLC because the pre-Cataclysm Hero is somehow equal to the endgame protagonists (but I am using Kazuya's affinity for swords and Aleph's proclivity towards guns).

Naoki is a close-combat brawler whose greatest strengths are his power and durability; he's the primary damage dealer. Aoi is flexible and has multiple roles; she is a secondary damage dealer and a last resort healer, but her primary role is to attack first and Shock as many enemies as she can, so she's fast. Magic aside, she has a range advantage just by using weapons like whips and spears against fists. Of course, Naoki can finish the fight with a Gaea Rage whenever he wants… but who wastes a Gaea Rage on a random encounter?

From Naoki's point of view, Aoi is the fast, annoying enemy that spams Bind ailments, and can kill the whole party despite being ten levels lower. From Aoi's point of view, Naoki is That Boss ten levels above her. She's guaranteed to move before him, so if she can Shock Naoki, she has a very good chance of winning, but if Naoki hits her once, she's dead. I'd say it's 3:1 odds in Naoki's favor; 25% is a frustratingly high chance of being killed by a random encounter, and three times is a decent number of times to lose against a boss.

I heard that the people who worked on SMT4 and/or Apocalypse didn't know Stephen was based on Stephen Hawking. I think they knew, but didn't want to get sued. I also think he has the synthesizer in SMT1 and 2, but uses telepathy in later games.

The ending of Persona 5 has been spoiled, but I haven't finished it. I don't know what's public knowledge; does the average citizen know that the Phantom Thieves used supernatural means, or even their codenames? For the sake of the story, I assume the supernatural has not been made public. I plan on including some scenes where the Tokyo-based protagonists bring up intersections with the plot of Persona 5.

IT FINALLY MAKES SENSE! In the original Megami Tensei, the heroine Yumiko is the reincarnation of Izanami, but she also meets Izanami as a separate entity. I thought it was a Megaten-specific quirk, but the manga _Akuma no Hanayome_ has Venus and her reincarnation also exist as separate entities. According to Chinese beliefs (imported to Japan), the soul is made from two parts, and after death, one reincarnates and the other stays on earth.

Minor clarification: Naoki doesn't have a split personality or someone else in his head talking to him. I just represent his thoughts as arguing with himself because he didn't have anyone to talk to in the first chapter, and it stuck.

 **Who knows what** :

Only the cast of Castlevania knows that Soma is Dracula, and Kazuya only knows he knows magic.

Soma and Mina know that Kazuya is a summoner, and Yoko and the Agents know that there is a summoner in Haruhata, but not that it's Kazuya.

Soma and Mina know of the alternate universe where Kazuya is from.

Aoi knows Naoki is a demon. Her gang knows that he has superhuman strength, but nothing else about him.

How to Communicate (In)effectively

" _At times, it can be difficult to resist the urge to garrote someone after you discover that they withheld information that_ _ **would have been useful before you walked into that spider-infested forest without a map**_ _. Before you attract the attention of the local constable and meet your doom at the hands of another rope, keep in mind three things. One, you are a stranger in this land, and few would entrust strangers with their darkest secrets, s_ _ **uch as the haberdasher's affair with the apothecary**_ _. Two, it is difficult to appraise the worth of information in the eyes of others; the fact that the cobbler is literate might not come up in casual conversation. Three, your grasp of the local language is probably imperfect. That said, you are responsible for asking for clarifications and providing them when necessary. However, there is no excuse for_ _ **not telling someone that the antidote for spider bites uses vodka as a solvent**_."

-Diary of Leon Belmont, dated three days after the infamous Burning of Atterheim Woods incident. The bolded text was pressed so deeply into the page that the impressions in the following pages were visible 900 years after they were written

Of the many demon races Aoi knew and fought, Fiends were by far the most mysterious. Both Kazuya and Aoi had only encountered three Fiends in their entire lives: David in Ginza, the White Rider in Tokyo Destinyland, and Daisoujou in a broom closet in the Basilica. Each time, they had only emerged victorious after heavy losses, and earned little more than a fancy violin and a hefty bill from the healers. When Kazuya asked the Minister of the Mansion of Heretics a few questions on how to fuse one, the Minister shook his head and said fusing a Fiend required special materials.

"Aoi Miyama?" repeated Naoki Kashima. "Wow, that's… those are like the generic names you hear more than the names everyone says is generic."

Treating Naoki Kashima the way Kazuya negotiated with demons was a mistake. Aoi had thought that he was imitating humans by behaving like the humans who spoke with demons, but he didn't drop the mask under pressure.

"What were you expecting?" asked Aoi. "Something with 'lightning' or 'warrior' in it? Something thematically significant and pretentiously overblown? Or you thought I was related to someone famous?"

Picking a fight was an even worse mistake. Aoi had challenged him to assert dominance, the way Kazuya did, except she'd forgotten that he never attacked to show how strong he was. Once he knew she was stronger, she could let him go, because he'd know she could kill him if he stepped out of line.

Except Naoki hadn't been cowed, and if he hadn't shown _her_ mercy at the last second, she could have died.

"I don't know what I was expecting," admitted Naoki. "It is a nice name, though."

The more Naoki spoke, the more human he seemed. Aoi knew many people who were a mix of human and demon, but Naoki didn't seem to fit in the usual three categories (Demonoid, Nephilim, and Vector). In fact—

Wait a minute.

"Let us continue this conversation elsewhere," said Aoi.

"What?" said Naoki. "We just got here! What's the point of calling me all the way out here if—"

"An abandoned power plant on the edge of town is a good place for a secret meeting," said Aoi. "The site of an explosion that levelled a dozen trees isn't."

Naoki looked back at the tunnel of destruction. "I guess it is pretty obvious something happened, but they'd have to come all this way to-"

"Do you have any idea how bright it was?" said Aoi.

Naoki shook his head. "Are you sure it's that bright, or does it just hurt your night vision?"

Aoi shrugged. "Why take chances? If we start running now, we can dodge the rozz."

"The what?"

"The, um… fuzz," said Aoi, trying to recall how her grandmother/mother referred to people who caught criminals. "Thieftakers? Pigs? Feds?"

"The police?"

"Yes, the police," said Aoi.

Naoki cocked his head to the side. "Seriously, what is with your accent?"

"Not important," said Aoi, taking one step towards him. He stepped back. "I can warp us out, but I need to touch you. If you want answers, get over here."

Moving more like a skittish Bai Ze than the Fiend he truly was, Naoki walked towards her, and Aoi put her hand on his.

"Traport."

X

There wasn't a lot to say after Mina let Kazuya go. Mutters of thanks, an offer of dinner, an offer of dessert, a revelation that two of them spent the entire conversation without introducing each other, some introductions, another mutter of good night. Kazuya left first, leaving Soma and Mina alone. They didn't have much to say, either, and bade each other good night.

Soma had gone on a snack run, so when he came back, Kazuya had already left for the communal bathroom (unless Kazuya had decided that a towel and toiletries would serve him better when running for his life than food and a computer). Rather than return to his homework or gather his things for the shower as well, Soma sat quietly, deep in thought.

By the time Kazuya returned, Soma had made up his mind.

"Let's do this while Mina's not here," said Soma. "You have questions. You wanted to ask them, but after Mina did you the favor of forgiving you, you feel asking for more would be impertinent. Or you had to submit for her mercy, and breaking that mask and acting like yourself would send you straight to jail. Maybe both. The point is, I have the time and I've never cared that you're a demon summoner."

Kazuya looked momentarily taken aback, before his face hardened into the usual stone.

"I've lived with you for almost a year, Kazuya," continued Soma. "I know how persistent you get when you care, and I know damn well how frustrating it is to not have your questions answered. If we don't do this now, you'll… go behinds our backs and do whatever arcane hacker magic you do."

"I'm a programmer, not a hacker," said Kazuya flatly.

"Then how did you get your money back from that scam?"

"I lied. I used a demon."

Soma shrugged. "Whatever you're planning, don't do it. Just ask; it'll be easier than spying." He leaned in closer and whispered, "I have no idea how thin our walls are, so let's assume that the people next door can hear everything we say. How about we pretend we're talking about… Eternal Punishment Online character creation?"

Kazuya nodded, and said at a normal volume, "I only have two questions. Can you answer for Mina, too?"

"I'll try, but I might get some things wrong," said Soma.

"Good enough. First, what are your…skills, and how does your character know demons are real? Did Stephen make a portal?" Kazuya paused. "I mean, was there a scenario where someone named Stephen made a portal, like in… um… what was the one before Eternal Punishment?"

Soma shook his head, and leaned in again. "You know what? Save the roleplaying for when people can see us. Let's just whisper."

"Ten-four," Kazuya whispered back.

"…I'm going to assume that means yes. The only physicist named Stephen I've ever heard of is Stephen Hawking, and he died before I was born. All I know about him is that he did quantum physics and had a wheelchair and voice synthesizer."

Kazuya stared. "…My Stephen had those, too."

Soma shrugged. "Then it's probably him. Anyways, if our Stephen made that portal, either trains and boats would be obsolete, or demons would be common knowledge by now. Or maybe it takes too much power to run a teleporter."

"No, they worked just fine when I'm from," said Kazuya. "Even before proper infrastructure was restored, I could wake up in Shinjuku's Underground Mall, spend the whole day killing demons in Ginza Station, and be back at Tokyo Destinyland by teatime. According to Stephen, you could harvest infinite (or a finite but arbitrarily large amount of) energy using the Demon World. He fixed my COMP so it never runs out of power, too."

Soma blinked. "You still had Destinyland in the future?"

"Enough of the castle survived for the survivors to turn it into a fortress. But we're getting off topic. Why do you and Mina know about demons?"

"Well, it all started two y-" Soma stopped. "It's technically because of Mina, so you need to know about her first. Her family has kept a shrine for… I don't know how long, so she's been doing magic since she was eight." He paused. "Well, that's more magic than demons, but all part of the same package."

"Then why didn't she use it on me or Cerberus?"

Soma shrugged. "You'll have to ask her, but I don't think she knows any offensive spells. I've seen her heal, and her family can seal, and maybe she can do wards and exorcisms, but I haven't seen her fight." As a safety precaution, Soma wasn't allowed to know any more about the Hakuba skillset than he already did. In theory, he wasn't supposed to know about the Belmont and Belnades family techniques, but there wasn't much point if Dracula had already seen their traditional arsenal anyways. Sometimes, Soma wondered if there were other hunter families that he wasn't allowed to know about.

 _Wait, wouldn't it seem weird if you didn't know if she could fight?_ Kali interrupted.

 _Yeah, you're her best friend!_ a Student Witch chirped. _Why wouldn't she tell you?_

 _Darn, you're right_ , Soma thought. _All right, excuses, excuses…_

 _Too difficult_ , suggested Stolas.

 _Too boring?_ Werejaguar suggested.

 _Not enough time_ , added Skeleton Farmer.

 _She's ashamed of her weakness_ , said a Witch.

Kazuya crossed his arms. "If I ask Mina for information, she will become suspicious."

Internally, Soma cheered. "I guess so," he said. "You don't need to worry about her, anyways. Like you said, if she knew offensive spells, she would have used them by now."

Kazuya nodded. "What about you? Did she tell you?"

Soma shrugged. "Technically, she told me when we were kids, but that doesn't count because she wasn't allowed to show me anything, and I thought it was a game. I only really knew after about two years ago. Remember that eclipse, last year of high school?"

Kazuya nodded.

"That's the day," said Soma. "A long time ago, Mina's family sealed the castle of an evil wizard inside of a solar eclipse."

Kazuya blinked. "How is that even possible?"

Soma shook his head. "I don't know."

"I'm not talking about how the magic worked; how can physical object be placed inside a moment in time?" asked Kazuya. "Was it on the moon? Did the castle only exist when there was a solar eclipse? Or was it some metaphor, like the castle was moved to the same cave where Amaterasu sealed herself?"

"I asked, but it was too complicated." This wasn't a lie. Mina had explained it as best she could when they were in Castlevania, before she knew he was Dracula, but it didn't make sense (especially when a dozen magic users were shouting even more confusing laws and addendums about the subject at once). After they escaped, she condensed it to a memo, but wasn't allowed to give it to him for more security reasons. "Anyways, regardless of how they managed it, the seal was leaky. When we came to watch the eclipse, it almost broke. The castle was still sealed, but it could still draw people in. One moment, I was climbing some stairs, and then BAM! I'm on the floor of an evil castle inside of a solar eclipse, which was somehow locked in perpetual night with a full moon even though solar eclipses are new moons by definition."

Kazuya crossed his arms. "Is this relevant?"

"No, just bizarre," said Soma. "It turned out that I'm the reincarnation of a powerful wizard, which is why I can use magic. The evil wizard's castle was full of monsters, and getting attacked by one triggered my powers." As soon as he said it, Soma cursed inwardly; volunteering too much information, especially in front of someone who might have known other magic users, was a terrible bluff.

Kazuya just nodded. "I've seen that before. Stress isn't enough; I heard that latent magic reacts to sources of active magic. Most magic users I met in 1999 only discovered they had magic after the demons came."

Soma hid his sigh of relief as best he could, and forced his body to relax as he as he tried to ask as casually as possible, "Just curious. You said the Resistance Leader reincarnated, too, didn't she? How did you know it was her? Did she have the same magic?"

Kazuya blinked. "It wasn't that she had the same magic… well, she did, but her arsenal is so generic that it's not proof. She had the same name and she looked almost the same… well, her…um… her father in this life was her cousin in her last life, and he named his daughter after… well, herself, so that doesn't count. But she did have some memories from her past life. The way she fought, too, was the same; it was completely different from the Messi—how the people who raised her. We also had this… psychic link that carried over."

Soma nodded, not really paying attention. The proof wasn't important. "So she was pretty much the same person?"

"Well, she spoke a lot more bluntly the second time around, lost her precognitive powers, and I knew her for about a month in her first life and a couple of decades in her second, but I'd say yes. Philosophy might not agree with me, but they haven't proven reincarnation is real yet."

Despite himself, Soma's throat clenched. That settled it. He could not tell Kazuya the truth about himself or his powers. It felt wrong to lie to him after he'd shown his belly and spilled his heart, but now he knew that Kazuya didn't distinguish between past lives. It was one thing to admit to summoning demons in self-defense, and another entirely to admit to being the more infamous vampire to ever… live.

"What about you?" asked Kazuya. "How did you find out about your past life?"

Soma shrugged. "Someone who knew me in my last life told me," he said. Technically, he figured it out moments before Arikado showed up. "He never tells me anything, so I don't know how he knew."

Kazuya nodded. "So you're trapped in a castle, you discover you have magic powers, and reincarnation is real. What happened next?"

"Not much," said Soma. "We escaped a few weeks later, it turned out that the eclipse had just ended on the outside."

Kazuya was silent for a moment, until he realized that Soma was finished. "That's it?"

"No, we got treated to a large and expensive lunch, went home, and took a week off of school because we both needed time to reintegrate into a society where everything is too loud and no one tries to kill you," said Soma, and sighed. "Look, it's not that I'm hiding anything, it's just that I don't think you want to hear about what kind of monsters we fought or some people you'll never meet."

"…I told you about Gouto, Thorman, Ao-"

"Yes, but you had to tell us about them to explain how you traveled to the future," said Soma. "If you just want to know why I know demons are real, it would be a waste of time to tell you about the American Marine [1] who opened up a shop, the cult leader who claimed to be the reincarnation of the evil wizard who owned the castle, the amnesiac with a single-letter name, the-"

"Yes, I get the idea," said Kazuya.

A door opened in the hallway. Soma flinched, but Kazuya didn't seem to notice. "If Naoki comes in, we're going back to EP," he hissed. "I'm making the character…" Inside him, hundreds of souls clamored for attention, shouting out suggestions, each more ridiculous than the last. "…Dark Manakete Blue Mage Mathias Stormblood? It's fine if you don't remember; more realistic that way."

Kazuya whispered back, "Human Summoner Eleonora Redfern. Now, can we finish this before Naoki comes back? What kind of magic can you do?"

"I can make weapons from thin air," said Soma. "Knives, swords, axes, spears, bow and arrow, things like that. Also, curry, for some reason."

Soma had considered copping to Dominance, since it was dark magic just like summoning, and he only used it in self-defense. Except they weren't the same; all they had in common was that their powers were illegal and controlled monsters. The more Kazuya explained himself, the more Soma wanted to hug him and tell him he was safe and everything was all right; if Soma explained himself, Kazuya would slowly edge out of the room and call an exorcist, summoner status be damned. Kazuya kept the contracts at arm's length, in that computer of his, Soma imprisoned his monsters inside of his mind (in a completely non-emo way). Kazuya made contracts, Soma stole souls. Yes, Kazuya had to kill to sustain his demons, but at least he left them to their eternal rest afterwards. And Soma was pretty sure that there was some amount of mind control involved with Dominance, if none of them had kicked and screamed their way out like Dmitrii.

Also, if Soma inherited his power from his past life, it would certainly bring into question what kind of person would design magic that ripped souls out of dead monsters.

Kazuya blinked. "Oh. So you didn't need to take your coat off after all. What about fireballs?"

Darn, Soma almost forgot about that. "I can do those, too."

 _Quick, I need an excuse! What kind of a theme encompasses fire, weapons, and curry?_

 _The Forge,_ said a Werewolf.

 _The Kitchen,_ said a Werejaguar.

 _Forge!_

 _Kitchen!_

 _Forge, but you can summon curry because it too is 'hot',_ said Killer Clown.

"Is that all?" asked Kazuya.

It took Soma a moment to realize that he wasn't the one who said that. "Yes."

"Hm," said Kazuya. "You said you've been doing this for two years?"

"Yes," said Soma. Explaining how he 'lost' his powers until he found some souls last December would raise some awkward questions.

"That does raise some interesting questions," said Kazuya.

Crap.

"You and Mina are the only magic users I've met who specialized so much," continued Kazuya. "I've never met a single combat-ready magic user who didn't know any healing magic. And even the most hardcore medics knew a little offensive magic." [2]

Soma shrugged. "Really? I would have thought they would master their arts before branching out."

Kazuya blinked. "…I am honestly impressed that you two survived for that long."

Soma silently stared at Kazuya. _All right, we've spoken maybe four or five times in the past eight months, and the longest conversation we ever had was about dishes, but we all know Kazuya's not the best with people_. "…Do you really think so?" he hazarded politely.

"Yes," said Kazuya with a tone that could have been unabashed sincerity or incredibly subtle sarcasm. "Charging into a demon-infested building with one healer and only one elemental attack was incredibly brave, especially for someone as inexperienced as you."

… _There's no way that isn't sarcasm_. "Actually, I was alone the whole time, so it was just one elemental attack," said Soma, annoyed.

Kazuya's expression changed to something close to, but not quite…disgust? His mouth opened and closed several times, puffing out half-formed syllables, before he managed a strangled, " _Why_?"

Soma almost flinched. Almost. There was probably a story behind that. "There were five other people in the castle with me, besides Mina, and our goals didn't always match up," he explained. "Two were deliberately trying to avoid me—well, one was up to no good and avoided everyone, but the other just didn't want to talk to me. Another one was tracking him—the evil one—so she couldn't stop for me. I tried teaming up with the fourth, but he was so much faster that I felt bad about holding him back. The last one wanted to escape like me and Mina, but neither of them could keep up with me, so they gave up and went treasure hunting instead."

"And none of you thought survival was more important than pride?" said Kazuya icily. "You didn't want the help of people you thought were weaker than you?"

Soma blinked. Yeah, there was _definitely_ a story there. "Look, I had to go to the most dangerous parts of the castle. I wasn't going to put them in danger."

"So you left them behind?" Kazuya's voice, cold in the best of times, had dropped to the negative double digits.

Ah. That explained it. Soma could see it now: Kazuya, rushing off to an urgent summons, neglecting the defenses around his loved ones, and—

Soma hadn't realized his hands were shaking. "I didn't just dump them in a closet, if that's what you're asking," he said behind gritted teeth. "Someone—the one who was avoiding me and wasn't evil—put up a barrier up at the entrance. No monster could get through. They were safe there."

Kazuya blinked owlishly, anger clouded by confusion. "So… you didn't abandon your comrades the second you stopped needing them so that you could go on a mad quest for power?"

 _Damndamndamndamnheknows—_

 _Don't be an idiot, sweetcheeks_ , said a Lilim. _He's talking about something else. I was there._

"No, of course not," said Soma.

Kazuya's shoulders relaxed, anger cooled (or thawed). "I misjudged you," he said at last. "I thought you were… no, you were trying to protect your…" He blinked. "Oh god." Kazuya cocked his head, looking at Soma as if he'd never seen him before. His expression was clearly awe; what was less clear was whether this was football fan's 'can I have your autograph' or the doctor's 'you smoke _how_ many packs a day?' "…You had absolutely no experience with magic, you hadn't even known magic was real, and you were there for… a period of time measurable in weeks. And yet you charged straight into danger to protect your friends."

"Well, I mean, you did the same thing, didn't you?" Soma blinked. _Oh god, he did the same thing without Dominance._

Kazuya waved off the compliment. "That's different. I had help. _How did you survive_?"

Soma bit back the urge to give a sarcastic reply. The longer this conversation went on, the more he was sure that Kazuya lacked any capacity for subtlety; if he thought Soma was being an idiot, it would have shown on his face.

"Let me rephrase that before you get the wrong idea," Kazuya added when he saw Soma's expression. "When… um… monsters attacked, how did you stop them from killing you? Are you good at dodging or running? Do you attack so fast that they can't hit you, or are you so strong that you can destroy them with one mighty blow? What kind of armor do you favor?"

"I… all of the above, actually," said Soma. "If I had to choose, though, dodging saved my life more than anything else. How about you?"

Kazuya shrugged. "I move more than I hit, but that doesn't give my team enough credit. My greatest strength is probably coordinating. I always had at least two healers, a… demon that could boost speed and defense, a decoy or two, and a tank."

"…Like a meat shield?" Soma's hands clenched. Disgust welled up from the depths of his heart, every drop his own. Never, at least in his life as Soma Cruz, would he treat his souls so callously. Sure, taking souls was worse than signing a contract, but at least he treated his monsters with digni—

"Call me craven if you must, but I still live," said Kazuya in a hard voice. "If you haven't already noticed, the human body is fragile. Better that my revivable minions are temporarily inconvenienced than my friends are dead."

Soma stared. "…They don't resent you?" he managed after a long pause.

"They knew what they were getting into when they joined," said Kazuya. He cocked his head to the side. "You feel sorry for them?"

"Of course I do," said Soma.

"…You're either a molodoy-headed nazz or you've got a bleeding ticker," said Kazuya. "And I'm inclined to think the latter, if you survived this long."

"…Come again?"

"You're either a naïve idiot or you've got enough shilarny for all the Sammy shaikas in—I mean, too nice for your own good. Anyone who can pity the same things that attack them are-"

 _Look out the window, this instant!_

Soma jolted up and bolted to the window.

… _Who said that, and what am I looking at?_

 _Art thou so callous that thou cannot recall the names of—_

 _Just get to the point, Amalric Sniper #6, who shot me five times before I took you down with three axes, two—_

 _Can thou see the mountains beyond thy school?_

Soma shifted his position. All he could see was a black sky and some blacker jagged triangles dotted with multicolored lights, but that was just him. It would have been easy to say that his souls could see and hear what he saw and heard and call it a day, but that wasn't quite accurate; they used the same light that entered his eyes and the same pressure waves that entered his ears, but they interpreted it differently. The tsuchinoko rambled on and on about the beauty of infrared, the werebeasts couldn't stand dog whistles, and most of them had better night vision than he did.

 _As I suspected. That was no ordinary light._

"What do you see?" Kazuya hissed.

"Nothing," said Soma. _Is it something that can wait? And don't tell me what's there; that would be suspicious._

 _Judging by the wind speed today, flying shouldn't take more than—_

 _Thank you, Malphas, but that's not what I'm worried about. I'm sticking with the forge theme, and that means nothing but weapons, fire, and curry in front of my roommate._

 _Well, you_ are _turning into a_ bat _._

 _I appreciate the thought, but that joke doesn't work in Japanese, Killer Clown._

 _Yeah, it can wait, but I suggest you go check it out before tomorrow._

 _Thank you, Skeleton Archer._

Kazuya crossed his arms. "Soma. I'm not an idiot. What is going on?"

"I don't know, but something's wrong," said Soma. "Did you see that light?" _Don't tell me what's there; I shouldn't be able to see that._

Kazuya uncrossed his arms. "How should I know? You were the one facing the window."

 _Dost thou wish to know the location?_

Soma considered this. _Keep it general._

 _You can see four peaks from this window. It's on the second from the left, a third from the top._

Soma sighed. "Never mind, it doesn't look like we can make it," he lied. "I can see where it is, but I don't know which bus routes we can take."

Kazuya put on his COMP. "Who says we need the bus?"

X

Meanwhile, next door…

Ichiro Makimura looked over his eavesdropping notes. "Hm… never mind, they're LARPers. I thought they'd be good recruits for the coming revolution."

X

Meanwhile, in the other room next door…

Shinji Asuka played back the footage from next door, and concluded that they had nothing to do with Cyber Hell's inevitable assault with giant robots.

X

Naoki hated teleporting. Using the Terminals was fine; riding the flow of Magatsuhi through the Amala Network was like a roller coaster. What he hated was being forcibly warped, especially when he stepped onto the wrong tiles in the Labyrinth of Amala. It didn't exactly hurt, but the jump between points was so abrupt that Naoki couldn't get used to them; it was like watching a spliced film cartoon that jumped from a highly detailed black and white landscape to a brightly colored animation of Devilman fighting Mothra.

Aoi's teleportation spell felt more like riding up an elevator: something invisible pushing him, a sensation of the cosmos around him, and a gentle stop before returning to the world.

In this case, the world was a waiting room. Cheap folding chairs, magazines several months out of date (even a few Ayakashi Monthlies; Naoki had a subscription), tacky ornaments, drab walls, bored-looking people… it couldn't have been mistaken for anything else. All right, it could have been mistaken for a lot of things, but Naoki was pretty sure that it was a waiting room.

"Hello, _Madam Pain_ ," said a foreign man sitting at a makeshift desk, reading what looked like a child's workbook (He said _Madam Pain_ in English). "Back again?"

" _Hello, Mr. Adams_ ," said Aoi in English. Then she said some stuff in English that Naoki couldn't follow, although he could have sworn she said 'The Dude' four or five times.

"Although not having a bone is bad, your health is now good," said Mr. Adams slowly. "You cannot see the doctor now, because he is busy. Come back later tonight."

Aoi said more stuff in English. Mr. Adams repeated what she said with greater emphasis, and Aoi repeated it.

"… _Madam Pain_?" said Naoki.

"It's an alias," said Aoi. She then said more stuff in English.

Mr. Adams nodded, and wrote something down on a sheet of paper. "You speak English better than you did before."

Aoi thanked him, and said more stuff.

"What was that all about?" asked Naoki, after they said their goodbyes.

"My teleport spell can only send me to places I've designated, I can only designate one place at a time, I picked a doctor's office, I'm learning English from the secretary, and I want an appointment to get that rib fixed."

There were so many things wrong with that sentence that Naoki could only vocalize one. "At eleven at night?"

"Underground doctor," said Aoi, taking time to wave 'hi' to the other waiting patients.

"Who doesn't sleep?" said Naoki incredulously.

"Apparently not."

"New follower?" asked a patient with blue hair.

"Not today, Reaper, just a bystander," said Aoi. "Just found out about magic; showing him the ropes."

A handsome patient sitting next to the blue-haired one stood up and gave Naoki a business card. "I'm Agent Lily, of the Agency of Supernatural Investigations. If you run into any trouble, please call that number."

Naoki took it and thanked him.

"…You have business cards now?" said Aoi.

"Yeah, I know, right?" said a patient Naoki had thought was foreign until she opened her mouth. "We're secret agents! Recon duty should be spying, not advertising!"

Another foreign-looking patient sighed. "Do you think I get clients by showing up in the middle of the night and telling people they have a Kelpie problem?"

"You're new," said Aoi.

"I'm a mercenary," said the mercenary. "And you are?"

"Everyone calls me Madam," said Aoi.

"I'm…" Naoki stopped. "Should I make up an alias, too?"

"If you plan on lurking in more dark alleyways, I would," said Aoi. "Makes it harder for the millicents to get you… no offense."

"…If millicents means 'police,' none taken," said the foreign-looking agent. "I'm Yoko Belnades. And no, that is not an alias; I use my real name for professional reasons." Yoko handed them business cards. Aoi hesitated a tad too long before taking one.

Naoki gestured at the room. "Three secret agents. One mercenary. An underground doctor and a secretary. Didn't you say that there isn't an underground community?"

"Knowing one organization is not a community," said Aoi.

"Yes, but you knew him, too," said Naoki, pointing at the secretary.

Aoi said something in English to Mr. Adams, probably reassuring him that they weren't talking behind his back, before saying in Japanese, "They're bad examples. If you get into a lot of fights and your droogs aren't as good as you, you know someone who can patch you up for a minimum of deng. And if you live in the city long enough—and I mean _really_ live in the city, not just stay on campus all the time—you'll run into the Agency sooner or later. They go through clients like Team Rocket goes through schemes. But in a good way," she added quickly.

"Like a television serial," said Agent Lily.

"Next week, the Agency faces its greatest enemy: the giant robot powered by rat ghosts!" intoned Reaper in a dramatic voice. "Will Agent Seal vanquish the foe from the deep? Find out on the next episode of Secret Agent Men!"

"…We're either the worst or the best at our jobs," grumbled the foreign-looking agent who wasn't Yoko.

"Big up, Dragon, you've saved a lot of people."

"…Big up?" repeated Dragon.

"At the moment of this comment, I praise you in a generic manner and encourage your self-esteem," translated Aoi.

Reaper laughed. "Now you know how we felt, Ginko!"

"No, Dragon's better about it than Madam," said Lily. "Dragon, you consciously insert Cantonese into your sentences, and your vocabulary is limited to exclamations and less common words, like 'darling.' Madam, you don't seem to notice when you substitute common words like 'pencil' and 'chair,' and you use different words for the same thing."

Aoi shrugged. "You can tell from context, can't you? Horrorshow. New guy, we're leaving."

"Wait." Naoki turned to the agents. "Is it true that you know everyone?"

"Ehh… not everyone," said Dragon/Ginko. "Only the people we rescue."

"Daisuke Higawa," said Naoki. "Do you know him?"

The agents, minus Yoko, huddled together, whispering. Naoki's ears were sharp, but only in the sense that he could identify distant sounds; he could tell a Zhen's chirp from a Badb Catha's in a hurricane, but listening to words was difficult.

"We're looking for him, too," said Reaper when they broke the huddle. "I mean, we're looking for everyone who went missing, but he's one of them."

"We've never seen him before, though," said Dragon. "I think Tiger said she got into a fistfight with him once, but that's it."

"Your testimony would be useful, though," said Lily, taking out a notepad. "When was the last time you saw him? What was he doing?"

Naoki answered his questions as best as he could. Lily looked disappointed, but he thanked him politely.

 _Come on, if it were that easy, it would sound like a trap. Haruhata's a big city._

 _Yes, but the Vortex World is a big world, and there was no telecommunications net._

 _How big was it, really?_

 _Didn't the Amala Network count as a telecommunications net?_

 _Yeah, but only three people knew how to use it._

 _How did anyone know what was going on, anyways?_

 _And any humans would be news._

 _Wait, get into fights?_

"Madam, I want to ask the secretary something. Could you please translate?"

"How do you know I'll be translating honestly?"

"Because…" Naoki blinked. When Aoi was on the verge of death, she looked just like Hijiri, but now she resembled someone else. "Are you a teacher or something?"

The edges of Aoi's mouth twitched upwards. "You could say that."

"…What's that supposed to mean?"

"Ask me later. Oi!" Aoi waved at Mr. Adams, and said something in English. The secretary responded, and there was some back and forth, shaking of heads, consultation of a book, and what looked like a bribe. "He says that patient confidentiality is absolute."

"But you're already-"

"To know what you say, I do not need to know Japanese," said Mr. Adams in halting Japanese. "Is true, if police know doctor help you, police will arrest doctor. But we do not tell everyone we help patient because patient might kill us. If two patients fight, we help both. Help is equal."

 _It takes a special job to learn 'kill' but not 'illegal'._

"Yakuza?" said Naoki.

Mr. Adams said more stuff.

"He says he can't say, but he really means yes," said Aoi. "If you're done here, I'd like to have some questions answered."

X

Mina did not like to talk about Castlevania. It wasn't that the experience was painful or traumatizing; she couldn't explore very far in, even when Hammer lent her guns, and so the burden was mostly shifted to Soma. The worst she ever saw was zombies.

Thunk!

Therein lay the pain. Castlevania was… shameful. It was not merely embarrassing; embarrassing would be clumsily attempting to help Soma on his grand mission and failing in a hilarious and endearing manner, necessitating her inevitable rescue.

Thunk!

No, what kept Mina awake at night was the fact that she couldn't do anything. If she told her magic-using family and friends, they would rub her head and assure her that Castlevania was the apex of a vampire hunter's career and it was no shame for an apprentice miko to stand back, or they would warn her of Richter Belmont, whose ennui had left him susceptible to dark magic. And her common sense agreed.

Except it wasn't the enigmatic agent Arikado, the experienced magician Yoko, the veteran Julius, or even the Marine Hammer who conquered the castle. It was her friend Soma, the only person who was less qualified than her.

Thunk!

Of course she was happy for him, and his journey hadn't exactly been a rose-lined walk through the park, but she couldn't help but feel like a stupid damsel.

THUNK! THUNK!

Celia attacking her and Soma in the middle of the street solidified that feeling. With Castlevania, she could at least lick her wounds with the assurances that Castlevania had killed hardened warriors, and Soma's status as Dracula's reincarnation was a decent excuse for his lack of experience. It was his castle, after all.

THUNK!

Celia had just sent three grunts at her, and all she could do was cower behind yet another barrier—that she hadn't made—while Soma, with only a knife and his own soul, killed the monsters without breaking a sweat. The fake hostage trick was the nail in the coffin.

Thunk!

She hadn't even had to be there to be a burden. Soma almost took a swan dive off the deep end because he thought she was dead.

THUNK!

And then Kazuya showed up, the first shovelful of dirt on top of the coffin, and all she could do was wave a chair around in the face of a hellhound the size of a lion. To add insult to… well, insult, the smart, sane route of calling for help turned out to be the prejudiced ramblings of a stupid girl who didn't know nearly as much as she thought she did. She could have sent an innocent man to the gallows.

Thunk!

Mina didn't need to be a veteran monster hunter to know what role she was being shoved into. She just had to read books.

Thunk.

After all, what anime hadn't had the Evil Emperor's Lieutenant kidnap/hold hostage the wife/girlfriend/daughter/friend of the hero/hero's friend/supporting protagonist/noble knight of the Evil Empire? And who didn't hate the wife/girlfriend/daughter/friend for being a liability?

Thunk!

The die was cast. She was the friend of a powerful, hated mage, and there was nothing she could do to change that.

Thunk!

(All right, she could just break off their friendship, but sentiment aside, it didn't seem like a good idea. It would take a while for his enemies to learn that they were no longer friends, and in the meantime, she didn't have his protection.)

Thunk!

 _I will not be the healer who gets kidnapped._

Thunk!

 _I will not be the damsel who dies for the plot._

Thunk.

Back in the old days, miko didn't just use the blessed hama-ya and hama-yumi for rituals. They shot people with them.

[A/N: Hama-ya and Hama-yumi literally mean evil-destroying arrow/bow. Yes, it's the same hama as the Hama spell.]

Thunk!

 _If they could do it, why can't I?_

Thunk!

Mina was disappointed—but not surprised to see—that her last shot had not pierced the bullseye and shattered the target in one mighty blow, but instead hit the second outermost ring.

Mina lowered the bow, arms aching. She wasn't going to the Olympics any time soon, but she could hit the target. Of course, all those arrows wouldn't mean a thing without magic backing them up, but Mina had hama-ya to spare.

Now all she needed to do was carry her archery bag with her for the rest of her life without getting stopped or detained by police. She was pretty sure that she could give the—

A line of white light pierced through the darkness, thin as a cobweb and shorter than her fingernail, but bright as a camera flash at midnight. Mina blinked away the residual glow.

"…Okay, that was weird, but it's…"

Mina bit back the last word.

 _Every time someone says 'it's nothing' in a movie, it never is. Especially if you're in a horror movie, and life is basically a horror movie now, isn't it? I mean, adding Dracula to anything makes it horror automatically._

 _That said, if life were a horror movie, Kazuya would have already been killed by one of his demons. There's probably a perfectly logical explanation for this—_

 _And it's probably wrong. Let's look at this realistically. That radio tower doesn't blind me when I look at it. What kind of normal light does that? I can't name a single one that—_

 _All right, it's just an excuse to check out something weird._

Mina fished out some paper talismans out of her bag (only one of them was too shredded to use), sorted the practice arrows from the hama-ya (thank goodness for that special compartment), and checked the charge on her phone.

Right. On one hand, it was her job to check things like that out.

On the other hand, it didn't seem like a good idea to go without backup.

On the first hand, did she really want to be the kind of whiny girl who couldn't do a thing without a man?

On the second hand, would she rather be the kind of stupid girl who couldn't do a thing without a man, but was too stupid to realize that, and constantly had to be rescued by that man?

After reflecting upon it, Mina decided that there was no shame in asking for help. She unlocked her phone.

"Hi Soma, could we meet up? Like, now? I was thinking about getting a chocolate-banana sundae from that store that just opened up, and I can't finish it on my own."

Shortly after escaping Castlevania, the survivors made their own code. For exampling, naming a specific dessert meant 'Let's have a secret meeting'. Simply going out for ice cream or crepes was just an invitation; adding two or more flavors, ingredients, or toppings signaled a meeting. There was also a counter-phase (three or more items of clothing in one sentence) that meant that it was just a meetup and one of them was simply very enthusiastic about sugar. Of course, there had been a few close calls over things not immediately recognizable as desserts (apparently, cozonac with wine and oranges meant 'cake flavored with oranges with sweet wine poured on top,' tochitura with wine and oranges meant 'a meal of stew served with wine and ended with fresh oranges', and Americans sometimes put bacon in their milkshakes) and what counted as a dessert (especially over why a frappe was not a dessert but an affogato was), but since it required meetups anyways, it worked out. Hopefully, there wouldn't be any dresses made from icing sugar any time soon.

There was some commotion on the other end. "Hi, Mina, I'm doing something now—"

"There's a great spot up in the mountains."

"I got you."

There was more discussion on the other end.

"All right, Mina, I can pick you up. Where are you?"

"Archery butts," said Mina.

"Great, that's right next to the Chemistry building. Could you… you know, it's a great place to go stargazing. You should try it sometime."

Mina cleared her throat. "And where will you pick me up?"

"Oh, um… just down the street."

"Got it. Bye!"

"See you there."

Mina packed up her stuff and climbed the four stories of the Chemistry building. _We need a code for 'disregard that last statement'._

The Chemistry Building was indeed a great place to look at the stars. It was on the edge of campus, bordering the track and football field, so light pollution was much more heavily cut.

"…Wait, Soma can't carry anyone as a bat."

Mina stared at the skyline. "I mean, maybe he could parkour his way there, but is that really more efficient than just taking the bus? And it's not like he can carry me… well, he can swing the Sword (still) in the Stone with one hand, but jumping around carrying me would cause a lot of whiplash issUUUUEEE—"

A gigantic shadow swooped down from above, blasting everything around it with a chilly wind. Mina sprang back, hand shaking.

Damndamndamndontpanicdontpanic—why did I get a bag with a _zipper_ —

After some fumbling, Mina managed to unsling her bow and nock a single arrow. Aiming wasn't difficult, she'd already spent over an hour sh—

"Don't shoot!" Soma yelled.

A tiny ball of fire appeared over the shadow, revealing Soma and Kazuya. They were astride a large Pegasus—no, a huge, winged wolf.

"Sorry about that," said Kazuya. "Had to check how easily you'd spook." He whistled. "Is that a hama-yumi? You armed yourself fast. Isn't that sacrilegious or something?"

"Why? They're weapons," said Mina. Mina was not a Christian, but the vampire hunters' Holy Water use seemed a lot more sacrilegious than shooting enemies with weapons honoring a demon-slaying warrior. Especially the way Julius used it. Soma still wouldn't accept his famous Linguini di Mare, no matter how thoroughly he washed the pot.

"You saw that light, too?" Soma said quickly.

Mina nodded.

"We're going after it. Hop on!"

X

Humans who were partially demons, or demons who were partially humans, were not exactly uncommon sights in Aoi's experience. The Order of Messiah, which raised Aoi, classified them under three terms: Demonoid, Nephilim, and Vector, although they were open to the possibility of more types.

Demonoids, the result of a human fusing with a demon, were by far the most common. In those wild, starving days, when guns, men, and prayer were not enough to protect the little enclave, a few desperate souls, maddened by grief and hunger, would enter the Mansion of Heretics with beaten, captive demons. Some emerged with great powers. Others did not emerge at all, having lost either their lives or their identities.

Takeshi Fudou, one of Kazuya's friends from the past, was the luckiest Demonoid Aoi had known; he emerged with his sanity (relatively) intact. She suspected it had something to do with using one of Kazuya's contracted demons instead of a wild one; she wasn't present for Takeshi's fusion, but Kazuya's demons were always docile when he ordered them into the fusion chambers, unlike the defiant, trussed-up demons she'd seen paraded into the halls of Shibuya so many times before.

That said, Takeshi was insane even by demon standards. He killed whoever he wanted to prove his strength; never his friends, but often his allies. This was a common trait among Demonoids; they thought they were invincible and needed to show the world at every turn.

From what little Aoi saw of him, Naoki Kashima thought himself invincible, but approached this arrogance in the opposite direction. Where most Demonoids showed off their power by crushing their enemies as messily as they could, Naoki showed off by beating her gang with his hands tied behind his back, so to speak. From what little she could see of Naoki's face in the dim firelight, he didn't look afraid when she stunned and shot him, not even in the way blowhards try to retain dignity in the face of death.

But even if he was the most arrogant demon Aoi had ever met, he surrendered too easily, even—no, especially when he had the high ground. What's more, Naoki acted more like a summoner than a demon, and Demonoids could not summon.

Nephilim was the Messian term for people born part human and part demon; the original word referred to someone with a specific kind of parentage (male fallen angel and female human), and using it for the fruit of every union was like referring to every fruit as a pineapple, but it was the word Aoi grew up on. Every group used their own word, and the attempts to standardize it caused too much backlash over freedom of expression. The most technically correct term was Half-demon or Half-human, which Aoi found degrading. Hybrid was also common, but the term could also be used for anything from partially electric cars to crops that underwent selective breeding. Devil Child didn't work after the age of eighteen or so. The Gaian term Sacred One Born of the Earth was too pretentious. Legal documents referred to them as 'persons descended from demons within three generations.'

Unlike Demonoids, Nephilim could not be categorized under a specific set of behaviors; every Demonoid was one by choice (the Minister refused to fuse for visitors drunk, high, or coerced), and most of the ones who survived the process had similar personalities to begin with [3]. Nephilim varied in personality just as much as any two given humans. Some could pass as ordinary humans, and others behaved like wild demons, so Aoi was never sure how many there were.

Except Naoki was too awkward to be a Nephilim. Adult Nephilim rarely had trouble controlling their powers; they had their whole lives to figure them out. Nephilim usually manifested their powers in childhood; most around the ages of seven or eight, but infants with (thankfully weak) demonic powers were not uncommon. The latest awakening Aoi had heard of was at the ripe old age of twelve. As a result of growing up with these powers, Nephilim with superhuman strength had especially good control; they needed coordination if they wanted to write without snapping pens in two, live anywhere with doors, or touch people without a doctor present. Naoki treated everything like it was made of glass, the demonic equivalent of sounding everything out while reading.

Lastly, Vectors were humans who were transformed by other Vectors, the most famous being vampires, zombies, and werewolves. Aoi did not know many personally, because most were quarantined and executed due to the infectious nature of their abilities.

(There was a running debate over whether ghosts counted as Vectors or not. On one hand, victims of ghost attacks were susceptible to becoming ghosts themselves. On the other hand, plenty of ghosts did not become ghosts after being attacked by ghosts. On the first hand, you could become a vampire or werewolf in ways other than being bitten by one. On the second, the correlation between ghosts and ghost victims was much less convincing than…)

Naoki as a Vector certainly fit; he lacked a Demonoid's bullheaded arrogance and the Nephilim's innate coordination. Aoi didn't know enough about Fiends to know if they were former humans, so his confession didn't help. Besides, Vectors had so many deviations that nothing proved anything; a former Biology teacher referred to them as the Protista of demons.

"…You've been staring at me for a while," said Naoki. "Please stop."

"My apologies," said Aoi.

They had taken the bus back to campus. Aoi was a Political Science TA, and while she shared an office with three other people, it was so late that she doubted that anyone would drop in.

"All right, let's make some ground rules," said Aoi. "Each of us takes turns asking one question. If one of us refuses to answer a question, that is the end of it, but we cannot ask the other an… equivalent question. For example, if I refuse to answer what my favorite food is, I cannot ask you what your favorite food is."

Naoki blinked.

"Are you not satisfied?" asked Aoi.

"Oh, no, it's just that most people I've known are annoyingly evasive when it comes to things like this," said Naoki. "It's always 'Come find me for answers,' or 'You will see' with them. That aside, the whole 'equal answers' thing seems unnecessarily complicated. What if we ask questions that don't apply to ourselves? Or what if one of us gets paranoid because we can't ask a question that the other doesn't mind answering?"

Aoi nodded. "In that case, we shall dispense with that rule."

Aoi had used the equal refusal negotiation hundreds of times before to mediate bitter feuds; to prevent one group from knowing more about the other, each of them had to answer the same question, so it was ostensibly an equal sharing of information. She had forgotten how inefficient it was when there was nothing at stake.

Naoki nodded back. "Let's just say that we can both refuse to answer any questions. I won't lie, but I won't tell you everything."

Aoi nodded. "You go first." Her body tensed involuntarily; she forced it to relax. No matter what Naoki asked, she could not refuse. Refusing to answer the first question was not only rude, it was a breach of trust. She couldn't regain it in such a short period of time, with only an—

"Why are you called Madam Pain?" asked Naoki.

"It's… a stupid story," said Aoi, breathing one extra breath per minute. "For reasons that I will omit for brevity rather than secrecy, I don't want to use an alias that sounds remotely like a real name. I used to be called The Porcupine, until one day I had to go to Mr. Adams's office for surgery. The doctor put me under anesthesia, and I hallucinated… something that made me repeatedly introduce myself. The doctor is American, and it turns out that 'Aoi' sounds a lot like a childish English exclamation for pain, so he was worried and asked me how I felt when I woke up. I was high enough to explain, so now he knows my real name. He has sworn to keep it a secret, even gave his own in return, but he thinks it's funny to call me Madam Pain. And since Mr. Adams writes down what the doctor tells him, that's what Mr. Adams calls me, and now everyone who goes to the office calls me that." She smirked. "Joke's on him; I made everyone call him The Dude."

"…Honestly, I thought it was because of the whip," said Naoki.

"He figured that's what most people would assume," said Aoi. "It sounds like I should be wearing heels and black leather, doesn't it? That's not my question," she added quickly.

"So is—"

"No, I'm not telling you his name, and no, it is not any variant of Jeff, Geoffrey, or Lebowski," said Aoi.

"…That wasn't what I was going to ask," said Naoki. "I wanted to know why you even have a whip."

"Put that on the queue; I get my question now," said Aoi. "Were you once human?"

"Yes," said Naoki bluntly. "Now, why do you know how to use a whip?"

"Someone taught me how to use a whip," said Aoi, not allowing annoyance to show on her face.

Naoki buried his face in his palms. "All right. From now on, follow-up questions don't count as new questions. What else did you want to know about me being human?"

"What made you… not human?" asked Aoi.

Naoki stretched. "That's… a bit of a long story. The short version is that I…" Naoki froze, mouth still open. "…Can I have some pen and paper? There's a lot of threads that explain things, but they're also tied to a bunch of other threads that aren't relevant."

Aoi nodded and handed him pen and paper. She tried reading Naoki's notes upside-down, but since it referred to a bunch of people she didn't know and used a lot of abstract doodles, it was about as much help as the people at the help desk at the Colosseum (for the last time, her Champion's Family discount did not expire and applied to the minibar).

At last, Naoki finished. He cleared his throat. "Okay, so I got into trouble with this cult, and I almost died, but for some reason Lucifer intervened and turned me into a demon so I could live. I think it's because he wanted me to join him, but he was really… evasive about the whole thing, so while I did do some stuff for him, I don't think either of us considers me his lackey. I mean, maybe he thinks of me as a pawn, but I don't officially work for him."

"What exactly did you do for him?" asked Aoi.

"Nothing bad, if that's what you're wondering," said Naoki. "He asked me to find the other Fiends and take back what they stole from him. It turned out that they were working for him anyways, so it wasn't even the kind of 'seemingly harmless prank kills everyone' ploy that you see the Devil do in every drama involving the Devil."

"How many Fiends?"

"Nine."

Aoi nodded. "I have more questions, but those can wait."

Naoki nodded. "Now then, why do you use a whip?"

"They're fast, concealable, and they're so rare that no one knows how to counter them," said Aoi tersely.

"Yeah, but it takes a lot of practice to even hit your target," said Naoki. "I mean, using any weapon effectively takes time, but everyone's used knives, and anyone can swing a sword. Why did you work so hard to learn such a difficult weapon?"

"The whip was the first weapon I learned," said Aoi. "I do not wish to say any more about the matter."

Naoki nodded. "All right, backing off. You go ahead."

Something harmless… "What sort of weapon do you specialize in?"

"Just my fists," said Naoki.

"…That's rather pot and kettle of you," said Aoi. "Why?"

"They're reliable," said Naoki. "I started out in an… an abandoned hospital, and most of what I found there didn't last me to the next town. Scalpels are more dangerous to you than your enemy if they break, anything wooden you can salvage is both flimsy and flammable, and metal pipes are impossible to hold if you're fighting fire, ice, or electricity. Learning how to punch wasn't easy, but… have you ever had a weapon break on you? … No, you're the kind who carries spares. You dropped your bat to feint in our last fight."

Aoi nodded. "It worked, didn't it?"

"Then I don't think you know how it feels," said Naoki, staring off at nothing. "To me, they weren't just weapons. They were my lifelines. Every club I dropped, every shiv I broke, every spell I cast dragged me closer and closer to…" He shuddered. "I never want to feel that helpless ever again."

…All right, that was a lot darker than she expected. "…Is there anything else you wanted to know about me?" she asked gently.

"What's with your gang?" asked Naoki.

"These kids tried to jump me in freshman year. Their technique was so sloppy, I just had to show them how to do it right. One thing led to another, and now I'm their leader."

"So… now you jump college students?"

"No, we target annoying rich people," said Aoi. "We wouldn't have fought you if you hadn't picked a fight."

"…I almost killed you."

"Yes, but it's not like we encounter a demon of unearthly power every night. They took down a cult without my help last week."

Naoki blinked. "Can I take another question? It's nothing too complicated."

"Sure." Fostering a feeling of debt, in small doses, was useful.

"Are you related to someone named Jyoji Hijiri?"

Aoi opened her mouth, and then closed it. "Possibly? I have a big family, and I can't keep track of all of them. Could you describe him?"

"Late twenties, early thirties, reporter for Ayakashi Monthly," said Naoki.

"No, I'm not related," said Aoi. "Why do you ask?"

"It's not that important, you just look a lot like him," said Naoki. [4]

Aoi took a deep breath. They were both sufficiently relaxed. "My turn now. I expect you to answer this seriously, no matter how strange the question is."

Naoki sighed. "You wouldn't believe the things I've seen. I can handle strange."

"Did you… originate from a future where the world was full of demons?"

Naoki's jaw dropped. "…No," he said. "But… I… I'll explain more, but why do you ask?"

"You're way too good to have learned off these streets, and you don't have formal training," said Aoi. "I can see by the way you move that you earned your strength; you may have taken a dozen Ziongas and fifty bullets, and yet you move like a Pixie."

Naoki blinked.

"That's a compliment," she clarified. "You move like you're small, which means that you were much weaker when you first became a demon, and grew into your current power level. You must have fought a great many enemies to get to your current level. Judging by your accent, am I correct in assuming that you're from Tokyo?"

"Ueno," said Naoki.

"I live in Shinjuku. If something strange happened in Tokyo, I would know."

"How do you know it didn't get covered up by all the buzz about the Phantom Thieves?" asked Naoki.

"Because I go out and investigate instead of sitting behind a screen all day," retorted Aoi. "I can assure you that there are no demons in Tokyo." She paused. "Well, there aren't very many in Tokyo. Certainly few in number and not strong enough for anyone to grow."

Naoki tilted his head. "I see what you mean. I mean, I think you skipped a step or two, but I did fight a lot of demons. But why do you…" Naoki's eyes widened. "Are _you_ from the future?"

Aoi shrugged. "While the date of my… origin is many years ahead of today, I can assure you that the events that lead to demons appearing in my time did not occur in this timeline. If you would like to know more, wait your turn."

Naoki nodded, and began to write and doodle on that same sheet of paper.

"All right, Aoi, you might not believe me, but… the world ended last year."

X

When Kazuya arrived in this timeline, he was lucky to have the Demon Summoning Program on his COMP. For some reason, it had erased the summon data of all but one demon. Since that demon was Pascal, Kazuya didn't mind nearly as much. As awesome as it would have been to have Shiva the Destroyer as his servant (and as frustrating as it was to lose Gabriel, who had taken so long to fuse), losing his old friend/pet again would have been the worst.

However, that didn't mean that Kazuya was completely bereft of other demons. Sometimes he encountered the odd youkai in abandoned or wild places, some of which were willing to see new places with him. A trio of Makai demons had joined him last Halloween, but had made a promise to someone else not to tell any of their fellow demons (Kazuya could have forced them to do it anyways, but it wasn't worth it to lose their loyalty, and they could have done a substandard job to spite him). And, of course, there was the Ars Goetia, the handy book of demon summoning.

"And that is how I made a contract with the Marchioness Marchosias," said Kazuya. "Any questions?"

"Doesn't that book also tell you all about how the demons you summon can get you killed?" said Mina.

"So you've read it, too?" asked Kazuya.

"It's called reconnaissance," said Mina primly.

"No, it's called curiosity," said Soma. "I'm surprised that it worked at all."

"I've done summonings the old-fashioned way before," said Kazuya.

"No, what I'm surprised about is that you can still get demon summoning books today," said Soma.

"The internet is a wonderful place."

Soma facepalmed. "What I mean is, if there are certain groups interested in keeping the world safe from demon summoners, why haven't been destroyed and replaced with harmless replicas?"

"Shoddy bookkeeping, corrupt managers, incompetent ancient conspiracies, the printing press, rich people with libraries that are hard to break into, ancient books and scrolls that are protected due to historical value, and I can go on for days," said Mina. "That's not to say that a lot of them haven't been destroyed, replaced, deliberately mistranslated, or were written by charlatans. You can also get a lot of functioning rituals that the test summoners might not have done correctly."

"Test summoners?" repeated Kazuya. "I thought you said summoners were to be killed on sight."

"Yes, and firefighters can legally break down your door if your house is on fire," said Mina. "The organizations that censor these spells need to check if they really work or not; there was an incident back in the early twentieth century when these people accidentally corrected a ritual that someone else censored ages ago."

"And that led to one of the world wars?" said Soma.

"Not everything in the early twentieth century had to do with the world wars, Soma," said Mina. "Although I think it did lead to a new law in Silesia about what could legally be called a pickle. Anyways, trying to loophole them into international law led to a lot of potential loopholes for other summoners, so now they're one of those things that don't exist but everyone knows they do."

"Oh, like [INSERT EDGY POLITICAL COMMENTARY ABOUT CONTROVERSIAL GOVERNMENT POLICY HERE]," said Soma.

"Yes, exactly," said Mina. "You probably wouldn't want to be one, Kazuya. All they're allowed to do is see if the ritual works; they can't even make contracts."

"Duly noted," said Kazuya.

"Still, it seems like a bit of an oversight, if you could find a working ritual over the internet," said Soma.

"Actually, those are the safest kind of ritual," said Mina. "If you want to summon a demon, what are you going to use? A three-page typed pdf, or an ancient tome bound in human skin, written in Latin or Greek or some obscure language?"

"Verilog?" said Kazuya. [5]

"…What?" said Mina.

"The Demon Summoning Program is written in Verilog," explained Kazuya. "In English, with no comments, variables that are either lame puns or single or double letters, redundancies that break the program when removed, and a lot of other stuff that takes too long to explain. It's basically every grader's nightmare."

Mina coughed. "Anyways, when doing ritual magic, you need to… believe it works? No, that's not it."

"Confidence?" suggested Soma.

"Assurance?"

"Expectation," said Mina. "It's like… if you'd be surprised if the ritual worked, it won't work. I'm not going to say you have no doubts about it, either; it's healthy to know your limits."

"Like giving demons orders?" said Kazuya.

Mina blinked. "What do you mean by that?"

"It's… demons don't listen to you if you're weaker than them, so you can't show weakness when you summon," explained Kazuya. "You can't just puff yourself up and pretend you're not afraid, either; that makes you look ever weaker. Effective commands are somewhere in the middle; you take it as a given that your demon will listen, but you need to acknowledge that they will disobey if you're not good enough."

Soma eyed the gigantic wolf splayed out in Kazuya's lap. "…And you're still talking about it in front of your demon?"

Kazuya shrugged, kneading Marchosias's shoulders a little further down. "If I can't say that in front of her, that means I don't have enough confidence. Are your wings rested enough for another jump, Marchioness Marchosias?"

"Five more minutes, sir," she growled back.

"I…guess?" said Mina. "Anyways, the internet is safe for the same reason people don't buy crystals for health: it seems too easy to be authentic."

Kazuya blinked. "…Wait, those don't work?"

Soma looked back at Kazuya. "And here I thought you just liked interior decorating."

Kazuya considered asking Mina the miko if selling crystals was any different from donations and drawing fortunes on New Year's, but decided that it would be rude. "What about the Phantom Thieves of Hearts?" he settled. "They were a sketchy internet rumor."

Mina shrugged. "I have no idea what was going on with them."

"I… They're different," said Soma, a little shakily. "I think the Phantom Thieves were real people who just had an internet following, not a spell that a lot of people cast. They'd exist whether other people believed in them or not. Although there is an interesting philosophical question about the nature of whether humans exist independently or if others grant exi—"

At that moment, Marcioness Marchosias got to her feet and stretched. "I am ready, sir," she said. "One more hop?"

"And we can take the bus home," said Kazuya. "All aboard!"

The three students boarded the gigantic, winged wolf. Marchioness Marchosias (as she insisted on being called) took a running leap off of the roof, unfurling enormous wings on either side as they hurtled into the sky. Kazuya loved flying; it wasn't a very practical way to get around when he journeyed across Tokyo, due to weight and refueling problems, so he only did it for fun.

Mina, too, loved riding. What started as nervous mutters became wild shouts of laughter (the normal kind, not the kind you hear when someone is terrified out of their minds) as Marchosias swooped up and down.

Soma, however, just wanted the ride to be over. "You see that? No, that. A little to the left… there, we're going right at it… get a little lower, no higher… you can see that building right? Let's—CRAPTHEREAREPEOPLETHERE!"

"Fly up!" shouted Kazuya, and Marchioness Marchosias obeyed. He learned closer to her ear and said, "I want you to land at least fifty meters away from our destination, in the direction of the peak. Look out for a clearing that can accommodate your size; I don't want to have any crushed trees tonight."

The flying wolf obeyed, and landed on a board-lined path. "The trail leads directly towards the clearing," she said.

"Thank you," said Kazuya. "I will dismiss you now."

He punched in a few keys, and Marchioness Marchosias vanished. Soma removed his long, white coat and stuffed it in his backpack, Mina took out her phone (which had a flashlight), and Kazuya took out a bottle of whiskey. He splashed a little on everyone.

"We'll pretend to be drunk," he said. "If we're sober and we get caught, we'll have to explain ourselves. If we're drunk, we _can't_ explain ourselves."

Mina eyed the bottle. "Where did you get that?"

"I had demons go on liquor runs," said Kazuya.

"But… why?" asked Mina.

Kazuya shrugged. "Good offering when recruiting demons, useful as an antibiotic, and I utterly despise underage drinking laws." He handed her the bottle. "Take a sip. It's more believable if you do."

All three of them drank.

Soma led them down the mountain. They walked in silence, until the path opened up, and they ducked into convenient bushes.

Five people were standing around an abandoned power plant, each holding a flashlight. They wore no uniforms, but their mannerisms betrayed what no uniform could: they were investigators.

"I must eat a potato chip," said one.

"Don't contaminate the crime scene, Ninja," said another.

"But my dark past compels me to."

"Yeah? Well, your dark past can—"

"Ease up, Agent Tiger, Agent Ninja can do it in the bushes," said a third.

"My gratitude from the depths of my ice-cold heart of stone, Agent Seal," said Agent Ninja, who walked (thankfully) in a different set of bushes.

All right, they might not have been very good investigators, but they were still investigators.

Soma poked Kazuya and pointed to the right. One of the trees had a hole the size of his head gouged out, as if struck by a gigantic drill. Behind it, a row of fallen trees stretched into the darkness.

"…Could this be the same Ultimate Chaos Crystalline Catalysis Infernal Inversion Magic from my homeland?!" gasped another.

"…I have no words, Agent Wolf," said Agent Tiger.

"Don't worry, guys!" piped up Agent Seal. "From my training in the Japanese equivalent of the Navy SEALS, I can track down the culprit!" He got to his hands and knees and started crawling.

"I… I wish I could help," said a fifth. "I'm so useless…"

"You're not useless, Peony," said Agent Tiger.

Agent Peony gasped. "R-really?!" she squealed.

"Your skills are of great value to the team," said Agent Seal.

"So stop moping and get your ass back to work!" shouted Agent Tiger.

"…That wasn't quite what I meant," said Agent Seal.

Mina poked Kazuya and pointed at her phone **We cant investigate. we**

Kazuya took out his phone, and wrote and showed (but did not send) the message: **No lets keep going if they see then we are drunk**. He took another sip to prove it before hiding the screen. Mina hid her screen as well.

Soma took his phone out, and added, **Sure, but if we do that, we should go up the path and come down. I don't like our chances if we sneak straight there.**

They crawled back up, and Soma led them down a roundabout path to the fallen trees. **Not a heat-based attack** , Soma texted. **No signs of singeing.**

 **How it go?** Mina texted.

 **Goes 20 meters before it just… tangents off the mountain** , Soma texted back.

 **Thangent? That doesn;tn sound right.**

 **If you look at a topographical map and draw the line of destruction, it will indeed look like a tangent line.**

 **2 straight 4 lightning or wind** , Kazuya texted

 **What makes you say that?**

 **Ligtning zigzag wind sctters on impact**

 **Not that I'm questioning your expertise or anything, but how do you know that?**

 **Had 2 frnds 1 lighng 1 wind**. Kazuya's eyes lost focus, and he had to blink them back. He didn't usually type this badly. **Had 2 fri3nds 1 lightning 1 wind**

 **If anything, it resembles a laser beam.**

 **Yes, of course! Although laser beams do have some singeing.**

 **Some of them. However, some types of laser are not heat-based.**

 **How is that even possible?**

 **How should I know? I just fight the things.**

Kazuya blinked. He was pretty sure that only one of them texted in full sentences and bothered to spell.

Kazuya slowly turned to his left. A man was squatting next to them. He waved.

 **It took you long enough. Hi guys. What are you doing here?**

Mina waved back, but Soma pointed at him with a look of horror on your face.

 **WHAT ARE YOUDOING HEREE?!**

"Hey, I think I heard something!"

The man nodded. **We can continue this conversation another time.** He took out a flask. **Here, everyone drink from this, and we'll say we went hiking drunk.**

 **Didghtat that**. Kazuya showed him the almost empty bottle. **Wh are yuou.**

 **Good. You have your head on straight. My name is Julius Belmont. What's yours?**

TO BE CONTINUED!

I still don't expect any of you to remember the names of the Agents. Don't worry, I'm not going all esoteric crossover with you guys; they're either _Persona 2_ party members or OCs.

(If you are trying to remember their names, I changed Agent Violet to Agent Peony because there's now a Phantom Thief Violet. Seriously, what are the odds?)

By the way, Aoi's alias of Madam Pain comes from a real conversation I had with my editor; we couldn't say Aoi properly, either. Only later did I realize that she shared an alias with Madam, the governor of Valhalla in SMT2. Madam and the Heroine two separate people; in the Visionary scenes, Pascal-Cerberus doesn't recognize her, and the butler knows the Hero better than she does.

Also, some characters use 'Madam' as a name instead of an honorific, so they call her Madam-san/kun/chan/whatever. Aoi doesn't care enough to correct them.

[1] American Marine: I made Hammer a Marine, as a link to the pirate Grant DeNasty.

[2] Everyone knows healing and attack magic: This isn't a dig at people who only have offensive skills. In SMT1 and 2, the human party members learn magic from a fixed list and can't forget anything. It's different from using your limited slots to learn every element or agonizing over which passive to keep; one is learning basic first aid in case of emergencies, and the other is discarding a useful skill in favor of something you'll probably never use.

And yes, I know the Chaos Hero doesn't learn the HP-restoring Dia line, but he does have a status heal.

[3] Demonoids all have similar personalities because they volunteered: Aoi doesn't know about people who were coerced. Even non-volunteers tend to become violent maniacs.

I take the view that fusion alters your mental state in such a way that most people turn to Chaos, but it can't magically change your ideology.

Throughout the Megaten series, demons are linked with emotions and freedom; turning into demons usually grants both. The Demon Virus in _Digital Devil Saga_ had the side effect of granting AI soldiers emotions (cumulating in a breakdown of law), and in _SMT4_ , the newly educated feudal serfs become so dissatisfied with their repressive caste system that they become demons (later explained by latent demon ancestry coming out). I say that becoming a demon also makes your emotions stronger and encourages you to make your own rules, a la the Ubermensch.

When taken in moderation or separately, boosted emotions and independence don't turn you into a bloodthirsty demon. After all, independent thought and a strong drive is how you go Neutral in most games, it's possible to be fanatically Lawful, and the rebellious Phantom Thieves still have a strong moral code. You get followers of the dog eat dog world when these traits feed off each other. Hedonism now feels better than ever, and you get to decide whether it's right or wrong. And why wouldn't you decide that whoever wants to stop you is in the wrong for infringing upon your freedom? You're stronger than them, so it's your right.

However, Demonoids do not automatically turn Chaotic. I'm not going to say that it's a matter of a strong will to not succumb to Chaos; I hate that cliché. Demonoids are more inclined towards Chaos because that loop of sadism suits their wants, but if you have a better reason to have a different alignment, the loop is petty in comparison. Hiroko, heroine of SMT2, barely changed after fusing with Nadja, and can turn Lawful with Aleph. In her case, saving people and fighting oppression is more important than pleasure. Infernal Akira, one of three prominent NPCs in SMT4 who are all technically the same person, is a Demonoid and one of the few consistently Lawful Good individuals in the entire franchise. In his case, he's weak and knows it, so he empathizes with the other dregs of society (which might even be amplified due to the emotion boost factor).

I'll also assume that Infernal Tokyo isn't a completely accurate map of Demonoid mentalities for the following reasons: you don't meet that many of them, a lot of the less Chaotic ones could have been killed in the thirty years of gang warfare, etc.

As a handwave, the Demon Virus of DDS is either weaker or doesn't change people who had emotions when infected; Sera and Roland behave normally. You might go insane, but that's mostly the stress from eating people rather than the virus infecting your brain.

I say that Naoki is another exception to the 'emotional and independent demon' rule, because Lucifer wanted to test him. The Demi-Fiend is apparently unique as someone who is both human and demon, in a world full of Demonoids, Hybrids, Vectors, people who have been possessed, Tuners, etc. Lucifer wanted to test the Demi-Fiend as a human granted power, not like the Demonoids he'd no doubt seen before.

TL; DR: Aoi is wrong; if you take a large population of unwilling people and turn them into Demonoids, most of them will become battle-hungry maniacs anyways.

Trivia: in an earlier draft, the Messian word for humans who fused with demons was 'Fused One,' or 'Fused' for short. I changed it to Demonoid when I thought 'Fused One' was too unwieldy, and the term Demonoid was coined in SMT2.

[4] Aoi and Jyoji Hijiri: Jyoji Hijiri is an important NPC in _SMT Nocturne_. Late in the game, it's revealed that he was cursed long ago for committing the ultimate sin, and he must reincarnate endlessly. One popular theory is that Hijiri is an incarnation of Aleph, the hero of SMT2. Resemblance aside, Aleph kills YHVH, who curses him to suffer for eternity.

My theory is that Aleph, who is an artificial human created to be the Messiah by the Messians, was created using the genes of the other two people the Messians declared to be the Messiah: the Heroine and the Law Hero (fellow clone Daleth was made using the Hero and the Chaos Hero). Since Aleph looks like his genetic donor Aoi, and Hijiri looks like his past self Aleph, Hijiri still looks a lot like Aoi.

[5] Demon Summoning Program is written in Verilog: Verilog is a hardware language that is structured differently from software languages, so it's harder for the software specialist Kazuya to learn.

Also, the program did have comments and better variable names in its first iteration. Stephen changed the variables and cut the comments in the first upgrade, so it has more memory for new demons. Why yes, I am definitely an expert in compression, why do you ask?

Originally, the language was Scratch, which is a language used to teach children the basics. The joke was that Stephen is a brilliant physicist but a sub-par programmer, and that Kazuya can't read it because he doesn't know a language this dumbed-down. Then I realized that if Stephen's so bad at programming, then his first resort for giving everyone in the world a way to command demons wouldn't be a program.

Although it would have been amusing if the first version of the program was in Scratch, then the reason Stephen kept improved it in SMT2 was because he actually learned a real language.

It was also a tossup between Verilog and Assembly. Assembly is a language easy for computers to read, hard for humans to write, and even harder for humans to read. Without comments, it's pretty much impossible to know what's going on.

OMAKE #1: Underage drinking laws

(In the iOS version of SMT1, underage drinking is censored so the bartenders always give the heroes juice)

"…Are we allowed in there?" said Kazuya nervously.

Takeshi snorted. "Of course. I go in and out of there all the time."

Kazuya nervously trotted up to the bartender. "Sir, could I have a…" he looked up at the sign, "rum, please?"

"ID."

"…Never mind. Can I have a ginger beer, then?"

Later, in the Bar of the Resistance…

"Good morning, Mrs. Takahashi. Might I trouble you for two shots of shochu, for me and our newest recruit?"

"For the last time, leader, I can't serve anyone who looks under thirty!"

"I assure you, I am twenty," said Aoi, passing her one of the fake IDs.

Mrs. Takahashi looked at Kazuya and gestured at Aoi. "Our leader here can't tell anyone her last name, for security purposes," she explained. "Mr. Narukami did a good job on this one, but I know for a fact that you are not in the US Air Force, leader."

Later, after the apocalypse…

Yoshio and Takeshi looked around the bar. "This is… cleaner than what I was expecting," said Yoshio. "Remind me why we're here again?"

"Every adult goes to the bar to unwind," said Takeshi. "Loosest lips in town."

"Oh, just like speaking to everyone in a video game."

"Excuse me!" called Kazuya. "I'd like a gla—cup of whatever's cheap."

"No booze for you, kid," grumbled the bartender.

"B-but…the world's ended!" said Kazuya. "Why can't I have a drink?"

"Hate it when the light goes out of kids eyes," said the bartender. "Water's 1000 Macca a glass."

Later, after the tyrannical Ozawa's death…

Yoshio and Kazuya stumbled into the bar, eyes glazed with shock.

"One alcohol," said Kazuya blearily.

"No booze, kid."

"Excuse me?" Kazuya looked the bartender straight in the eye, grabbing the counter for support. "Do you want to say that again?"

"No firegold, moloko plus, vehina, or vellocet for you, kid."

Kazuya lunged for the bartender's throat, grabbing the front of his shirt and hissing, "We took down Ozawa. Our best friend ran out on us. And you're not going to serve us?"

"Ozawa is dead?" the bartender's face lit up. "Why didn't you say so? You each get a drink on the house!"

" _One_ drink?"

"Liquids are valuable now, Kazuya, and he needs to make a living," said Yoshio levelly.

"I'd like a-"

"Still no booze, kid."

Later, after Aoi's rescue…

"I'm so sorry, but all alcohol is sacred," said the Shibuyan priest. "It is the blood of Jesus Christ, and so can only be used for ceremonial and medicinal purposes." He pointed to a stack of Twinkies. "All bread, as well."

"…I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure that's not how Christianity works," said Kazuya.

Aoi nudged him. "We're doing the best we can, okay? Beer's almost wine."

"I guess, but I'm also pretty sure that 'Fecundity' is not a name. Or a real English word, for that matter."

" _Stop making fun of my Christian name!_ "

Later, in Roppongi…

"One…no, two shots!" shouted Kazuya. A disco, working vending machines, and a real bar? This was the best place ever!

"ID!" sang the bartender.

"…What?"

"ID!"

Kazuya cocked his head, then took out his wallet (kept as a souvenir from the past, since Macca used coins rather than bills). He coughed. "I am, totally a… forty-five year old man."

The bartender giggled. "Don't be silly, little boy! It says you're twelve!"

Kazuya blinked. "…What?"

Kazuya was so surprised about the bartender's comment that he just left the bar without ordering anything.

When whatever illusion befalling the place was lifted, and it turned out that almost everyone in the town was a zombie with a screwed up sense of when they died, a tiny part of Kazuya managed to stay adrift the ocean of horror, disgust, frustration, and sorrow.

It told him, "Let's not salvage anything here. It must be full of zombie slime."

Later, back in Shinjuku…

Kazuya slumped against the bar, tears streaming down his face. "Yoshio's dead…" he sniffed. "Pint?"

The bartender looked upon him with sympathy. "I know it's rough, kid, but drowning your sorrows won't do you any good. I've seen too many people lose themselves-"

"Pint, or Jatayu eats your liver."

The bartender looked at the oversized vulture, and decided to pour him a cup of ginger beer. "Your beer, sir."

Later, in Ginza, a town ruled by the Gaians, who believe in strength and anarchy…

"Give me a shot of whatever's cheap, and if you pull a gun on me, my little friend here will disembowel you," said Kazuya, gesturing to Jatayu the vulture god.

"I'm afraid not, boy," said the bartender. "The boss doesn't like kids drinking, and what the boss says, goes."

Later, after Asura's defeat…

Kazuya and Aoi emerged from the depths of the Basilica, victory sweet. Their journey was only halfway over, and only the Archangels above remained.

"Let's get hammered; we've beaten their boss, so they have to respect us now!" shouted Kazuya.

Unfortunately, these Gaians were a lot less power-happy than the Lilith-led Gaeans in another alternate Tokyo, and did not take well to the loss of their leaders. Nor to their murderers, as it happened.

Also, it turned out that the real 'boss'—the founder of the Cult of Gaia—was still alive to dictate his terms. Which was why Kazuya and Aoi were banned from Gaian bars forever.

Later…

"As a member of the democratically elected council, I would like a free beer," said Kazuya.

"As I respect your authority and acknowledge the service you have done for us, I shall give you a free drink. You're also still a kid. No beer for you."

Kazuya crossed his arms. "So I'm enough of an adult to decide the fate of this settlement, but not enough to drink a little firegold now and then?"

"I wouldn't vote for a teenage drunk."

"…Good point."

Several years later…

Kazuya marched into the bar one fine morning. "One shot of whiskey, please," he said, slamming the money on the table.

"What makes today any different?"

"Because," said Kazuya, hands on hips. "Today is my twentieth birthday. I am now legally allowed to drink alcohol."

"Prove it."

Kazuya slammed his ID on the table.

"…This says you're fifty."

"I went time-traveling."

The bartender flipped the card over and over. "Well, this is obviously a fake."

"How can it be a fake?" said Kazuya. "We haven't had manufacturing this good in… wait." Kazuya took back the ID. "You don't have IDs, do you? You don't card people; you guess their age."

The bartender nodded. "And you, sir, are eighteen years of age. Get out."

X

"…And it took me another four years, because the old bartender died, and the new bartender thought I was sixteen when I met her," said Kazuya. "And that, children, is why I despise underage drinking laws."

"…I thought it was because you're actually fifty," said Mina.

"That too."

OMAKE #2

(SPOILERS for Persona 5!)

(Disclaimer: The ending has been spoiled, but I don't know the fine details and I still want some surprises for when I get there. So please don't correct me if I'm wrong; I'll make corrections when I beat the game)

The room was bright and dingy, lit by cold, industrial plasma lights. Three teenage boys stretched lazily on bare mattresses, glowering at their new roommate. There were not delinquents acting tough to seem cool; they were tough as gristle and hard as bone.

"So, new meat," growled one inmate. "We're the worst of the worst. Who do you think you are?"

The one next to him stretched lazily. "I'm a mugger. Must have robbed twenty mugs before getting caught." He chuckled. "You should have seen the looks on their faces when they saw the knife."

"I'm here for assault," said the second. "Saw some rich jerk looking at me funny? He'll never look anyone in the eye again."

"As for me, I'm a chivalrous made man," said the leader. "Soon as they let me out, I'll be running drugs overseas."

"What about you, new meat?"

"I masterminded a series of heists targeting the rich, powerful, and otherwise untouchable, effectively but not literally blackmailing them, thereby forcing them to publicly confess their crimes and betray their fellow conspirators. I'm only here because I refused to sell out my crew, and so the bigwigs we targeted can go to jail."

The other inmates stared.

"That was a joke. Trespassing."


	6. Chapter 6: Halloween Special, again

Happy Halloween! _Persona 5 Royal_ comes out today. I can wait for the English version.

Royal remade the SMT1 Kichijoji map theme! I don't know what it means, but I am _hyped_!

Some of the characters chose their costumes based on a hidden theme that will become apparent as the story goes on. I will list the ones who followed the theme at the end of the chapter.

I think that Castlevania's third season is coming out around the middle of winter, since the first came out in July and the second came out in October.

Devil May Cry will not have any impact, because I don't know enough about the series. Naoki met Raidou instead.

So Fire Emblem Heroes came out with an option to cook for your units. That's cool and all, but I keep getting Arvis as my chef. You'd think he'd had enough of barbeque for one lifetime.

Woo-hoo! Leif's got a Legendary Alt! The reveal was so late that I was almost about to dump my whole stock to get Halloween Hector/Lilina. Glad I didn't!

Kind of interesting: there was an early Plastic Man story about a witch who held a city for ransom with voodoo. It's a supervillain cliché, but I find it interesting that I've never seen a witch do it before or since. Witches in stories are usually subtle and secretive, use their magic for power, revenge, or fun, and tend to look down upon muggle police. This one announced her plans to burn down a city, demanded a million dollars, and tried to destroy FBI HQ.

Another thing: it's been a while since I've heard or seen a character use 'mortal' as a noun. I associate the (noun form of the) word with 4kids Yugioh's Yami Bakura, and one line in Discworld ("Cower, brief mortals, for I am Death…") which was meant for an in-universe play.

This story takes place in the autumn of 2037, ten months after when the last story left off. The only spoiler is that the three roommates eventually find each other out and Kazuya and Aoi will be reunited. I will include a few future characters who will not be named, but it will be apparent who they are on later readings from their costumes.

Costume Catastrophe

The Medic checked her supply of Medigun fluid. Almost half empty; six shots, or seven if she could pull back the trigger fast enough.

Beside her, Ripley fiddled with her machine gun and Marty McFly nervously clenched his katana. Normally, any healing unit was precious, and the Medic should have been guarded by/keeping alive a dozen soldiers or more, but the rest of their squad had been captured by the enemy. They had only barely managed to escape into a side tunnel, but they were deep in enemy territory, and none of them knew which way to base.

And yet, not a single one of them would have rewound time to the comfort of home base, where piping hot food was served in warm rooms, nor to the security of the legion, fifty men and women strong. For they held a treasure, more valuable than jewels and gold, more coveted than warmth on a cold winter night, more powerful than an army of thousands.

"Psst!"

The Medic almost dropped her gun. Captain Nobeard seemed to materialize from the shadows. "I believe ye be wanting to know this," he said. "The booty we seek be on the fifth floor, down what the locals call the Murder Hallway."

"And you expect us to charge in, with only two fighters and a healer?" spat Ridley. "That's suicide."

"The Professor has called for all hands on deck," answered Captain Nobeard. "Ye will not be alone. I swear it on Neptune's briny beard."

The Medic shook her head. "Ve must return to ze base at vunce." She reached into her pocket and showed him the treasure.

Captain Nobeard's jaw dropped. "…Aye," he said. "That be a surprise." He drew his cutlass. "Fear not, me hearties. I shall accompany y—"

There was a crash and a thud as the door behind them was kicked open by the Lone Wanderer, accompanied by a pack of demons.

The Lone Wanderer gestured menacingly towards the party, because the Lone Wanderer is a silent protagonist. What he really wanted to say was something along the lines of, "Aha! I see we have found our intruders! Surrender now, or be torn apart by my minions!"

"Shiver me timbers!" shouted Captain Nobeard, drawing his cutlass. "You shall ne'er take our colors, landlubbers!"

What the Lone Wanderer wanted to say was, "Aha, you have spirit! But you shall never take our flag! For a hundred thousand devils guard the citadel of doom, and all would fight you to the death!" Alas, he could not, because he was mute.

The Medic readied her saw, and charged.

X

According to Stolas, you couldn't use magic unless you knew that it was possible. You could have the potential to become an archmage and command power over life and death itself, but you couldn't cast a basic candle-lighting spell unless you expected it to work.

That was the best news Vincent Brooks heard all night.

"So does that mean that everyone can only use new magic?" he whispered as they huddled underneath the table, concealed by a black, floor-length tablecloth. Vincent had attended the party dressed as himself back when he was human dressed as himself as Lord of the Netherworld.

"Yes," said Stolas, who had been voted by the rest of the souls as the one in charge of Soma's mouth. The rest of the body was being controlled by Zephyr the magical time-stopping vampire, since he was among the most humanoid of the bunch, and because his exaggerated and flamboyant manner of walking was a lot of fun to watch.

"But you can still use your own?"

Zephyr shook Soma's head. Soma had started the party dressed as the Head Inquisitor from Monty Python, with the addition of a small sticker reading: 'Hello my name is: Penelope'. "The Inquisitors of Spain believed that demons were ethereal beings that could only influence the spiritual realm. According to them, only God—" Stolas spat the name "is capable of influencing the world."

"Meaning?"

"We can manipulate the master's mind and possess his body, but since he does not believe that we can use magic, we cannot," said Stolas.

Vincent blinked. "So he's using magic to control—to keep you from leaving, but he doesn't believe in magic—"

Zephyr shook Soma's head. "That is different. He exerts Dominance all the time, whether he is aware of it or not. Zephyr, would you kindly point to your left." Zephyr pointed Soma's finger to the right. "No, that is… I suppose it is unimportant. The master's friend Kazuya retains contracted to demons despite his foolhardy insistence that he is a mafia Don, and his other friend Naoki has succeeded in demolishing that wall despite his belief that Popeye the Sailor Man may only use superhuman strength as long as he has consumed spinach in the last ten minutes."

"Wait, what?!" Vincent popped his head outside of the tablecloth and cursed. "We just had that—oh, wait, that's the one we were planning to knock down eventually."

Zephyr yanked Vincent back underneath the table right before a flying teapot struck the ground, splashing everyone in sight with scalding hot tea.

"Now, now," scolded Louis Cypher, who for some inexplicable reason had decided to dress up as a Japanese schoolgirl, complete with brunette wig and messenger bag. "If you insist on behaving in such a preposterous manner, you shall have no cake."

Teddie pouted, and put the teapot back on the table. It was less inexplicable why Teddie had decided to dress up as Alice; he was reusing the costume from some crossdessing contest that he had won a few years ago. His idea of Alice's character, however, was even more bizarre than Louis Cypher's schoolgirl costume.

Right on cue, Teddie turned yet another one of his victims into a zombie, giggling happily as it bumbled into a Sudama who looked like it really wanted to be somewhere else, and promptly exploded.

"…Nergal, you're cleaning this mess up."

X

Vincent had to admit that Teddie's sudden bout of insanity wasn't really Nergal's fault. Vincent never paid much attention to what Nergal told him about ruling the Netherworld; after escaping his stifling life to become a demon, he wasn't about to let such stuffy things like precedent get in the way of his freedom, and so hadn't paid much attention to the whining Nergal. And it had worked out fine for years; Nergal had spent more time playing video games than doing any actual ruling.

Since Vincent usually spent his Halloween drinking with friends, Nergal had no reason to tell him about the grand tradition of the Hallow's Eve LARP party, where costumed demons gathered at the Netherworld Palace to play games such as Hide and Seek and Capture the Flag. Or that to make everything more fun, Ose of the Ars Goetia altered the minds of everyone involved to believe that they were their costumes.

Still, everything else was Nergal's fault for not vetting his guests properly.

For whatever reason, some mortal had the gall to summon Nergal and bind him to his service, and had convinced Nergal to accept compensation in the form of video game companionship. That Nergal was desperate enough to force mortals to play with him was not at all surprising to Vincent; after all, Vincent beat him every time, Catherine wasn't interested, his wife Ereshkigal and his sister-in-law Ishtar were too obsessed with beating each other in competitive Tetris to pay attention to him, and all of his minions and former minions let him win out of fear. What surprised Vincent was that Nergal liked this mortal and his friends (who also played video games with him) enough to invite them to a party, and that these friends were daft enough to accept a demon's invitation.

In hindsight, Vincent really should have realized that anyone who could have a casual chat with a gigantic devil was probably someone to watch out for. At least Teddie could be (mostly) placated with a tea party and lots of sweets, unlike Nergal's summoner (Kazuya), who was currently shaking down a group dressed as Innocent Bystanders (who found just as much amusement out of those costumes as humans dressed as serial killers, thieves, and other bad role models) for protection money, flanked by someone covered head to toe in black armor, save for a small sticker reading 'Hello my name is: Tony'.

Vincent looked at the sticker on Soma's chest. "So, uh… what's with the stickers?"

Stolas gave a long suffering sigh. "Any costume traits associated with the name 'Penelope' would have been overshadowed by the Inquisitor costume," he explained. "And that boy is unable to properly emulate an Italian stereotype."

"Ah," said Vincent, who was just as confused as the audience. He held out a hand, and an orb of dark magic appeared.

"I would not advise a head-on confrontation," said Stolas, as Zephyr gently pushed his hand away. "A not insignificant number of us would only be momentarily inconvenienced by your attack, and would take revenge should you attack any of the others."

Vincent was about to open his mouth to say that they had free revival services, but a heavy leather rope lashed around his neck, choking him.

A heeled boot stomped onto Vincent's back. "It looks like someone is in need of a little discipline," said a woman's voice.

Normally, Vincent was all for fun and games with instruments of torture. But the pain in this whip spoke of murder and executions, not pleasure and play.

He clawed at his throat, but that just made the whip tighter. He rolled from side to side, but she dug her foot deeper into his back.

"Madam, I do not know what the safe word is, but we do not consent," Stolas interrupted.

There was a pause, and the leather whip uncoiled, leaving Vincent gasping for air. "Oh," said the woman, carefully removing her foot from Vincent's back. "Sorry about that. I thought you were roleplaying as a submissive."

"An easy mistake to make," said Stolas agreeably, as Vincent rubbed his neck vigorously. "I believe that it would be wise to ask first."

Unsurprisingly, she was dressed from head to toe in black leather, with a layer of black cloth to prevent chafing. Like many dominatricies, she was wearing a hat, but rather than the stereotypical police or officer's hat, it was a brown fedora. _I mean, I guess it goes with the whip?_ If Vincent remembered her name correctly, it was… um… Owie?

Aoi nodded. "Rule four: better to break character than to break bones."

"In fact, I believe that that gentleman… I apologize, but I cannot point at the moment… the gentleman in the suit with the fedora and candy cigar would very much enjoy a night with a lady as lovely as yourself."

"Duly noted," said Aoi, picking up her whip.

Vincent stood up. "Oh, yeah, no sex allowed in the castle tonight."

Aoi fiddled with her whip. "Why?"

 _Because you can't consent if you're not in your right mind, and even though it's my job to send succubi and incubi to seduce humans, you'd probably kill me if you remember that I didn't stop you_. "Sanitary reasons."

Aoi crossed her arms. "Sanitary reasons," she repeated.

Vincent nodded.

"And the giant pit of fire ants and honey in the attic is perfectly okay?"

"…Well, honey is an antibiotic, isn't it?" said Vincent.

Aoi sighed. "Whatever. It's your party."

She strode confidently towards Kazuya and the gang of terrified demons (many of whom Vincent had seen tear other demons to pieces in single combat). Whatever Aoi the dominatrix said, Kazuya the mafia don seemed to like it, and they ran off together into a side room, protection money abandoned.

Stolas and Vincent would have looked at each other had Zephyr had the proper stage directions. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" said Vincent.

"Sadly, telepathy is not one of my magical abilities," said Stolas.

Vincent grinned and told Stolas the plan.

X

"Hey, youse looking for some… cannoli?" said Vincent in the best bad Italian accent he could muster. "Because the kitchens—"

The guy who was dressed as the Black Knight from Monty Python turned to face him. "If you're here about the brainwashing, forget it," he said.

Zephyr was so shocked that he fell over backwards, and pointed at Tony the Black Knight in horror. "Pardon me?" said Stolas politely.

"Mind control doesn't work on me," he said, opening his helmet to eat a canape.

"But—mafia don—"

'Tony' shrugged. "Going along with it was easier than fighting back."

Zephyr puffed himself up, posed dramatically, and pointed at 'Tony'. Stolas growled, "Then you, miscreant, of your own free will, have assaulted—"

'Tony' continued to eat his canape. "Don't you have something better to do? If you still have a problem, go ask your master to fight me tomorrow."

Zephyr bristled, but did not move.

"Thought not." 'Tony' stared off at a wall. "This will make total sense in… three, maybe four chapters?"

X

"Hello, Tony's needs a che…" Vincent muttered to himself. "I bet that Tony over there would be happy to help you with a… You know what Tony would love right now…" He slumped against a wall. "Christ, I can't do it."

Zephyr clapped him hard on the shoulder. "Worry not," said Stolas, who then gave him a perfectly valid reason that cannot be revealed to the audience at the moment.

Vincent blinked. "O…kay then?"

It is said that if you play a video game too much, then you start seeing signs of it everywhere. Gamers who play 3D platformers see parkour paths on every roof and fire escape, people are discouraged from playing Mario Kart and driving, and Tetris is an excellent way to learn special reasoning (if you are willing to waste a not insignificant chunk of your life).

If there is anything that remains with a player long beyond the game is done, it is sound. Music soundtracks follow players everywhere, stealth gamers try to hide when alarms ring, and sound effects show up in the most unexpected places. But above all else, players hear voices. They hear the narration, the mocking tones of the villain, the aggressive bite of the rival characters, and the obnoxious chirping of the animal companion.

And one word haunts the ears and minds of players. It is not Navi's ignorable "Hey," nor the memetic "OBJECTION!" on the lips of many a fictional lawyer. It is a word that must be heard, on a game that cannot be muted, in a world where you hold the lives of all other players in your hands. Failing to heed that call guarantees pain, from enemies and teammates alike, and so players are forced to hear tha cursed word over, and over, and over, until they hear it in their sleep.

Vincent took in a deep breath, and shouted that word.

" _ **MEDIC!**_ "

As expected, a figure in red and white charged towards them, stuffed dove bobbing from the shoulder. "Vat iz eeit?" said Mina Hakuba in a bad German accent. Her white coat was stained with rusty blood (her blood, but she hadn't injured herself to get it), and the glint in her eye was almost as bad as the glint of the (very real, as it turned out) knife in the hands of the boy dressed as a werewolf wizard.

The overall effect was rather spoiled by the hacksaw, which was clearly tin foil over cardboard. And the 'medigun', which was just a super soaker; Ose's magic prevented her from realizing that she didn't need the water to heal.

"I bet that Tony over there would love to help you with a live vivisection!" said Vincent quickly.

Mina gave a maniacal grin. "Und I vill decide how he shall… help?"

"Of course," said Stolas smoothly.

Mina the Medic belted out an evil laugh that terrified Vincent, but wouldn't have ranked Top Ten compared to the rest of Nergal's guests. "To ze laboratory!" she shrieked.

Vincent looked at Stolas. "You are absolutely sure that he'll be fine?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

X

Now all that was left was Popeye 'Naoki' the Sailor Man. Actually, there were a lot of others people to deal with, but they haven't been introduced yet.

What? Fine, 'Tony' wasn't, either, but I had to tell you about him so I could get to Mina.

Of all of Nergal's guests, the Demi Fiend was the only one that Vincent had heard about. Like Vincent, he was a demon who was once a human, but much, much stronger. Where Vincent had bested Nergal alongside Catherine, the Demi Fiend had slaughtered thousands upon thousands of gods, devils, and angels, many of whom Nergal had advised to avoid at all costs.

If there was anything that Vincent learned from taking over the Netherworld wearing nothing but heart-print boxers, it was to never underestimate someone by their looks. The Demi-Fiend looked like a short, flighty teenager to begin with, and the sailor suit and pipe did nothing for him. In fact, the sailor suit made him look more like a teenager playing a British child. And yet every instinct in his body (not related to food, mating, or defecation) screamed at him to run away.

So it was rather disappointing that he only needed one sentence to get him to stop destroying his walls.

"I, Vincent, Lord of the Netherworld, formally request that Popeye the Sailor Man shall serve spinach for dinner!"

Naoki the Sailor Man saluted, then ran off to acquire and cook spinach.

"That was easy," said Vincent.

Zephyr shook his head. "Naoki is not a good cook. First, we must find someone who knows how to cook spinach."

Vincent groaned.

"I know how to cook spinach," said one of Megaten's many characters named Akira. For complicated reasons, he was dressed as the human form of Akira Fudou of Devilman, which made him more lucid than normal.

"Good, go help him," said Vincent.

X

After hours of work, all of Nergal's guests were safely contained. Despite the loss of the most powerful players, the game of Capture the Flag had completed (red team won).

Vincent and Stolas had removed themselves to a Halifax pub, where they could drink in peace.

"I never want to do that again," said Vincent, sipping his banana rum daiquiri. "You're all banned from LARP night."

"I must agree," said Stolas. Zephyr was drinking a non-alcoholic fruit cocktail, because when Soma had a hangover, everybody had a hangover. "However, you cannot deny that the events of this night were truly unforgettable. Chasing Lieutenant Surge down the Fields of Blood and Flame in a magical motorcycle will be emblazoned within my mind for centuries."

"Yeah, but we wasted half an hour trying to get a ghost to take his meds," grumbled Vincent. "Why did it take him so long to realize that he could touch things? Louis Cypher was just fine."

Zephyr recoiled dramatically. "Pardon my ignorance, but why do you mention Hi…Lu…Louis Cypher?" asked Stolas nervously.

"He's a real ghost," said Vincent. "What, you didn't notice?"

Zephyr shook his head dramatically.

… _Maybe I should ask someone about this_. "Anyways, how about that—"

Zephyr went rigid. With slow, robotic movements, he put down the cocktail, and then began to breathe in and out. Then he turned to look at Vincent.

"Hi," said the being that was neither Zephyr nor Stolas. "I'm Soma Cruz, spelled with a zed. Thanks for taking care of my friends back there."

"Vincent, Lord of the Netherworld, Protector of Lost Sheep, S—"

"Yeah, yeah, you did a bunch of stuff, we've all been there," said Soma, rubbing his temples. "Your titles aren't impressing anybody."

"…Vincent Brooks." He took a sip of more liquor. "So, uh… who else do you have in there?"

"The Society?" said Soma. "That was all of them back there. You can join if you want, but only on days when Nergal's not there."

"No, I mean, in your head," said Vincent.

Soma sighed. "Stolas really shouldn't have told you that," he said. "Don't tell anyone else."

"Why?"

Soma shrugged. "Do you tell every human you meet that you're a demon lord? I don't go around announcing that I'm a soul-devouring monster."

Vincent shrugged back. "Yeah, I guess. So, is that more of a—"

The bar suddenly became sweltering hot.

Vincent looked around. "Hey, did you—"

" _Do not cross me, Lord of the Netherworld_ ," growled Soma, eyes blazing red. "Know that I have plundered your realm one hundred times before, and I shall do it one thousand times more if you dare betray me."

Soma got to his feet dramatically. "Should you keep my secrets, I shall spare your life. Until the day we meet again, farewell." He strode out the pub door, jacket flowing in an invisible wind.

Vincent stared. Of course something like this would happen. If he had so many souls in him that they had to vote for a representative, it was only natural that he'd find a nasty one that he couldn't handle. Classic villain mistake; getting greedy and taking more than he could chew.

This also had **nothing to do with his problems**. Sure, whatever demon possessing Soma was probably stronger than him, but he had challenged powers greater than himself twice before, and emerged victorious. Except he had no reason to gamble his life to rescue this kid. Vincent had to win against Dumuzid to live and get Catherine back, and he smote Nergal to marry his daughter and usurp him as Lord of the Netherworld. Besides, the kid didn't seem to be in any immediate danger. His friends could take care of him.

The pub door opened again. "Oh, don't bother trying to warn my other self," said the demon in Soma's body. "He can't even remember that his memory is missing, even if you remind him."

The pub door shut.

Vincent stared at Soma's drink. "I guess I'm paying for that?"

The pub door opened again. "Hey, uh… could you give me a ride home?" said Soma, eyes back to normal. "I don't know we got here."

X

Meanwhile, Yoko Belnades, Kaitou, and the Jack Bros. were chilling out together in her apartment. Well, heating in the case of Pyro Jack. And the Agents were working on damage control due to the influx of demons. And Julius Belmont was off doing important Belmont stuff. Whether they had declined Nergal's invitation or hadn't been on the list to begin with is a spoiler.

TO BE CONTINUED!

One day, I want to write a real capture the flag game where everyone uses their absurd powers. But that day is not today.

The unthemed costumes:

Vincent Brooks is dressed as his human self dressed as his demon self. He was able to opt out of Ose's spell.

Teddie is dressed as Alice, again. He isn't dressed in his bear suit because he considers Halloween to be a night where you dress up as something you aren't, and he still considers the bear suit as one of his bodies.

Louis Cypher is dressed as Hikaru, the schoolgirl disguise worn by SMT4's 'Lucifer' (whom I consider to be a separate entity). Like Teddie, he isn't in any of his other forms because he considers those to be himself, and Halloween is a night where you're something you aren't. Also, Ose's spell never worked on him. He was just playing along for fun. Actually, pretty much anything that Lucifer does in this story is for fun. Pretty much everything he does is either to further his own goals or for random amusement, and since I don't know his goals and can't come up with complex, functional plans, it all defaults to random amusement. Or it's all just one cog in an extremely complicated plan that lies beyond the scope of this story.

A ghost.

The mystery theme costumes:

Soma is part of the Spanish Inquisition from Monty Python, except he is named Penelope.

Kazuya is a mafia don.

Naoki is Popeye the Sailor Man.

Aoi is a dominatrix.

Mina is The Medic from Team Fortress 2.

The themed costumes of characters who haven't been introduced:

Ellen Ripley from Alien.

Marty McFly from Back to the Future.

Captain Nobeard, a pirate.

The Lone Wanderer of Fallout 3.

The Black Knight from Monty Python, named Tony here.

A werewolf-wizard; saying more would be too obvious.

Akira from Devilman.

Lt. Surge from Pokémon.

I'm not making up what Stolas said about the Spanish Inquisition. While I won't say that everyone was a skeptic, the Spanish Inquisition was skeptical about witches and demons. The most famous skeptic was Alonso de Salazar Frias (unrelated to Salazar Slytherin; J.K. Rowling took his name from Portuguese dictator Antonio Salazar). He got a lot of cases thrown out based on lack of evidence; not only was there no physical proof, the testimonies didn't match up. It helped that most of the confessions were about attending sabbaths while sleeping. He concluded that it was all paranoid people having bad dreams, and if any supernatural shenanigans were going on, it was the Devil duping people with bad dreams to get them killed.

I'm not actually sure whether the Inquisitors scoffed at all magic as superstition, or if they just thought these specific cases of 'went to a Sabbath in my dreams, so I'm a witch' were ridiculous.

Stolas's explanation on why he can't use magic is also a real school of thought, although I'm pretty sure that's not what the Spanish Inquisition believed in. Basically, since only God is powerful enough to change His creation, demons can't alter the physical world and can at most alter peoples' minds. I realized halfway through writing this that Inquisitor!Soma wouldn't believe in this school, but I went with it because it went neatly with the idea of magical belief.

Vincent is strong, but he's the weakest Megaten protagonist, since combat isn't a part of his game at all. Pretty much any Castlevania fighter can beat him, too.

I wanted to have an omake showing what the Agents were up to last year, but I didn't have any ideas for plot, just costumes. Can you spot any themes?

Agent Lily, or Jun Kurosu, was Sailor Mercury, partially because they have similar haircuts, but mostly because his initial Persona is Hermes.

Agent Dragon, or Lisa Silverman, was going to be Raphael of the Ninja Turtles, because the ninja turtles know martial arts.

Agent Reaper, or Eikichi Mishima, was going to be Captain Ginyu, to go with Captain Death.

You don't care about her, but I really wanted to show the description of Agent Wolf's costume. She's dressed as Akalinetta McDuffel, the protagonist of a popular anime that came out in 2027. She forged a suit of armor that resembles a school uniform, knitted a bright red and impractically long scarf that floats in the wind, dyed her hair dark green and put in purple contact lenses, then put on sunglasses, and slathered her legs in green gelatin.

Agent Fireball was going to be Cyborg 009, because it's a classic manga and anime that I like.

Arikado (whose Agent name I haven't decided yet) was going to be the Thing from the Black Lagoon. Because the costume is so ridiculous, and it's even funnier on someone as serious as Alucard.


	7. Chapter 7: Don't Drink and Dash

The OC Agents are all stock character parodies, so have fun trying to figure out what they parody. Here's a freebie: Agent Ninja is the one with a Dark Past that haunts her to this very day, and it manifests itself in bizarre ways. You still don't need to know who's who to enjoy the story; it's just a fun extra.

If you do want to know who's who, I changed Agent Violet to Agent Peony to avoid confusion with Phantom Thief Violet. It was supposed to be a generic flower name; how was I supposed to know it was taken? Agent Peony is also not related to the dream fairy from _Fire Emblem Heroes_. I am not changing it again, or else there'll be someone named Daisy in _Grimoire of Souls_ or the Netflix series.

Also, for everyone late to the party: Agents Reaper, Dragon, and Lily are Eikichi 'Michelle' Mishina, Lisa 'Ginko' Silverman, and Jun Kurosu of _Persona 2: Innocent Sin_. I haven't forgotten about the rest of the cast, either. Except for the ones from _Persona 1_ ; I don't know them well enough.

At the end of _Aria_ , after Soma and Julius's fight, Soma says that Julius was holding back. His specific words are: "The strength of a Belmont… No… the strength of a vampire hunter is greater than this." I've heard that this means that the average vampire hunter is even stronger than Soma or Julius, but I disagree. I think it just means that Soma acknowledges Julius's strength as a vampire hunter rather than a descendant of a clan; he sees Julius as his own person.

I had a dream where for some reason there was a _Fire Emblem_ show or something, and Salem finally appeared. Except the only thing he did was poison a nosy journalist's meal. Guess he's frustrated about getting his poison privileges revoked.

Then I had another dream about a Megaten fan comic. The only thing I remember was that the Embryon were riding the subway, and Heat wasn't happy about it.

I'm watching the show _The Good Place_ , and I think it has a lot of crossover potential with pretty much anything. Especially with dead Megaten characters.

In the hypothetical event where Soma has a Palace and the Phantom Thieves try to steal his heart, all of his souls will appear in his Palace, but won't appear as masked Shadows. Any of Soma's souls can tell him that the thieves are there, but he also can't kick them out because he thinks can't kick out his souls without Yoko's help.

Looking back, I should have given Captain Nobeard the nickname Billy the Kid (which makes it obvious who it is). He'd still talk like a pirate.

Even though Persona overshadowed vanilla Megaten as the cash cow, I'm not upset. Even if I didn't like Persona, its popularity means that the company won't run out of money to make Megaten games. There are a lot of franchises that won't see the light of day because the companies went out of business.

 **Who knows what secret** :

The only people who know that Soma is Dracula are the Castlevania characters who know in canon. Kazuya knows that he is the reincarnation of some powerful wizard and thinks he only has the power to create fire, weapons, and curry.

The only person who know that Naoki is a demon is Aoi. The way I interpret the Freedom Ending, it's left ambiguous whether anyone except for Yuko, Lucifer, and the Demi-Fiend remembers the events of the game, so Hikawa, Hijiri, Isamu, and Chiaki may or may not know.

A lot of people know Aoi's real name. Some people know about her gang activities, including Yoko, the Agents, and of course, her gang. But only Naoki knows both.

Soma and Mina know that Kazuya is a demon summoner from another dimension. Technically, Aoi knows, but she doesn't know he's even there.

Neither Kazuya nor Aoi know that they're both in the same dimension and town.

Soma, Mina, Aoi, Aoi's gang, and Naoki know that Yoko and the Agents are in town, but not what they're doing there. Naoki, Aoi, and her gang think they're just generally cleaning up the city rather than looking for a specific target, while Soma and Mina know they're after something specific, but not that they're doing lots of other stuff. Kazuya only knows they exist.

Technically, lots of people know that Julius Belmont is in Haruhata, including Kazuya. But only Soma and Mina know who he is and why this is important.

The only person who knows the identity of the murderer is the accomplice.

The only person who knows that the murderer has an accomplice, and the identity of the accomplice, is the murderer.

Your Daily Public Service Announcement Against Underage Drinking

" _Underage drinking laws are terrible and no one should follow them_."

-Diary of Kazuya Kawamoto

The call was on such short notice that it couldn't have even been called notice. Agents Seal, Tiger, Ninja, Peony, and Wolf were all on patrol duty when Agent Fireball ordered them all to the site of the explosion that levelled half a dozen trees.

Agent Seal, who was used to this sort of thing from his training as a member of the Japanese equivalent of the US Navy SEALS, quickly took stock of the situation. The remains of a small campfire stood in a corner, embers glowing faintly. Besides the obvious line of destroyed trees, there were empty cartridges and bullets scattered around, also still hot. Here and there were puddles of blood and another strange, faintly glowing liquid (Agent Peony took samples of both). And if anyone could see past those, they might even notice the burn marks on almost every other tree, ones that looked like fire from miniature lightning strikes. And then there were the two sets of footprints.

All those could wait. For now, the line of broken trees was the biggest priority. After partitioning off the scene and taking pictures of everyone's footprints (so that they could tell theirs from the culprits'), Agent Seal sidled towards the tunnel of fallen trees—

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPER!"

X

Kazuya's behavior warrants some explanation. It would be accurate, but not sufficient, to say that he was acting this way because he was drunk. To fully encapsulate what was going on in Kazuya's head, it is important to know the following facts.

First, Kazuya was one of those people whose mistrust of authority ran deeper than mere hatred. This wasn't because of any sense of inferiority or jealousy; if he were crowned Supreme Overlord and Dictator of the World, he would still disbelieve political figures on principle and cross the street to avoid police officers while glaring suspiciously (although these were all perfectly reasonable things for anyone to do if the title of Supreme Overlord and Dictator of the World was ever implemented). Most encounters with the law were resolved either by bribery or murder. And since Kazuya had a tight budget, and had just dipped into his 'comfort demon' allowance twice in one day (without even getting food out of it), he was not in the mood to bribe anyone.

Second, Kazuya hated hiding. That is, he was fine with lying low so that passing demons wouldn't notice him; avoiding fights was just common sense. He was also fine with lying in wait for ambushes; dirty tactics saved his life an innumerable amount of times. And of course he was fine with concealing his belongings in case of theft. Hiding was cowering from enemies who knew you were there, but not where. Hiding was the hand over your mouth, the feverish prayer to whatever god out there that your heart wasn't beating as loudly as you thought it was, the silence when the person next to you is dragged into the street, the bitter tears when your allies are executed one by one as you do absolutely nothing to save them, and the blunt, dull pain of tomorrow, when you realize that you could have saved your friends if you had all just ambushed your enemies before you sacrificed all of your allies to feed the faint hope that you'd come out unscathed.

And third, and most importantly, Kazuya was a sixty-something year old man in the body of a late teenager. Specifically, an man who had spent an unhealthy number of years drinking heavily, and a teenager who had never drank more than a pint of liquor over the course of his entire life (although this was more out of convenience, laziness, and stinginess than any moral argument). As a result of this dissonance, the amount of alcohol he thought was enough to make him appear to be drunk was greater than the amount of alcohol that would actually get him drunk. Especially since he hadn't eaten anything since lunch.

X

The drunken teenager hurtled out of the bushes, catching Agent Seal completely by surprise. Before he could fully process that he had been attacked, he was already on the ground, knees and elbows locked and two cold fingers pressed against his jugular.

Luckily, Agent Seal was a former member of the Japanese equivalent of the US Navy SEALS, and knew a maneuver that could throw any would-be restrainer and turn the tables on them, regardless of size.

Unfortunately, a second (less) drunk teenager, yelling, " **WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING**?!" (in English) tried to yank the first teenager off. This teenager, while less drunk than the first one, did not seem to know how to break someone else's hold. Merely dogpiling the first teenager (and Agent Seal) was a perfectly reasonable technique, one that Agent Seal could easily escape. However, for some reason, this second teenager's idea of breaking a submission hold was to grab both people, lift them above his head, and shake them until he let go.

X

Soma's behavior warrants some explanation.

First, Soma was strong. That is to say, in terms of raw physical prowess, on a scale between 'look at how many pull-ups I can do!,' and 'I did the math, and without physics getting in the way, you can punch a kilogram of ice to the temperature of the sun's surface' (a region reserved for individuals such as the Demi-Fiend), Soma scored somewhere between 'unexpectedly strong for someone of his build, but he could be ripped underneath that shirt' and 'I am almost willing to accept that vampires are real if it can explain this'.

Second, while Soma had a handful of abilities that could restrain Kazuya without hurting him (usually by asking Arachne to make webs that weren't poisonous), none of them fit the 'fire and metal' theme, and he wasn't yet desperate enough to show off his extra abilities in front of Kazuya.

Third, Soma was Spanish-Japanese American, and due to some very determined parents, was also trilingual. His father wanted Spanish to be his first language, his mother Japanese, and they compromised on English. As a result, when surprised and tipsy, he defaulted to English.

X

Neither Agent Seal nor the first drunken teenager had expected being shaken apart, and since the first drunken teenager kept him restrained by pushing his joints against the ground rather than tangling their limbs together, it wasn't long before his grip broke. Agent Seal was unceremoniously thrown to the ground, more startled than in pain.

Now, the situation could have still been salvaged, had it not been for the drunken foreigner and his bottles.

X

Julius's behavior warrants some explanation.

Julius had spent most of his life as a homeless drifter, and homeless drifters are not exactly known for their material possessions, nor for their friendly relationship with the law. As a form of petty revenge, he stole from every police officer he could (except for the ones who looked as poor as he did). He did not usually need what he stole, and the fences did not always appreciate the random junk he gave them, but it made him feel better. As Julius Belmont, head of the Belmont clan and bearer of a debit card (but not a credit card; 36 years of being off the grid wrought havoc on his credit score), he could no longer act on the urge to rob police officers. Unless, of course, he was drunk.

Julius was also slightly infamous among the Belmont clan for being surprisingly bad at whip techniques, at least for a wielder of the Vampire Killer. This was like coming in last place in an Olympic 200-meter Butterfly Semifinal race; Julius had his doubts about winning against most of the elders and professional hunters of the clan, and he would be the first to admit that he'd lose in a straight fight with his esteemed predecessors, but being able to fight effectively with a whip at all required years of training (unless you were a Persona user, someone who used whips regularly for non-combat purposes, or Leon Belmont), and it was hard to laugh at his record after seeing how many Belmont cousins he defeated in duels.

Still, since he had spent most of his life using every weapon in the Belmont arsenal except for whips, Julius's first instinct was to fight with either martial arts or subweapons. While some could beat him in single contests of throwing axes, crosses, or bottles of holy water, none of them could beat him in all three.

X

The drunken foreigner's boot caught Agent Seal in the solar plexus, leaving him choking and sprawled all over the ground. While he was down, the drunk rummaged through his pockets, nabbing his knives, gun, candy, tissues, napkins, compass, flashlight, matches, and money (but was nice enough to leave the wallet), before tying him up.

From the edge of his vision, his comrades began to realize what was happening. Agent Tiger began to charge. Agent Wolf started chanting a spell. Agent Peony was looking around in panic, all three guns still in their holsters. He couldn't see what Agent Ninja was doing, but that was probably fine.

"SHADOW NINJA STRI—"

Without even looking, the drunken foreigner hurled two glass jars behind him, hitting both Agent Tiger and a bush that turned out to be hiding Agent Ninja. The jars bounced off of the Agents, but shattered when they hit the ground, spilling their contents everywhere. [1] The glass vanished, but whatever was in the jar turned the dirt to mud.

Agent Peony did nothing, as usual, but Agent Wolf had the perfect shot for a spell—

And would have taken down everyone in the area, if it wasn't for that third meddling teenager (who was also, it should go without saying, drunk).

X

Mina's behavior warrants some explanation.

Mina, as the audience may have surmised, suffered from feelings of inadequacy, and inadequacy often leads to stupid impulses to overcompensate. While common sense usually holds such impulses back, drinking is not exactly conducive to common sense.

As a miko, spellcaster, and player of video games, Mina also knew that the highest priority targets should be medics (unless restricted by the Geneva Convention), and the second highest were glass cannon wizards.

And lastly, to protect her precious bow and arrows from the elements, Mina kept them wrapped in oiled cloth and slotted into a sturdy case, which was as long and solid as a quarterstaff.

X

With a mighty whack, Agent Wolf was knocked to the ground, spell broken. Agent Seal couldn't tell who was more surprised (and not just because it was dark and the drunken foreigner stole his flashlight).

"What now?!" the third drunken teenager yelped, still holding the quarterstaff like a bat.

"Run!" shouted the second drunken teenager (or was it the first drunken teenager?).

"Kill!" screeched the first drunken teenager (never mind, that was definitely the second drunken teenager).

"Furați totul!" bellowed the drunken foreigner, throwing more of those bottles at anyone who tried to get up. [A/N 'Steal everything' in Romanian].

"Into the power plant!" shouted Agent Peony. In a different voice still recognizable as hers, she added, "Yes, into the power plant! We can shake them off there!"

"I DON'T TAKE ORDERS FROM YOU!" roared the first drunken teenager, dodging Agent Tiger's flying kick despite being dragged back by the second drunken teenager.

" _If you don't pipe down and stop squirming this instant, I swear to God I'll shove a spear so far up your ass it'll come out of your goddamn mouth_ ," growled the second drunken teenager.

The drunken foreigner was busy tying up Agent Wolf while fending off Agent Ninja and stealing Agent Wolf's canteen. The third drunken teenager seemed to realize that her friends weren't paying attention to her, and dashed down the mountain path alone.

That's when Agent Peony finally called for backup.

X

"The world ended last year."

To this dramatic proclamation, Aoi just nodded and said, "Go on."

"…Your lack of reaction is a little worrying," said Naoki.

Aoi crossed her arms. "Unless I missed something, the world is still here, so you've clearly done something about it. Please stop being unnecessarily dramatic."

Naoki shrugged. "It all started… well, it goes deeper than what I ever saw, but I got involved in April, in my last year of high school. The CEO (or some important position) of Cybers Corporation, Hikawa, thought that the world was broken and needed to be remade, so he found this ritual that let him. He was a member of this cult called… um…"

In one universe, the Demi-Fiend had never entered the Labyrinth of Amala, and never spoke with the Old Man in the Wheelchair. In that universe, the Demi-Fiend only heard the name of the cult once, in a magazine.

Not in this universe. In this universe, he spoke with several former cult members, learned where Hikawa learned how to summon demons, and why he was kicked out of the cult. "Gaia," he said.

This got a reaction out of her. "The Cult of Gaia tried to destroy the world?" Aoi asked incredulously.

Naoki blinked. "How did you know their full name was the Cult of Gaia?"

"I knew them in the future," said Aoi. "They were…" Aoi's expression was comparable to a free speech activist trying very hard not to ruin their message while standing next to a fascist on a pulpit. "They were half 'harmony with the ancient gods wrongly slandered as demons' and half 'anyone who tries to control us is evil'. The least I can say about them is that they wouldn't destroy the world."

 _Sounds like Isamu would fit right in_.

Naoki nodded. "Actually, even the cult hated Hikawa, but he killed them before they could stop him. I don't know much about them."

Aoi gave him a hard look. "You said that you became a demon after getting on a cult's bad side."

Naoki shook his head. "The distinction between 'cult', 'one cultist', and 'one rebel cultist' didn't seem important. That's not a lie; it's a simplification."

This seemed to satisfy Aoi, so Naoki continued. "Somehow, Hikawa conned my teacher into helping him, but my teacher wanted me to live, so she brought me and… she brought me to the place where they were holding the ritual, which was the only place guaranteed not to be destroyed."

 _Isamu and Chiaki are personal. She doesn't need to know about them._

 _What about Hijiri?_

 _Eh, if he comes up._

"How did Hikawa destroy the world?"

Naoki shrugged. "I don't know how he did it. He fulfilled a prophecy?"

"No, what was the vehicle of destruction? My world was destroyed by nuclear war."

Naoki blinked. "Hold on, when you say 'destroyed', do you mean a terrible cataclysm, or the literal end of days?"

"Cataclysm," admitted Aoi.

"My world literally ended," said Naoki. "I woke up in a place called the Vortex World. Vortex Worlds are… they're like little mini dimensions that form after a world ends, and whatever happens there decides how the next world is born. If a surviving human finds a… fulfils a bunch of conditions, they can shape the new world. Long story short, despite having the body of a demon, I'm human enough to count, so I fulfilled those conditions and created a new world exactly the same as the old one, so nobody noticed." Naoki hadn't realized how stiff his shoulders were. "And that's how the world ended."

Aoi nodded. "You restored the world?"

"Of course I did," said Naoki. "Every other option was terrible. Did you think I'd leave it behind?"

Aoi gave him a strange look. "No. I was just jealous. I left my world behind in pieces."

"Literal pieces?"

Aoi shook her head. "At the time of my death, we no longer had to live in a wasteland, but Tokyo was still not a pleasant place to live."

Aoi took in a deep breath. "As I've already told you, I'm from a completely different timeline. I was born in alternate year 2025, but that isn't where my story begins. Do you believe in reincarnation?"

"Yes."

Aoi blinked. "You seem certain. Do you know someone who reincarnated?"

"Jyoji Hijiri," said Naoki. "I'm not telling you anything else; it's not my place to tell you his secrets."

 _What else is there to tell? I don't even know who he was._

 _Yeah, but I know about that curse of his._

"I'm my own aunt and niece," said Aoi, crossing her arms. "Complicated is meeting your father as your cousin whom you must treat as your younger brother. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I only remember some of my past life, but I do know that in 1999, a scientist accidentally opened a portal to the world of demons, and demons invaded the world."

Naoki gulped as his stomach lining turned to lead.

"Naturally, there was mass panic. I don't know about the rest of the world, but in Tokyo, a Japanese general named Gotou attempted a coup and declared marshal law to fight the demons. He was a member of the Cult of Gaia. The American ambassador Thorman (who was Thor in disguise) also tried to restore order and brought in American troops from a nearby base, but his solution was to destroy Tokyo to stem the source of the demon outbreak. Naturally, both sides fought each other to the death."

"I had some bad experiences with Thor," grumbled Naoki.

"Did he nuke your country and kill your past life?" asked Aoi icily.

Naoki froze. "He nuked you? With his troops still in the city?"

Aoi sighed. "In his mind, they'd go straight to Valhalla for their sacrifices, I'm sure. I don't think any of them knew their commander was going to kill them; I remember this one soldier right bef—"

Aoi stopped. "Regardless, I wasn't happy with the way they were handling things, so I gathered a group of like-minded fighters and led a Resistance movement."

"Even though they were keeping you safe from demons?" said Naoki.

Aoi scowled. "All the safety in the world doesn't matter if we're living in fear. And who were they to decide that we had to die for them? They were worse than the demons."

 _Holy cow, this is some déjà vu._

"And then he nuked you."

"And then he nuked us, yes," sighed Aoi. "Twenty years after doomsday, I was born to the cousin of my past life. By then, the Cult of Gaia had grown into a powerful sect, but they were opposed by the Order of Messiah, which—don't tell me you heard of them, too."

"I know they exist and they hate the Gaiains, and that's it," said Naoki.

"The Gaians and Messians are bitter enemies," said Aoi. "I was born into the Order. And before you ask, no, I don't follow their teachings, and no, I don't hate the Gaians. I left when I met one of my companions from before—he was transported to the future by my past life—and together we fought both the Messians and Gaians until we could settle a peace treaty and rebuild society." She scowled. "A mere ten years later, the Messians manipulated the upper echelons so that only their supporters remained in power, and made the Gaian religion illegal. They couldn't kill or exile me, so they shoved me into a slum post until I was too influential, and then decided I was less dangerous dead."

Naoki blinked. "And then reincarnated again?"

Aoi shrugged. "I can't tell if it's reincarnation or memory manipulation, but three years ago, I woke up in the body of another Aoi Miyama. Ever since, I've been living her life." She sighed. "I hope she's all right."

"That's all you can do," said Naoki in a conciliatory voice.

Aoi stretched. "I have one last question. How did Lucifer turn you into a demon?"

 _Bug in my eye, bug in my eye, bug in my eye, bu—_

 _Lust for power, murder of innocents, muddy—_

"Worry not, I have no intention of attempting it on anyone, myself included," Aoi said, raising both her palms. "I have borne witness to countless tragedies after similar transformations. I just want to check something."

 _Is my poker face really that bad?_

 _Yes. Yes it is._

"What do you want to check?" asked Naoki.

Aoi took out a piece of paper. "I want to see how you'd be classified. People who are both demon and human aren't uncommon in my world, so forgive me for curiosity."

"Both demon and human?" repeated Naoki.

 _That's a little wordy._

"It's wordy, but it's the most neutral term the committee came up with," said Aoi. "Hybrid sounds like something you'd call a plant or a vehicle, half-human or half-demon favors one side, and sub-human was just wrong."

"Sub-human?" repeated Naoki.

"Exactly," said Aoi.

 _Am I the only person who was given the Magatama?_

 _If there were a lot of demons where she was from, then they must have caught one at some point._

 _It's still not that intuitive, letting it eat your eye._

 _No, I don't think every demon has a Magatama, or I'd be up to my neck in them. Besides, Jack Frost didn't recognize them when he sold them to me._

 _Still can't tell if I'm the only one out there._

When Naoki paused for a little too long, Aoi shrugged. "If you still don't want to tell me how, you don't have to. I can just ask the other questions."

"Oh, um… fire away."

 _Why didn't she just tell me the categories?_

 _Too many, I suppose._

 _Or result bias._

"Question one," said Aoi. "Did you use the Cathedral of Shadows to fuse with a demon?"

"You can do that?" Naoki said without thinking.

 _Didn't I just say that I wasn't going to tell her how?_

 _Yeah, but it doesn't count if she already knows that way._

Aoi nodded. "I've seen it done, and it rarely ends well. Question two: were the other Fiends former humans like you?"

Naoki shook his head. "I don't know. The question never came up." [2]

Aoi nodded again. "Question three: can you transform other humans into demons?"

Naoki's throat clenched. "I don't know. I've never tried."

 _I mean, it's not really a lie if I didn't do it? Chiaki was the one who tried shoving Marogareh down her eye socket._

 _Would it have worked if I helped?_

 _Come to think of it, why didn't Hijiri ask me? It's not like he knew about the whole 'only humans can have a Reason' thing._

 _Or that he's cursed._

 _Would it have worked on Manikins?_

 _No. I would never do such a thing._

 _Of course not. But wondering never harmed anyone._

"Last question," said Aoi. "Do you know anyone else who was turned into a demon the same way as you?"

"Not as far as I know," said Naoki.

Aoi nodded. "Thank you."

"That's it?" asked Naoki.

"There are only three categories, and I know you're not a Nephilim," said Aoi.

"What do fallen angel children have to do with anything?"

Aoi shook her head. "It's just a word for people born part demon and part human. The other two categories are Demonoids, which are humans who fused with demons in the Cathedral, and Vectors, humans who were transformed by another demon, like vampires or zombies."

"What about ones who are basically dead people?" asked Naoki.

"The last time I checked, people were still arguing over that," said Aoi. "We generally consider ghosts to still be human, but there was an argument to make them Vectors, since you can come back as a ghost if a ghost kills you."

"No, like real people who died and got shrines," said Naoki.

Aoi shrugged. "It depends on why they were deified. If they were originally ancestral spirits, they're human ghosts until they're honored out of tradition instead of love and ascribed supernatural powers when prayed to, at which point they undergo apotheosis. If they were worshiped upon death like the Roman emperors, they're deities the moment they die. If they were enshrined and honored out of fear of what they could do in the afterlife like the scholar god Tenjin, they're deities the moment they're honored. I don't know about living deities like the Egyptian pharaohs or… I can't remember which country or countries still do that, but I've never encountered one and so I don't know where they fall." Aoi shrugged. "I suppose the Messians failed to consider this category, because there is supposed to only be One True God. Perhaps they would consider them to be unquiet ghosts, saints, or charlatans with supernatural powers should they still live. But I suppose you're right, gods are as human as sentient Vectors, and there should be a fourth category."

 _She really does love the sound of her own voice._

 _Hey, she told me in one conversation more than what Ms. Takao told me the entire time we were in the Vortex World._

Aoi looked at the clock. "It's getting late. I need to go back to the doctor tonight, so you can have one more question." She wrote down her contact information.

"Oh, right," said Naoki. "I was wondering about that."

"My number?"

"No, why do you need the doctor if you already know healing magic?"

Aoi sighed. "Have you ever played a video game where healing magic is readily available, and yet someone will inexplicably die of their wounds for the plot?"

" _Final Fantasy V_ had a good explanation," said Naoki.

"I haven't played that one, but you get the idea," said Aoi. "The point is, they're not entirely wrong. Are you familiar with the Dia line? Media, Diarama?"

"Yes," said Naoki.

"Dia heals you with what you already have," said Aoi. "It's easy, fast, and doesn't cost a lot of magic. The more advanced healing spells work by regenerating body parts, accelerating the natural healing process, or even turning back time. They're better than Dia, since they can return lost blood or replace failed organs, but they take years of dedicated study. Medics who learn them are generally too valuable to send on the front lines; fighters stick with Dia."

"Why—?"

"Don't I learn those spells?" said Aoi. "I never had the time. I was either surviving or holding down a job."

Naoki nodded. "I get it. But if you already have your rib, why can't you reattach it?"

Aoi turned the rib over in her hands. "Right now, this rib technically isn't part of my body. I could put it back, but I don't want to get the wound infected."

"You could dip it in alcohol," suggested Naoki.

"And I could drink the rest of the bottle to numb the pain as I cut open my own chest and jab a rib inside," said Aoi in an aggressively level voice. "Even the best doctors would rather enlist a complete amateur than operate on themselves. I'd either almost pass out from the pain, or I'd be too high to keep my hands straight."

Naoki shuddered. "…I won't keep you, then. Good night."

Aoi picked up her bag. "Good night."

X

 _That one turned on a radio transmitter_ , said Mothman.

 _Wait, if you can hear radio, how are you not deaf?_

 _Really? Is that really what you should be focusing on right now?_

Soma, who only took a few sips of liquor, quickly realized that Mina had the right idea.

"You can't kill every cop in town, K—iriyama!" Soma yelled, substituting the name at the last second. "We need to run!"

"We can't run!" Kazuya yelled back, a voice of fury laced with… desperation?

…Was Kazuya _scared_?

Then it clicked. Soma had seen—no, Dracula had seen it hundreds of times before. The most dangerous opponents were the ones who were cornered, the ones who had nothing left to lose. There was that old adage about a cornered rat, warnings about chasing rattlesnakes, and a proverb about a Chinese general who destroyed his own cooking pots and boats to force his men to fight.

Time to mend those pots.

"I know spells for night vision and speed," said Soma soothingly. "If you just calm down, we can get away."

Kazuya, however, was still as jumpy as a squirrel on cocaine. "They know our faces, they'll—"

Julius cracked his whip, and all eyes were on him. "Never kill police," he said in a low voice. "I don't care how much you think they deserve it, they won't rest until their comrade is avenged. Who do you think they'll care more about, some drunk teenagers or a cop killer?"

"Um…" said… Violet? Rose? Rhododendron? Peony, the one who had just stood there when her comrades fought. "We… well, you see, n—not to be rude or anything, but we're just checking out those trees. So, um… we don't care if you've been drinking and camping. We won't take you in if you surrender… I mean, if it's fine with you."

"Even though we beat up your comrades?" Soma asked warily.

Peony nodded vigorously. "We don't need to fight! We just need you to tell us what you saw, and then you can leave! Our backup is really strong, and you don't want to fight them!"

That sounded good.

"All right, then," said Soma testily.

The agent called… Walrus? Dolphin? Porpoise? Seal stood up. "All we need is a statement, and you're free to go. What are your names?"

 _Don't do it_ , warned Killer Clown.

 _Why not?_

 _How are you going to explain how you got up there in the first place?_ Killer Clown pointed out. _She thinks you've been camping, but there's no tent. If you were hiking, why are you hiking at night?_

 _He's drunk. It's a universal excuse_ , said a Ghost Dancer

 _No, it's not_ , said a Zombie Soldier. _One, he barely had any. Two, even if they believed you were drunk enough to climb a mountain at ten at night, you're too clean. A drunk would have tripped and gotten dirty. Three, I forget three, but four, if you're interrogated separately, the story's bound to crack._

 _Crap, you're right_ , said Soma. _Peeping Eye, get ready._

 _Aye-aye, captain!_

Soma squeezed his eyes shut, switched the souls, and opened them. Using the Peeping Eye for was like taking off a pair of half-melted prescription sunglasses that belonged to an old, cat-loving grandmother. While there was a sensory overload problem, it was also great for night vision, even if random details kept on screaming for attention, like how one of the Agents was wearing a hilarious shirt, or how the ghost of his best friend was staring at him, or how the vines on that tree was poisono—

He blinked. A blonde, pale knight was observing the battlefield, muttering inaudibly with his hand on his chin. When their eyes met, the knight gave him a look of surprise, pointed at him, and said something that Soma couldn't hear. When Soma pointed at his ears and shook his head, the knight shook his head, shrugged, and then pointed at Julius, then down a path.

Soma had no idea what this meant, but he could always come back later.

 _Does anyone know who that is?_

There was a discussion.

 _We think it is best for all of us if you hear it from him, not us,_ said Alura Une gently.

 _He means you no harm_ , added White Dragon.

 _Don't stop for him! We need to get out of here!_ Waiter Skeleton screamed.

"Are you all right, buddy?" asked Agent Seal. "You look—aaah!"

With one fluid motion, Soma swept Kazuya off his feet and into his arms, bridal style, and sprinted down an animal trail in the direction the ghost pointed.

"What the hell, S—what the hell are you doing?!"

"The drunk hiking excuse falls apart after any serious questioning," said Soma, activating the Black Panther Soul, which allowed him to run faster. "It's better that our names stay off the records. Besides, it's not like they got a good look at our faces in the dark."

"What about—"

"My friend can take care of himself," said Soma. "Remember how I said there was one person I couldn't keep up with? That was him."

This seemed to appease Kazuya. For what seemed like hours, there was nothing but the rush of wind, the smell of greenery, the taste of wet fog—

And then the ground turned to liquid.

X

With a second cast of Traport, Aoi popped into the waiting room. It looked almost exactly the same as it was an hour ago, except Agent Dragon was now reading a nature photography magazine and Mr. Adams was reading manga.

" **Good evening, Mr. Adams** ," she said in English.

"Good evening, Madam Pain," he said back in Japanese. "Doctor five minutes before finish Cowboy."

"Horrorshow," said Aoi, and she plopped herself onto a folding chair and picked a magazine at random. It turned out to be an Ayakashi Monthly, the magazine with a reporter who apparently looked a lot like Aoi. She began to read. Most of it was rubbish with a handful of pearls of wisdom, not unusual in a field with no fact checking capabilities. It was full of articles like DIY Exorcisms, 5 signs that your neighbor is possessed by a cat, The difference between Episcopalian and Pentecostal exorcisms, The one-headed Cerberus, the—

That last one piqued Aoi's interest.

Cerberus was a three-headed dog that guarded the Greek Underworld. Everyone knew that. Everyone except for Aoi. To her, Cerberus was a one-headed white-blue lion-dog with a snake for a tail, who loved belly rubs and was named Pascal. She'd been on the receiving end of too many condescending lectures on Greek mythology from people who couldn't tell the Cocytus from the Styx.

According to the article, Cerberus could have any number of heads, and was sometimes a raven demon… Nebiros? The necromancer?

And the writer's name was Jyoji Hijiri. Interesting.

A tiny bell on a string rang in the operating room, signaling the end of an operation. The doctor wheeled Agent Cowboy into the waiting room in a swivel chair. "Done. Do doctor magic now," said the doctor in halting Japanese.

This was the cue for Agent Dragon to cast her strange brand of healing magic on Agent Cowboy. His leg healed completely, but he did not respond.

" **He's still in shock** ," said the doctor in English. " **Be careful with him; I think he's still in the cleric cooldown**."

"Be careful," said Mr. Adams. "He will not work. He has… **cleric cooldown**."

"I can speak for myself, thank you very much," grumbled Agent Cowboy. "I'm in shock, and I have Rapid-Regen Syndrome. I'll be fine, but I can't put any weight on my left leg right now."

This was one of the many complications of healing magic, also called the Dia Bends. If the body recovered too quickly from a severe injury with magic, it did not immediately acknowledge that there was no longer any need to repair the body. It was rarely life-threatening, but it could put someone not used to healing magic out of commission for a while.

"We can take him from here," said Agent Lily. "All we—"

 _Vmmmm! Vmmm!_

"Go go Phoenix Rangers!"

"Baby we were born to ruunn…!"

A swell of music timed with rhythmic gunshots.

"Wo ai ni, ni ai wo, wo men shi ge kuai le jia…"

Five phones rang in unison.

"Huh," said Agent Lily, checking a text. "Looks like the others need backup."

"Finally!" said Agent Dragon, standing up. "Cowboy, you stay here."

Agent Cowboy gave a melodramatic, offended gasp, and said in a sarcastic tone, "No, don't leave me, I can still fight." He turned to Mr. Adams and said in English, " **I'm going to call a cab. Could you please help me get into it**?"

" **How are you going to get out**?" said Mr. Adams.

" **Worry not, there will be people to help me when I get there**."

"So you're good?" said Agent Reaper. When Agent Cowboy nodded, he and the other Agents left.

The doctor eyed Aoi. " **What is it this time, Madam**?"

" **I healed myself without my rib** ," said Aoi, holding it out.

The doctor sighed. " **Only you, Madam. Only you**."

The doors burst open, and three women and one man burst into the room, carrying a second man. "Mr. Ochre was shot!"

The doctor stood up and examined the body. " **Yes, he was definitely shot, all right. He looks saveable. Hey, Adams, could you give me a hand with this one? It's… ooh, hollow point bullet, someone's going to jail tonight**."

Aoi sighed. This was going to be a long night.

X

"Why did you just stand there?!" shouted Agent Tiger as Agent Wolf checked her for broken bones. "They were right there—two of them weren't even moving!"

"B—because…" Agent Peony said, shrinking. "I just couldn't shoot them!"

Agent Ninja sighed. "In our line of work, it's kill or be killed. Why can't you comprehend something as sim—"

"Agent Peony is right," said Agent Seal suddenly. "I mean, even though they attacked us, they weren't carrying any weapons."

"Ahem," said Agent Wolf.

"Nothing with a blade, and nothing even close to a firearm," said Agent Seal. "They weren't malicious, they weren't supernatural, they were just a bunch of drunk kids in the wrong place at the wrong time. That's not worth shooting anyone over. Besides, our star team is in pursuit."

There was another long pause as they tried to forget how easily the drunken foreigner had evaded their grasp. All four of them—minus Peony—had struck at once, from all directions, but he simply jumped, dipped, and tripped his way to freedom, bounding into the wilderness like they were as insubstantial as mist.

"What made you think they'd surrender, anyways?" Agent Ninja grumbled at Peony.

Agent Peony turned red. "I… I just thought everything could be resolved without violence… You know how much I hate violence."

Agent Tiger gestured at her injured arm, the bump on Agent Ninja's head, the scrapes on Agent Seal's face, and Agent Wolf's shattered glasses.

"I'm sorry I'm so useless…"

"Come on, guys!" said Agent Seal, clapping. "Don't sweat the past. We can still check out the crime scene!"

That cheered up the rest of the squad. While none of them enjoyed detective work, it meant they were Getting Stuff Done instead of moping around. After a while, they concluded from the footsteps that there were two people (or multiple people with the same two kinds of shoe, which was deemed unlikely but still possible), at least one of whom used lightning or fire magic (judging by the scorch marks on the other trees), and one of whom made that hole. Careful counting of the bullets and cartridges had shown that all the bullets had hit something in the clearing, but bounced off.

"So we've got a bulletproof person—or something that can fly or float," concluded Agent Peony. "Maybe they made up and flew away?"

"That's ridiculous," said Agent Tiger.

"Actually, that makes sense," said Agent Seal. "There aren't any tracks leading away from this spot, so after getting blood spilled everywhere, and—"

Agent Tiger cursed and stood up. "We did get blood samples, right?!"

The ground was practically mud at this point. What blood hadn't sunk into the ground had been rolled into someone's clothing (and still rendered useless by a thick layer of mud), or diluted with whatever that foreigner had in those jars.

"I—I…"

"What?!" snapped Agent Tiger.

"I already took them…" Agent Peony said in a small voice, holding up a few small vials.

X

Mina burst into the 24-hour doughnut shop, panting. "One chocolate doughnut with Bavarian cream filling and bacon on top, please," she said.

"Coming right up."

Mina dug change out of her bag, hands shaking. Of course there would be Agents; she already knew they were in town.

Her hands went to her phone, but she stopped in the middle of unlocking it. If they were holed up in the darkness somewhere, a call would give away their position instantly. The thought made her stomach turn with worry, but she would have to wait until tomorrow.

She sighed. _It's not like I can do anything about it—_

 _No. That kind of thinking leads to damselhood. Let's think positive._

 _Don't worry about what I can't control. Worry about what I can. The others can take care of themselves. Just focus on keeping yourself alive._

"Your doughnut."

"Thank you." Mina took two bites before she realized that she couldn't taste a thing, wrapped it in napkins, and put it in her purse. She was tired and wanted a hot bath and a soft bed, but she couldn't afford to make a mistake.

 _Think. How has the stupid party member messed up the chase?_

 _Led the chasers right where the others were hiding. In my case, right where I live._

 _So go somewhere with a lot of people, preferably away from campus. If I can't lose them in the crowd—_

 _Then they're probably using some esoteric magic trick that I won't be able to figure out from here. Don't worry about it, just find a busy spot._

 _What kind of a place is busy this late at night?_

 _If I'm being followed, wouldn't it be simpler to just mug me for my ID? They are the magic police, after all._

 _If it's that simple, there's probably no elaborate ruse to allow me to show them where I live. Still would be safest to lose them at the nearest busy spot…_

"Excuse me, but are there any bars open this late?" Mina asked the cashier.

The cashier gave her a Look, but pointed down the street. "Try the Inebriated Walrus, it's two blocks down, then take a left, down five blocks, and to your right."

Mina thanked him, and left.

Walking home alone at night with no superpowers is not a pleasant experience, but knowing there was someone after you just made it worse. The usual advice of keeping to places with lots of people her age didn't help in an empty part of town. Well lit streets were supposed to be safer, but she'd be spotted a mile off by anyone looking for her, so she ducked into as many alleyways as possible, scrambling as silently as she could through cardboard boxes and dumpst—

"Umph!"

Her leg caught something soft. What she thought was a bag of trash was a person, curled on their side.

"I'm so sorr—"

"It's all right," said the girl. "Spare some change, Mis—?"

Urgent footsteps rang from the street.

"Hide me!" Mina hissed, and the girl gestured towards a large, convenient cardboard box.

It shouldn't have worked, but Mina didn't have a choice. She crawled under it.

And then the girl sat on the box. She wasn't heavy, but Mina almost choked in surprise.

"Excuse me, but have you seen someone run past here?"

Mina stifled a choke. _Yoko?_

"Maybe I did," said the girl. "It'll cost you… say, 2,000 yen?"

There was a quiet rubbing noise accompanied by jingles, and then the girl said, "She went right down this way. What did she do, ro—?"

"Thank you," said Yoko, except the sound moved from in front of Mina to over her, and then to behind her, so it sounded like, "Thank yooouu." A series of metallic thuds and rustling garbage bags behind her signaled that Yoko was parkour-ing past her.

"Coast's clear," the girl whispered, easing off of the box. She was slight, wearing a middle school sailor uniform that was a size or two too big. "Sorry about crushing you, but you can never be too safe."

Mina breathed. "I can't thank you enough," she said, opening her purse—

"Don't worry about it; you've had a bad enough day already, being chased and all," said the girl, handing her back the case with her hama-yumi. "Besides, I already got money. Wouldn't say no if you have any candy in there, though."

"Er…" Mina reached into her bag for the doughnut, but stopped when she realized it was rude to offer half-eaten food.

"It's all right if you've taken a bite," said the girl, as if reading her mind. "It's better than the dumpster."

Mina gave her the doughnut. "Do you like chocolate?" said Mina, pressing a handful of cheap assorted chocolate into the girl's bony hands.

The girl's face lit up. "Thanks! You're one of those college girls, aren't you?"

Mina opened her mouth, but realized it might not be safe to say.

"Don't have to say nothing if you don't want to, but if you were one, there's a bus stop with a map right that way," said the girl. "Takes you to the center of the city. You can shake them off in one of those clubs or somewhere with a lot of college kids." She stood up. "Come on, I'll take you."

The girl took Mina by the hand, and together they traversed the winding streets and alleyways, before stopping in front of another alleyway mouth. Mina tried to join the other people waiting at the bus stop, but the girl dragged her back.

"Go when the bus stops, or else they'll see you faster, if they're still out there," the girl hissed.

The bus took an agonizingly long time to arrive. Under normal circumstances, the cold January air and the stench of damp garbage would have been the most of her worries, but it was eclipsed by fear.

Yoko was a professional mercenary. Mina hadn't even taken down a single monster with her bow. Yoko fought and investigated for a living. Mina only trained in her free time. Yoko had braved Castlevania. Mina cowered in the entrance.

If anything hurt more than fear, it was shame. By running, Mina was betraying her trust. Yoko had risked her job, and her client's trust, to tell her that she was in the area, precisely so that they wouldn't panic and do anything stupid. And what had they done? They'd attacked the Agency and ran, and hid from the one person who tried to help them.

The bus arrived. Mina stood up, but the girl stayed behind.

"Aren't you coming?"

The girl shook her head. "Nah. The boss'll kill me I ran. Besides, you're the one in hot water as is. Now go!"

Mina boarded the bus, but not before giving a passing glance at the homeless girl. The girl flashed her a grin was she waved goodbye.

X

Naoki was alone when he arrived at the dorm. This was good for him, because he could change Magatama without anyone noticing.

 _Let's see… other than Masakados, there's nothing good against both ice and electricity…_

 _How about I change to Misama? It's not like I have to be immune to electricity, I just can't be weak to it._

 _Yeah, but then I can't stand the heat._

 _So? I can just take cold showers._

 _Yeah, but the dorm gets warm, too, and Soma and Kazuya can't take the cold like I can._

 _Does that really matter? I can just take a lightning immunity and wear more clothes._

 _Or I can just change to Adama when we meet up, and change back to Wadatsumi when I return._

 _We go to the same school. We're bound to run into each other at some point._

 _Does it really matter? We're allies now. I shouldn't have to worry if she'll zap me again._

 _What if it's an elaborate ruse to—_

 _No, she could have attacked me down any time._

 _No, she couldn't have. She knows I can kill her._

 _But I'm not bulletproof. She could—_

 _Shoot me ten thousand times? From where? Without anyone noticing?_

 _Come to think of it, it didn't just hurt, she stunned me. I'll take a lightning immunity just to be safe._

In the end, Naoki changed to Adama (which nullified electricity and was only a problem on windy days), and resolved to wear more clothes from then on. He took a hot shower, brushed his teeth, and plopped into bed.

 _Come to think of it, why aren't Soma and Kazuya back yet?_

 _Probably partying. What kind of people go out and party on a weeknight?_

 _No, I'd say the same thing if they went out on a weekend._

 _Am I jealous that they're having fun?_

 _Probably._

 _Am I not having enough fun?_

 _Maybe?_

 _Should I ask Aoi out?_

 _Wait, what?_

 _This is like the start of a romance in an action movie. The hero and the heroine always get together in the end._

 _Yeah, but this isn't a movie._

 _Remember when the world turned inside out?_

 _That's different. That isn't a popular movie tr—_

 _Crap, I didn't do my physics homework!_

Naoki sat up, stock still.

… _Oh yeah, I did it before I left._

… _I still want to know what kind of fun Soma and Kazuya are up to._

X

To explain how Agents Dragon, Lily, and Reaper found Soma and Kazuya so quickly, one must understand something called Resonance. Resonance is a little known perk of being a Persona user; basically, Persona users can sense when someone else uses their Persona. The range of this ability is short enough to have not alerted up the Agents every time Soma made curry for a midnight snack, but not so short that they couldn't just squint to see if someone had a glowing avatar behind them. [3]

While Soma is not a Persona user, he uses the power of his soul. Well, other peoples' souls. Which is close enough; he technically qualifies as a Wild Card. He cannot sense Resonance, but his power is close enough to send a weird tingle down the spine of passing Persona users. With a good sense of direction and a steady, receptive mind, it was possible to extrapolate the target's general path and set up a wall of ambushes.

It is also important to note that passive abilities do not set off Resonance (even if they were something as obviously magical as walking on water or jumping in midair), or else Soma would have been caught ages ago.

Now back to your irregularly scheduled fanfiction.

X

Agent Dragon and Agent Reaper were earth and water elemental Persona users, respectively. As hard as they bickered, they were platonic childhood friends and comrades in arms. They had come up with this quicksand trap ages ago, as one of the many nonlethal techniques used to incapacitate the Masked Circle.

The fleeing suspect turned out to be two people, one carrying the other. An arm computer dangled from the left arm of the person being carried. All three Agents took note of this COMP, but not enough for them to ignore their job.

The three Agents advanced on the trapped duo. "We got you now, cul—"

The carrier spun his companion onto into a Fireman's carry. His left arm free, he shot a jet of orange flame towards the ground, rocketing them both into the air, his charge shouting something incoherent in a tone reserved for cursing.

"Give me a boost," said Agent Lily. Agents Dragon and Reaper knelt down, picked up a leg each, and flung Agent Lily skyward. "Chronos!"

The winged god of time and harvest caught Agent Lily in midair, and blasted a gust of wind at the falling duo, guiding them into the next quicksand trap—

And then a bunch of things happened at once. This was not an exaggeration, because it all occurred in a single moment of frozen time.

If there was an order to any of this, for the sake of grammar, time stopped. Agent Dragon froze, Agent Reaper froze, even the fallen leaves strewn up by the sudden gale froze. The only ones who did not freeze were Agent Lily and the carrier suspect. Their eyes met.

Agent Lily threw one of his sharpened daffodils at the suspect, who dodged by blasting another jet of fire, landing in the sea of trees. Agent Lily dove to pursue, flinging daffodil after daffodil, but it was too late. The carrier had vanished into the darkness.

Time resumed.

Agent Dragon and Agent Reaper, who had the culprits in their sights and ready to launch water-boosted rocks, looked around, confused. "What the hell was that?!"

Agent Lily floated down to the ground before releasing Chronos. "He stopped time," said Agent Lily flatly.

"Stopping time and fire, eh?" said Agent Reaper. "Sounds like T—"

"No, the build was wrong," said Agent Lily, rubbing his temples. "Too wiry."

Agent Reaper backed off. "Sheesh, it's just a comparison."

A tingle of Resonance ran down the spines of the three Agents. As one, they sprinted towards it.

However, they ran into a few problems. First, while they knew where the targets were, getting from Point A to Point B was a lot more difficult. Namely, all the rocks and trees in the way. The swift Agent Dragon could sense the shape of the earth and stone from her earth-elemental Persona Venus, but not the trees. Agent Reaper could see in the dark from his water and dark-elemental Persona Hades, but wasn't agile enough to run down a steep goat trail. And while the agile Agent Lily could avoid all other obstacles by flying with Chronos, keeping his Persona out for too long was exhausting.

By the time they reached the parking lot at the foot of the mountain, the suspects were nowhere in sight, and the Resonance was gone.

"That was no ordinary Persona user," said Agent Lily grimly.

Agent Dragon looked around. "Do you think he felt more like the Reverse Persona users, or our Shadows?"

Agent Lily shook his head. "Neither. Those were twisted, but they still felt like Personas. His was still wrong, but it felt more like something cobbled in the… shape of a Persona."

"How do we know it's even a Persona user we're looking at?" said Reaper.

"How could we feel Resonance, if he wasn't a Persona user?" retorted Dragon.

There was a pause.

One other detail lingered in the minds of the three Agents: the COMP. All three of them had seen something similar in the past. In fact, it resembled a device owned by an ally, a device used for summoning demons, owned by a certain Tamaki Uchida.

In one universe, this detail would have gone completely unnoticed.

In another universe, Tamaki had never summoned demons in front of them using that device, leading them to believe that it was just fancy wrist armor.

And in yet another universe, Tamaki had successfully negotiated for her teacher's laptop.

In this one, however, all three of them recognized the device as something similar to Tamaki's computer.

Reaper saw the device, and thought, _Hey, it's been a while since we saw Tamaki. I wonder how she's doing?_

Dragon saw the device, and thought, _Cr—I mean, Aiyah, I forgot about Tamaki! She has to know that demon summoning is illegal!_

Lily saw the device, and thought, _That computer looks a lot like the one Tamaki uses to summon demons. I thought those had gone out of style ages ago._

Fortunately for the suspect, while they all knew that it was the same kind of COMP that Tamaki used to summon demons, and they heavily associated wearable tech with demon summoning, they also knew that computers could be used for more than just summoning demons. In fact, all three of them were wondering why anyone would mount a keyboard on their arm, if it meant that they could only type with one hand.

"Let's split up," said Agent Lily. "They couldn't have gone far."

None of them noticed the storefront for the antique furniture store, or the reflections of two teenage boys.

X

To Julius Belmont, exploring mountains and wilderness was just like taking a stroll in his own backyard. Well, the Belmont family hideout/manor #2 was hidden deep in the mountains of Romania and his backyard did in fact stretch into a thick forest, and Julius had scarce memories of getting lost on boyhood romps through those backyard woods with his cousins, but regardless of how overgrown his backyard was, Julius was good at mountain survival.

He was also good at hiding from the police. In fact, he was hidden safely in a tree lining the path up to the power plant, comfortably listening to every word the Agents said.

"…team, you said," said a voice that was distinctly Yoko's. "Adding you to our lineup would just screw up our teamwork, you said."

"L—look, I'm not saying that you're bad, it's just—" said a blustering male voice.

"And you couldn't catch someone carrying someone else?" Yoko retorted.

"…I don't see you with a prisoner," said a cold male voice.

"Yes, because I didn't have any backup!" snapped Yoko.

"And look who it is, our star Agents," said Agent Tiger smugly. "Back with our invisible prisoners?"

"Now, now, even the best of us make mistakes," said Agent Seal soothingly. "What have you learned about our escapees?"

"One can stop time and use fire magic," said the cold Agent. "We didn't get a read on the other, but we think they like older technology."

Julius's blood turned cold. He could imagine Yoko's throat clenching at the news.

"One was blonde, and the other was…" the brash Agent paused. "His hair wasn't light and it wasn't dark."

"What color?" asked Agent Peony.

"No color in dark vision," said the brash Agent. "You know how when you go to the paint store, there's dark blue, light blue, and blue? His hair was blue. But, you know, I don't know if it was _blue_ , or if it was just brown."

"Which gets us absolutely nowhere," said Agent Tiger, sighing dramatically. "Want to hear what we found out?"

"Yes, of course," said Yoko tersely. Julius knew that tone of voice.

Julius only made phone contacts for other members of the Belmont family, because there were so many scattered around the world that it was impossible to keep track of them all. Everyone else went into a small journal he kept on him at all times, from Yoko's cell to the takeout number for that great German Korean place (that sold Korean food in Germany).

There were only three numbers he committed to memory (not counting emergency numbers, numbers he didn't mean to memorize, and his own number): Alucard's, Soma's, and the one for his contact in the Portuguese Mafia. By eschewing caller ID, Julius disguised those three numbers in a sea of random numbers, if his phone were ever stolen and unlocked. Julius had wondered if it would be more suspicious to find three numbers that weren't in the journal or three numbers in the journal with no context, but decided that it didn't matter, because the former would be harder to discover than the latter.

It was too dark to read this journal, so Julius only texted Soma.

'Yoko knows you were there last night. Tell everyone else who was there. We need to make a plan.'

After a pause, he added, 'That is to say, Yoko knows that Soma was there, but not anyone else specifically'.

Then he sat and listened to what the Agents gleaned from the crime scene.

X

As a demon summoner, Kazuya did not like losing control of the situation. Well, nobody likes that, but especially not someone whose life depended on being in control.

Now that they were out of immediate danger, he could see that Soma was right. Kazuya was another face in the crowd, in a city with competent law enforcement. If only the former or (or xor, haha) latter were true, then it would have been fine; back when he was another wanderer in a lawless land, he could skip town without a care, and back when he was a famous former revolutionary in Tokyo Millennium, no one was brave enough to try to take him in (but eventually someone was brave enough to take him out).

His rational mind told him that Soma absolutely was in the right by stopping him from screwing up and being arrested. It still bothered him, having someone else make decisions for him.

Soma laid Kazuya out on a soft surface, more like a couch than a bed. "We're safe here," he said, not even breathing heavily.

Kazuya blinked as his eyes adjusted to the light. "Where the hell did you privodeet me to now?" he said in a weak voice. The alcohol was bad enough without the motion sickness.

'Here' was superficially a large room that oozed the implication of dusty brown. Nothing in it was that shade of brown; the walls were a creamy off-white, golden mirrors adorned all four walls, and everything was illuminated with stark, industrial light from the streetlamps outside. What gave the impression of sheer dust was the furniture. Hardwood chairs and tables and velvet cushioned ottomans and sofas alone did not make a room look this dreary; it was the cramped arrangement of pseudo-parlors and attempted cheer with baubles and fake flower vases.

'Here' would have been more useful not in the context of what 'here' looked like, but with the words 'how we got' appended to the front. The last clear(ish) thing Kazuya saw was that cop's face before Soma yanked him away. After that, it was just darkness and a few lines of light, then blindingly bright industrial light, and now brown. And for some reason, Soma had yellow flowers stuck all over his sweater.

Soma seemed to understand his drunk mutterings, because he said, "We're in a parallel world called the Mirror World. I can use it with my metal powers because metal is shiny, but I can enter it from any reflective surface. This was just the closest entrance." He tugged at one of the yellow flowers, and winced.

"What's with all the stoolies?" demanded Kazuya. "Are we in a shop?"

"…We're in a furniture store because we were out on the street and came in through a window," said Soma uncertainly. "If I try to enter using a transparent surface like glass or water, and there's space, I come out on the other side. I'm not sure why." He opened the door, which jingled. "As far as I know, there's no one else here. Well, there are mirror—I mean, I know mirror monsters exist, but I've never encountered one here."

"And you're sure the bruiseboys can't viddy us while we're in here?" asked Kazuya. His sense of danger was as finely tuned as a microscope aimed at an atom. As anyone who has ever handled sensitive lab equipment will tell you, a finely tuned microscope is notoriously hard to recalibrate after a stiff breeze.

"As long as we stay away from mirrors and windows, we're fine," said Soma. "Or if there's a lot of people. I use it all the time." He chuckled. "I haven't had to pay for a train ticket for ages, and the baths are never crowded for me. You can even take back some of the stuff you find here, but keep in mind that they don't show up in mirrors. The safest thing is food, and even then I think you end up with invisible waste. Haven't checked, though."

"Like… vampire pischa?"

Soma flinched.

"No… vampire food?" Kazuya groaned. The last time he felt this sick, he'd been camping out near what turned out to be an irradiated lake.

Soma's shoulders unclenched. "Never mind, I get it. Yeah, I guess you could say that it's howthehelldidyougetinhere?"

This was directed at a rather ugly velvet ottoman.

Soma held up a hand, and said, "Wait, I can't hear you. Let me try something…"

Kazuya stared and said nothing. He began to drool on the ugly floral print.

"… **Wait, what**?" For some reason, this was said in English.

Pause.

"If you definitively assert that the level of your comprehension is adequate, we shall converse in the tongue that I am using to communicate with thee," said Soma in Japanese.

Silence.

" **If you couldn't understand that, then don't trouble yourself on my account** ," said Soma, switching to English again.

An inexplicable, and yet pleasant, absence of noise.

" **You're welcome, now who are you and why are you here**?"

Then Soma said something in a language that Kazuya didn't even recognize. This was no mean feat, considering that he was a demon summoner who had to pronounce every demon's name correctly. It sounded vaguely Germanic, but it wasn't German.

Soma took a step back, eyes wide, and said something else.

This went on for a little while before Soma held up a palm, and turned towards Kazuya. "Je sai—" he stopped, and switched to Japanese. "I know it looks wei—"

"Dook," said Kazuya simply.

"Dook?" repeated Soma.

"Ghost."

Soma blinked. "You can see him?"

"No."

Most ghosts were visible to pretty much everyone, but there were a handful that Kazuya just wasn't psychic enough to see [4]. Demons were, though, along with Gaian monks, Messian exorcists, and randomly gifted people. Cerberus was especially good at sniffing out spirits. Kazuya's 'belief' in these ghosts was well known, resulting in more than a few scams; one common technique was stopping in the middle of a conversation and pointing out a ghost, just like Soma had (although one person turned out to not be a conman at all, just schizophrenic). Still, enough of those people were genuine that Kazuya could not always write it off as a scam, and Kazuya did not think he had anything that Soma would want enough to con him for (maybe the COMP and the Demon Summoning Program, but that was password-protected and he doubted that Soma could guess the names of his eight biological children in order of birth month).

Turning this into coherent words, however, was currently beyond him. "I'll give you the four one one later. I'm sure you and your choodessny droog are having a lovely chat, but I'm right fashed and in need of a cheest, and I'm sure you are, too."

Soma nodded, a tad uncertainly, and turned towards the ottoman. " **You're not bound to anything, right? It's late, and my friend needs help. Could this wait until tomorrow? Wait for us on the roof, okay**?"

The ghost seemed to accept, because Soma turned towards Kazuya and said, "We're the only ones in the Mirror World, so we won't get caught as long as we avoid mirrors and windows, but that also means there's no buses. If you don't want to be seen, we can find a good route and walk back, or we can return to the normal world and—"

Kazuya typed in his password without even looking. Pascal appeared, and licked his face. It smelled like sulphur.

"…I'll spot you the fare."

X

The doctor's office had blankets and pillows for a reason. Mr. Addams had a mattress behind the desk for these late nights, and they always had a few gurneys to spare for patients (they were good about cleaning out the bloodstains).

Mr. Ochre was stable and probably going to live, and was sleeping off the anesthesia in the spare room. His associates had bailed the moment they realized that threatening someone who was busy trying to save their comrade's life was counterproductive, especially since the doctor only knew the Japanese words for 'cut' and 'kill', rendering the rest of their normally intimidating vocabulary useless. Sarcasm, dramatic irony, and metaphors were lost on someone who still had to read the Japanese version of Dick and Jane out loud.

The doctor strolled into the waiting room. He looked at the sleeping form of Mr. Addams, and sighed. "Madam Pain?"

Madam Pain did not stir.

"Madam Pain?"

" **Owie**?"

Madam Pain's eyes opened. She sat up and rubbed them, muttering something in Japanese.

" **We're ready for you in the exam room**."

" **Aren't you going to put me under and send me to the bleedin' Sandman anyways**?" grumbled Aoi.

" **If you like sleeping so much, then you'll love going back to sleep** ," retorted the doctor.

" **Really, Doctor Dude**?"

" **Of course not** ," said Doctor Dude. " **I didn't want you to wake up from the pain and shank me again**."

" **Shock**?"

" **Shank: stabbing with an improvised weapon**." Doctor Dude sighed. " **It would have been fine if it was a scalpel, but the tissue forceps? Really** _?_ "

" **I don't remember, but** —"

" **Don't apologize** ," said Doctor Dude sharply. " **It's not your fault if you weren't awake for it. Now, which rib** _?_ "

X

The bus had in fact gone straight to campus, but Mina got off a few stops early and spent a few minutes at the library (which was full of students), before jumping out the ground floor window. Then she went into one of the halls that had an underground tunnel to a hall that was closer to her dorm, where she took a quick shower and then dove into bed.

Phone in hand, Mina wondered if it was more stupid to message Soma to tell him that she was all right (potentially giving away his position if he was hiding) or to not message him (which might cause a tragic series of miscommunications leading to someone dying). Mina concluded that while the latter scenario was less likely, Soma and Kazuya together would have probably escaped faster than she could, so they were probably fine. She sent Soma the message (and asked for Kazuya's contact information, just in case).

Yoko and the Agents wrapped up their investigation for the night, handing off their intel to the day shift. Yoko could not sleep.

Julius had slunk away from the Agents with relative ease, and climbed into his hotel room through the window. Some well-meaning busybody had called the police on him, so he had to groggily answer the door and prove that nothing was stolen.

After Cerberus told Kazuya that there was indeed a ghost, Soma, Kazuya, and the ghost rode him back to the dorm, jumping from rooftop to rooftop to avoid street-level windows. Soma would have preferred Marchioness Marchosias, but Cerberus explained that Kazuya didn't trust anyone but him to obey him while drunk.

Upon arrival, Soma persuaded Kazuya to return Cerberus, and placed him in bed in a position where he wasn't likely to choke on his own vomit, before going off to heal his wounds. He wasn't sure why that cop threw flowers at him or how they were hard and sharp enough to pierce flesh, but at least the entry wounds were clearly marked (although he had to use the Ghost soul to temporarily leave his body so he could find all the ones on his back). After washing the blood out of his sweater, he was a chair away from healing thanks to the Ouija Table, which healed him when sitting on chairs, and then a bath.

Then he realized that they were still in the Mirror World, so he picked Kazuya up, carried him to the bathroom, returned to the real world, and put him back into bed. Kazuya just snored and gurgled vaguely. Around that time, he got the text from Mina, who was fine, and he texted her back saying that they were fine, along with Kazuya's number.

Aoi had a successful surgery, and stayed the night at Doctor Dude and Mr. Adam's office.

Dawn came, and vanquished the night.

Mina woke up well rested despite the previous night's worries. This good mood lasted all of five minutes, when she read the headline news. She sent the news to Soma, and asked when they should meet up.

The Agents and Yoko had a lie-in and a late breakfast, due to their night shift. They ate eggs and sausages for breakfast, and drank coffee while doing paperwork.

Julius slept in late as well, because the police had woken him up. Besides, sleeping in safety was a luxury greater than anything else the hotel offered, from its central heating to its complementary swimming pool.

Aoi woke up in the doctor's office, and found Doctor Dude eating bagels and tea. He gave her some for the road.

The murderer and the accomplice went out to watch the sun rise, and then got cat food from the convenience store. They spent some time there looking for a new brand, because Selina didn't like the cheaper kind.

Soma was a night owl, so Kazuya had to shake him awake.

" **Stanley, get off of my foot** —"

"Wake up, Soma."

Even with Soma's blurry vision, Kazuya looked terrible. There were dark circles underneath his eyes, he reeked of sweat and alcohol, and his shaking hand was clenched tightly around Soma's bedpost in a manner that suggested that a tiny, localized earthquake was erupting underneath him. There was vomit on the floor in the spot where one of the shared trash cans used to be.

"I wanted to apologize about last night," said Kazuya, trying to rub one of his eyes but somehow missing it and pushing on his eyebrow. "Attacking those people was stupid, reckless, and completely unnecessary, and it put us all in danger."

Soma just blinked. "Don't worry about it," he said automatically.

"No, if it wasn't for me—"

"Kazuya, it's fine," said Soma, this time will full sincerity. If he didn't believe this, he couldn't go on living. "If you weren't in your right mind, I can't blame you for anything."

Kazuya shook his head. "Blame is shirking responsibility. An apology is a promise to accept it."

"In that case, I'm also sorry, because we all went together and you don't need to shoulder the responsibility alone," said Soma. He turned to look at his alarm clock. 7:12 am. "Now can we go back to sleep? You could have told me at lunch or after class."

"I know that," said Kazuya. "The apology could have waited. This can't." He swiveled his computer around to show Soma. Soma squinted as he tried to read the dim screen, but his vision sharpened quickly enough. It was a local news site.

 **Headless Corpse Found on Mountainside!**

The only words Soma could say were, "…So, if the apology could wait, why didn't you show me this first?"

"What do you think it would look like if I showed you the graz I was in and then begged for your forgiveness?"

"…True."

Soma took out his phone. Mina had sent him the same headline, along with a request to text her as soon as he got the message, so he assured her that he and Kazuya were all right, and moved on to Julius's message.

If the headline news was a punch to the gut, Julius's text was a kick in the balls. Soma let out a strangled yelp. "Yoko knows I was there last night."

Kazuya just stared at him with bleary, pursed eyes. "…Who?"

Soma stared. "Yoko Belnades? Elemental witch merce—wait, I never told you her name." He paused to collect his thoughts. "She's the one who was chasing the one who was evil in the castle."

"And that's bad?"

"That's terrible!" Soma shuddered.

Kazuya winced at Soma's shout. "Is she stronger than you?" Kazuya's hand was already at his COMP.

Soma looked as if he were about to strangle Kazuya. "That's not the problem. She's my friend."

Kazuya stiffened. "Do you think she'll let you off?"

"No way. She's working for the Agency right now. Even if she lets us off, they won't."

Kazuya nodded grimly. "You didn't cut off anyone's head, did you?"

"Of course not!"

"Then we find the real culprit, turn them in, and get the millicents off our back," said Kazuya curtly. "She's happy, we're happy, and no one has to know we were ever there."

"Would you tell her if you were the one whose head was on the chopping block?" snapped Soma.

" _If it means having a chance to explain myself, yes_!"

There was a long pause. Kazuya shut his eyes tight, as if regretting this outburst. Not for the first time, Soma wondered what Kazuya didn't tell him.

"…All right, I'll do it," said Soma. If he forced the story out now, he'd lose Kazuya's trust forever. Besides, it wasn't like Soma was completely up front with his situation, either. "But we still need to get our story straight. How did we get there, why were we there, what were we drinking, what was the name of the—"

"Why?" asked Kazuya.

"Because they'll be suspicious if our stories don't match up," said Soma. "Haven't you heard that story about the professor who asked 'Which tire'?"

Kazuya stared blankly.

"…Some students missed an exam because they were up late partying, and the next morning gave the excuse that their tire was flat, so the professor said they could retake a special version of the exam, but it just said, 'Which tire'?"

"Did that really happen?"

"Of course not! It's an urban legend!"

"We were camp—"

"No tent."

"Hiking?"

"At night?"

"We were drunk?"

"How did we get halfway up a mountain without tripping once?"

"…I got nothing."

Soma sighed. "And that's why we should all…" He froze. "…Wait, are you sure that Naoki is sleeping?"

"Too late," said Naoki, pulling off the covers and crossing his arms. "So, where were you two last night?"

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Holy Water doesn't set things on fire: There is a theory that the Holy Water only burns when it comes into contact with someone unholy, such as the floor of Castlevania.

[2] No formerly human Fiends: In this story, the Demi-Fiend met Raidou during _Nocturne_ , not Dante. Unlike Dante, Raidou's race was not listed as Fiend, so Naoki has only met the skeletal Fiends.

[3] Persona Resonance: No, I did not make this up. It's something I read from outside sources rather than from the game itself; it's supposed to be the bad feeling the characters get before encountering a boss. Whenever someone says that their Persona is scared, that's Resonance.

[4] Ghost vision: while ghosts are common enemies in both SMT and Castlevania, there are a few that can't be seen by normal people. The hospital ghosts in _Nocturne_ are presumably there from before the Conception, but the Demi-Fiend can't see them until he's a demon. Navarre as a ghost in _Apocalypse_ is initially invisible to most people, the only exceptions being the undead Nanashi, the fairy queen Nozomi, the half-demon Hallelujah, the spiritually attuned Toki… pretty much half the party. In his spirit cameo on Lake Mikado, Issachar is invisible to even those characters, only appearing as a voice. Those two highly spoilerific ghosts in _Digital Devil Saga_ only appear to Serph while he's semiconscious and having a vision, despite Serph being part demon at that point.

Even though Kazuya says that he can only see ghosts that don't require spiritual awareness, there's still that scene where the Law Hero's ghost tells the Hero to shut down the robots. My handwave is either that the Law Hero is a ghost that doesn't require spiritual awareness, or he isn't, but he can allow people to see him.

A history teacher once told me that a longbow is basically a bent quarterstaff and can be used as one (this was in the context of English longbows in the Hundred Years War). While I'm sure that hitting someone with a bamboo yumi wouldn't break it, I figured it wouldn't be in shooting condition afterwards (and even if it would be fine, Mina might not know that), so I compromised and made the wooden case the weapon.

The Agents, sans the Persona cast and their boss Agent Fireball, are basically in their 'Season 1' stage. They're extraordinary rookies who impress their mentors with their skill and strategies, but they're still rookies. They take hours to defeat what a seasoned squad of Agents could kill in minutes. Unless they have the advantages of number, intel, and planning time, they'll lose against pretty much any endgame protagonist. This also has a bit of snobbery in place; no one wants to see the Demi-Fiend taken down by random mooks, especially not OCs.

That's not to say that they're weak; in Season 1, Goku broke bricks with a single finger, team RWBY takes down everything from a room full of gangsters to a giant raven demon, and the Straw Hat Pirates decimated the largest fleet in East Blue. The rookies haven't had a single casualty from the giant mecha, the flying robot shark, the werewolf, etc.

Technically, the term 'endgame protagonist' does not refer to an exclusive club of characters at or above a certain power level. It refers to the current state of the character. Yoko isn't an endgame protagonist because Julius Mode never took place, but she's not someone endgame protagonists like Kazuya can take lightly. It's still a convenient shorthand for 'powerful character'; pretty much all endgame protagonists are strong, but not all strong characters are endgame protagonists.

Soma outran Eikichi, Jun, and Lisa for a few more reasons than I gave. _Castlevania_ requires platforming, but _Persona 2_ does not. As Mina guessed in the last chapter, Soma is strong enough to carry someone of her weight without difficulty, and Kazuya is not much heavier than her (compared to a boulder).

If I wanted him to get caught, I would have gone with the excuse that he got sick of platforming and just flew everywhere in bat form instead.

OMAKE #1: Too easy

"So you can talk to ghosts?" said Kazuya.

"Yes," said Soma.

"And ghosts are self-aware, retain memories, and usually spawn from people who died violent deaths?"

"Yes."

"And we can assume that the kidnappers are actually murderers who are very good at corpse disposal?"

"I guess so?"

"And you are acquaintanced with another ghost who was a hero in life?"

"Yes."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

A reasonable amount of time later…

"All right, that plan's a bust," said Soma. "My ghost friend looked everywhere, and he hadn't found a single victim."

Kazuya shrugged. "I guess they really are just kidnappers, then."

Meanwhile…

"The ghosts of your victims have been sent to their eternal reward," said the exorcist who specialized in this sort of thing. "That will be 200,000 yen."

The accomplice handed the exorcist a small paper bag smelling of takeout. "Pleasure doing business with you."

"No, no, the pleasure is mine," said the shady exorcist. His eyes widened as he took a step back. "Curses! I missed one!"

The accomplice glared at him, arms crossed. "There's nothing there."

"No, really! It's the spirit of a… a… college boy, with spiky hair and ridiculously long sideburns and—"

" _Cut the crap right now, or I will eviscerate you and turn your small intestine into a handbag_."

The shady exorcist fell silent.

"Seriously. I am a serial killer. What part of any of this made you think that extortion was a good idea?"

"I thought you were only the accomplice."

" _I have bad days too!_ "

Omake #2: 'Master' is so cliché

"What do your demons call you?" asked Maya Amano the journalist, a pad and pencil at the ready.

"Anything they want," said Soma. "I've stolen their freedom, so letting them have that is the least they can do. Unless they're swearing at me."

"I ask them to call me Sir, but Boss and Master are acceptable," said Kazuya. "If they just called me anything, they wouldn't acknowledge my authority. And if they don't acknowledge my authority, how could I command them? I do make an exception for Pascal, of course."

(I put this here because he doesn't have the context and he'd never admit it: Kazuya is stricter than later characters with his demons because as one of the first summoners in his timeline (as far as he knows), he has less faith in the efficacy of the Demon Summoning Program. Unlike most protagonists, he doesn't have a generation of predecessors who successfully proved that demons can be tamed; he _is_ one of the predecessors. He made all the mistakes, pushed all the buttons, and did everything the book tells you not to do because he wrote the book from experience).

"My name," said Aleph. "Why would they call me anything else?"

"You didn't forget about me, did you?" said Tamaki Uchida. "It was always some variant of Uchida, unless we were really close. It is a professional relationship, after all."

"Aniki, Boss, Bro, Chief, just Naoki, stuff like that," said Naoki. "I don't really have contracts with them, so I'm really just their toughest guy who tells them what to do. We're kind of casual, though. Boss is the best word for what I am."

"Just Flynn," said Flynn. "I grew up as a Casualry and a peasant. Only elders, healers, and teachers receive honorifics, and I do not think I am worthy of those titles."

"I prefer Miss Isabeau, or Isabeau-san, but just Isabeau is fine," said Isabeau. "Anyone who calls me Lady or Madam sounds like a sycophant."

"Sir is the proper term for a Samurai, so I am Sir Jonathan," said the Jonathan whose last name was not Morris (and might not even have had a last name).

"Aniki and Boss," said Walter. "It feels good being in charge of something for once."

"I have insisted on being called Lord Navarre, and yet not a single one of my lackeys has used it," Narvarre sighed dramatically.

"…Do you need to ask?" said Sir Gaston the Magnificent.

"All demons employed by members of the Hunters' Association are required to use the Hunter's registered name while in combat," said Nanashi. "If they didn't, we'd have a dozen demons all screaming 'Master' and 'Boss' and whatever in the middle of a firefight, and no one can tell who said what and whose demon it was. I saw that happen a few times to the Ashura-Kai and the Samurai. I don't know enough Gaeans with demons to know how they handle it, though."

"That's why all Hunter names are unique," said Asahi. "Unless it's your real name. You can still use your real name even if you have a different Hunter name, but you're not supposed to work with anyone with the same name as you unless it's an emergency. People started giving their kids unique names a couple years after I was born so they wouldn't run into that problem."

"You can still shorten your real or Hunter name, as long as it's longer than one syllable," said Nozomi. "While it's not forbidden to have them call you something else when you're off the clock, it's frowned upon. Honorifics are strictly prohibited."

"Unless you're former CDF," said Akira from Blasted Tokyo. "There weren't enough of us for it to be a problem back then, and it got grandfather claused in for us. My demons called me Akira-san. Only one person could use a given prefix honorific at a time, though; Kenji got to be called King after winning an arm-wrestling tournament with half the men, and I had to step in when Kiyoharu and Hiroshi's prank war over who got to be called Don became a sanitary concern. The title of Marchioness was retired after the discovery of the demon Marchosias."

"Same with me, until I founded Mikado," said Akira who founded the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado, aka King Aquila. "My samurai could make their demons call them whatever they wanted, since there weren't enough of us for there to be a problem. My full title was King Aquila of Mikado, Lord of Shinjuku, Protector of the Peace of Pie, Conqueror of—"

"We'll be here for a while," said Akira from Infernal Tokyo. "I can't summon anymore, but now I'm just Akira to my Demonoid subordinates."

"Do I count?" said Hallelujah. "Because Chiro is my only demon, and he just chirps and I understand him. I… guess I'm—" (Halleujah made his best impression of a fox's chirp) "to him, and it is a unique combination that refers to me, but it doesn't sound like my name."

OMAKE #3: This also explains King Aquila's legendary feats

"Hey, Isabeau?" said Hallelujah. "Mikado is nice and all, but why is it… Western?"

"I do not understand the question," said Isabeau. "This is the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado."

"No, like, the buildings and clothes and your names and stuff are what we here in Tokyo call Western style," said Hallelujah. "I mean, aren't your ancestors from Tokyo?"

"I was wondering that, too," said Nanashi. "I get that you don't use Japanese style clothes and buildings; your ancestors didn't take any books with them, and it's not like everyone knows how to design a shrine or kimono. But if your ancestors couldn't make Japanese clothes and buildings, how did they know how to make Western clothes and buildings? I thought you'd make your own styles."

"Yeah, and why do you use the English alphabet?" said Asahi.

"Roman," said Nanashi.

"Whatever it's called," said Asahi. "Everyone knows how to read and write, so why bother switching to Romaji?"

"That is curious," said Isabeau. "We call your language the Mystic Script, and only a few of us can read it. The shift was probably deliberate."

"What I want to know is how we can still understand each other," said Nozomi. "My aunt once said that five hundred years ago, people spoke almost a completely different language from today. You've been up here for over around times that long."

"And what's with your names?" said Hallelujah.

"Your name means 'Praise Allah' in Hebrew," said Toki.

"My mom really liked Leonard Cohen, okay?" lied Hallelujah. "Besides, I've never met anyone else with the same name as me." He paused. "Actually, that's my point. Even in Tokyo, you get weird names like mine or Nanashi's; the only one I found in Mikado that even sounds Japanese was the dead king's name, Ahazuya. Are Japanese names illegal or something? And where did you get several thousand genuine Western names?"

"And you know the names of everyone in the country?" asked Navarre, ghostly eyebrow raised.

"I skimmed the pay ledgers back in the chapel," said Hallelujah. "It's just monks, Samurai, and castle staff, but that's a good cross-section. A Samurai named Fecundity is embezzling from the librarians' retirement fund, by the way."

"And yet your soldiers are Samurai, your underground is Naraku, and your country is Mikado," said Toki. "All Japanese words."

Isabeau sighed. "Unfortunately, the angels burned most of the historical texts. The answers to your questions may be lost to time."

There was a collective groan from the rest of the group, except from Asahi, who asked, "What language were they written in?"

ONE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED AND NINETY-SIX (or almost exactly twenty) YEARS AGO, THREE YEARS (or two weeks and four days) AFTER THE FOUNDING OF THE EASTERN KINGDOM OF MIKADO

King Akira surveyed the crowd gathering in the courtyard of the newly completed Mikado Castle.

"Say, Reiko, do you remember when you asked me why I wanted to build a castle?" he said to his wife.

"You still haven't given me a real answer," said Reiko.

"And remember how I said that it was because the Middle Ages was when humanity was at its most pious, and it would please the Archangels?"

"And remember how I said that it was actually the Renaissance, and that I knew you were lying to appease them?" retorted Reiko.

"And remember how I told you that it was because we needed a large, sturdy structure with small gates so that we could keep people from destroying the entrance to Naraku, we had to station soldiers around it so demons don't get out, that it was a good landmark and cultural center, and emergency shelters in case of bad weather?"

"And remember how I told you that we could have just built some barracks and a series of watchtowers?"

Akira nodded. "Well, today's the day you're going to find out." He walked outside and unfurled the massive banner emblazoned **First Annual Mikado Game Day and Renaissance Festival.**

Reiko sighed. "Really?"

"Really," said Akira, and he turned to address his people. "Citizens of Mikado! We are gathered here for three things: free food, free booze, and a whole week of games!"

The crowd cheered.

"Well, not you, Hotarou, you're just too tall." Akira laughed. "I'm just kidding. We will be playing football, basketball, volleyball, and even sports that don't have balls! And for those of you with a more adventurous bent, we will having the first annual LARP event, where we shall journey into the enchanted castle and slay the evil Black Knight that holds it in thrall! I myself will be joining you, as the grumpy Paladin Aquila!"

There was more cheering.

"Signup sheets are in the Great Hall through that door, and for those of you without costumes, we have plenty of free clothes through those doors! You can even take one home for yourself!"

The crowd cheered King Akira's name again.

"Let the games… BEGIN!"

The crowd cheered for one last time, and then began to disperse.

Queen Reiko crossed her arms. "You built this _entire_ castle," she said, making a wide sweeping gesture, "just so you could throw a LARP event?"

Akira grinned. "Secret's out."

Queen Reiko smirked. "You know what? We could make a dungeon, so next year we could do something like 'escape the evil sorcerer's lair'."

"Ooh, and we'd have to hide from the guards, or convince some of them to join our side," said Akira.

"Yes, and they can send us back to prison if they catch us, but if a free person reaches jail, they can free everyone!"

The royal couple chatted happily, blissfully unaware of how this day would go down in history.

(Queen Reiko is unrelated to the SMT IF… character Reiko Akanezawa.


End file.
